a Stucky story
by 123rachel123
Summary: Bucky is remembering his past and starts to realize his feelings for Steve are a little more than friendly. (this is my first fanfic and would appreciate if you read and review my work and tell me what you think and any ideas i could add) thank you.
1. finding Steve Chapter 1

Left arm shoved into his pocket and the hat so far down it practically covers his eyes, reading in detail the information page in front of him, how can a person look so much like him and yet feel like someone completely different. Who is this sergeant Barns who sacrificed himself in service of the great captain America? The man who deserved the love and attention of this Steve Rogers?

He wonders through the exhibition pondering over each new wonderful but painful information he reads. He stops mid-step and sees a screen showing an image of a tiny man no bigger than 5'4" when a memory flashed before his eyes.

" _Buck, I'm fine. Seriously stop stressing, it's no big deal. I had him on the ropes!" the small Steve sat on the bed feet dangling centimetres from the ground. Blood dripping down the side of his face from a cut just above his left eye and bruises all over him from the fight that was luckily intervened just on time. Bucky dabs the cut with a damp cloth to make sure the wound is clean before patching him up._

 _Bucky sighs "when are you going to learn that you don't have to fight every fella who you think is doing something wrong?" Bucky reaches up and cearfully dabs the wound, Steve flinches. "you have to take more care Stevie try and lay low for a while, okay?"_

 _Steve looks down at his hand which are clasped in his lap "okay"_

 _Bucky raises his eye brows "promise?"_

 _Steve doesn't answer straight away then looks up into Bucky's shiny eyes and can't resist "promise" a small smile spreads across his face._

A smile spreads across his face at the sudden memory; Steve Rogers _was_ a friends after all and the only person who can tell him more about who James Buchanan Barns just happens to be in hospital because of him.

A week after being in the hospital Steve was finally being discharged after the take down of the insight helicarriers. Due to the serum that enhanced his body he was able to heal almost 10x quicker than the average human the only this that remained where burses and shooting pains from his lower torso from where he was shot.

Steve slowly makes his way out the front of the hospital and head towards the car park where he sees Natasha leaning agents her car, she hasn't seen steve yet, he was about to call out to her when someone tightly grabs steves right are and practically drags him round the corner out of eye sight of Natasha.

"B-Bucky?" Steve frowns as Bucky stopped under a tree round the corner of the hospital. Without another hesitation Steve flung his arms around his old friend and Bucky froze at the sudden interaction. He breaths in the scent of Steve's beautiful natural small that Bucky didn't realised he missed so much. "Bucky I'm so sorry, I missed you so much" he leans away from Bucky leaving his hands on Bucky's shoulders, he scans over bucky's face. "are you okay, hows you arm I didn't mean to hurt you I just need you to drop the chip I had to stop hydra from..." Bucky interrupted Steve on his mission to apologise for everything. "wh-who am-was I"

Steve just smiled and said "you're my friend. Your James Buchannan Barns.


	2. becoming Stucky chapter 2

Bucky lies on Steve's couch eyes wide open, afraid to sleep. Hydra never really let him sleep, he was allowed to rest while they fixed his arm but the rest of the time he was caged in like an animal.

The door to Steve's room was slightly ajar and Bucky could hear the even breaths of Steve as slept. Before he realised what he was doing Bucky was up and heading towards the door. He hesitated, not knowing if it was a bad idea to venture in, before sliding through the door.

Steve was on his side and knees tucked up close to his body taking up little of the king sized bed, this is most likely an old habit from the old days when Steve was living at Bucky's house. they couldn't afford two beds so they sheared the one single bed. Steve would scrunch up as small as possible to allow more room for Bucky. Steve looked so calm and beautiful just laying there without a care in the world. Then he started muttering something that was to quiet to make out but Steve began to smile implying he was enjoying what ever dream he was having. _It alright for some_ Bucky thought to himself.

Bucky went to move around the corner of the bed to stand near Steve's head to work out what he was muttering in his sleep, when his elbow hit a small stack of books. The books started falling to the ground. Immediately Bucky swung round and dived for the book before they hit the ground and woke up Steve when all the books had been caught Bucky went to place the books back, when the book at the top of the pile slipped from his hands and crashed to the floor.

Steve was up in a flash, shield in hand and ready to fight the oncoming attach but when he saw Bucky's apologetic face he stood back into neutral position, removed his shield and sat back onto his bed. "jezz whats is it about people watching me sleep, Buck what are you doing in here?"

"sorry... I ... I was just..." Bucky's voice trailed off he didn't really have an explanation.

Through a yawn Steve said "it's okay buck, I used to find It hard to sleep to" he smiled then rose from the bed and patted Bucky on the shoulder "how about I make you some hot chocolate just like old times" Steve suggested

"with cream and marshmallows to?" Bucky looked into Steve's gorgeous blue eyes.

"Well I haven't got any cream left, Natasha finished it all but I do have marshmallows." Steve grabbed Bucky's flesh arm and lead him to the kitchen and began rummaging through the cupboards for the hot chocolate. Bucky hopped onto the kitchen counter and looked at Steve rushing around.

" _What you making me for dinner today, Stevie? What's on Chef Rogers's menu today?" Bucky said walking through the front door and hanging his coat up on the pegs in the hallway._

" _you'll have to wait and see buddy!" Steve said from the kitchen._

 _Bucky walked into the kitchen and went straight to the pans that were heating on the hob. And reached out to lift the lid of the nearest pot when Steve pushed him away and held up his wooden spoon stopping from looking inside "I said you had to wait and see and I meant it."_

 _Stepping back with his arms up in surrender, Bucky started to laugh, "what you gonna do? Hit me with you wooden spoon?" Bucky stepped forward and grabbed Steve by the waist lifting his tiny body over his shoulder. Bucky holds Steve with one arm holding him steady as he playfully squirms to try and get down and used the other hand to lift the pot lid and peek inside to see a warm coloured broth with little lumps of chicken and chives all simmering away, the intense waft of food makes Bucky feel warm inside, Steve knows that it Bucky favourite dinner. He places the lid back and takes down a very grumpy looking Steve from his shoulder._

" _Well, that the surprise ruined. You won't appreciate it as much now." Steve turns round and takes out two shabby looking dinner plates from the cupboard when Bucky comes up behind Steve and turns him around and gives him a big bear hug, "thank you I will always appreciate what you do for me."_

"Bucky? Buck are you in there" Steve was waving his hand in front Bucky's face. Bucky snapped back to attention noticing the cup of steaming hot chocolate sitting on the counter next to him.

"sorry I was just remembering how you used to cook me dinner" Bucky smiled and took a sip from his mug. "mmmmm perfect."

"hot chocolate was always you weak spot. Do you want me to stay up with you for the rest of the night?" Steve suggests.

"No its okay I think I'll just sit around and um... do something to um... trigger a memories" Bucky shrugs.

"Buck, I think you should at least try and get some sleep, you must be exhausted." Steve has always been so caring of others especially when it come to helping Bucky in any way he can as pre serum Steve could never defend Bucky in a fight but could keep him healthy and happy.

"I can't because if I close my eyes... I see..." Bucky looks down at the mug in his hands and sighs "I see myself beating the shit out of you on that dumb helicarrier..." Steve grabs Bucky's chin interrupting him and pulls his head up so he can look into his eyes.

"Buck, it wasn't your fault, I was your mission and you were just fulfilling what hydra told you to do. You didn't know what you were doing and the real James Buchanan Barns would never have done that and all I care about is trying to help you remember who you _really_ are."

"Thanks Stevie but I think it's just gonna take some time." Steve let go of Bucky's chin and they both looked into each other's eyes until Bucky changed the subject. "So, what where you dreaming about?"

"What?" Steve said shocked of the subject changed.

"Well, when I was in your room you were talking in your sleep and you looked happy and I was wondering what you were dreaming about?" Bucky questioned.

Steve blushed "it was nothing, really just... no it was nothing"

"Stevie you can trust me, tell me."

"I was dreaming about... um" Steve then muttered something under his breath

"I'm sorry what was that ? You need to be a little louder"

"you! Alright. I was dreaming about you!" Steve said raising his voice a little and stepping away from Bucky. Heat rushing through his cheeks as he wishes he could take back what he just said. He turns around so his back on Bucky.

Bucky slid of the counter and walked slowly around Steve so he was face to face with him. Something deep down in him took over of him and without another thought Bucky reached up to Steve and passionately kissed him. Steve was about to protest then folded is arms around Bucky's back and pulled him closer. Bucky pushed Steve up agents the wall and moved down to Steve's neck and started kissing him harder. Steve let out a small sigh but then Bucky pulled away.

"I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to do that." In shock Bucky moved away and sat down on the table that was in the corner.

Steve pushed away from the wall and crossed the room to stand in front of Bucky "buck it's okay, things are different know, being... attracted to men is... okay, now it's more socially acceptable than in the 1940s. I mean gay marriage is legal now. Everything changed." Bucky look surprised at this news never did he think two men would be able to marry. "But I do have to ask was that kiss just a moment of confusion or did you really want to kiss me?"

"No I think I've always wanted to kiss you but it was never allowed" he stood up to Steve's level and placed his hand inside Steve's "but now that is legal I guess..." Steve leaned down interrupting him once more and kissed him. Slowly but very surely Steve and Bucky moved back into Steve's room.


	3. meeting the avengers Chapter 3

When Steve awoke he reached out his arm for Bucky only to have his efforts be useless. Bucky was gone. Steve then noticed the fire alarm started ringing through the apartment that's what must have woken him. Steve was up and out the door to see where the fire was. When he came into the main room there was no one there but he could see smoke coming out of the kitchen. When he rushed in he saw Bucky standing underneath the fire alarm waving his hands around like an idiot. After a few seconds Bucky grabbed the broom that was leaning against the counter and smashed the alarm straight of the ceiling.

When it turned silent Steve said "Bucky? Are you okay in here" Bucky jumped around at the sound of Steves voice.

"Steve! I didn't realise you were up!"

"I don't know how I could have slept through that noise" Steve smiled. "What are you doing in here anyway" Steve coughed when he breathed in some of the smoke floating around the room.

"Cooking um... correction burning breakfast, the thing is you always cooked for me so I decided to try but you make it look a lot easier than it is." Bucky turned towards the smoking food.

Steve walked over to the hob and started to turn down the heat and open the air vents to let the smoke out. He then took some tongs and pushed the sausages around the pan, they were slightly burnt but not too bad. "There, breakfast is saved, I think."

Bucky pulled Steve into a hug, "sorry I woke you," he kissed Steve "sorry I almost burnt down your kitchen," he kissed him again "sorry i..."

"You don't need to apologise, I'll teach you how to cook, we'll make something nice for dinner tonight. Okay?" Steve said.

Bucky nodded.

A few minutes later they both sat down to an overly done breakfast. They sat in silence together both trying to pretend that they were enjoying what they were eating.

"Let's just say it" Bucky started "this tastes discussing." They both started laughing.

"I didn't want to say it but yeah this is bad. How's this for a slice of awesome," Steve took Bucky's hand "we get some delicious pastries and go to the park, we could find a nice bench and sit down together, if you want to?"

"Sounds good" Bucky said squeezing Steves hand slightly.

"Hang on" Steve got up from the table and disappeared into his room. He was gone for a few minutes and when he returned he had a pile of clothes. He place them on the table in front of Bucky, "they might be a little big but you can't go walking around in broad daylight in this tacky shirt.

"what's wrong with this shirt." Bucky said taking the pile of cloths and standing up in front of Steve.

"it's all ripped and dirty, I can't have my pal looking like a homeless man, and then there's your hair..." Steve said reaching an arm to lift up a lock of hair that hung lose on Bucks shoulder.

"What's wrong with my hair?" Bucky protested.

"You should try brushing it." Steve said letting his had drop to his side. "Go and get changed, take a shower, brush your teeth and your hair." Steve said shoving him in the direction of the bathroom.

Steve heard the shower turn on and the water flow out he then went to his room to change. He slipped on some genes and started rummaging through his draws in such of a t-shirt. When Bucky walked in through the door holding a red and white horizontal striped t-shirt he said "I can't wear this I'll look like a pirate." Steve rolled his eyes

"Try this one" Steve threw a sky blue t-shirt to him that he was planning on wearing.

"Thank you." He slipped the shirt on over his damp hair and used the towel to dry his hair.

"Have you tried braiding your hair?" Steve suggested.

"What like a six year old girl?" Bucky laughed when Steve nodded "no I haven't and I don't really intend to either"

"Okay, how about an ordinary pony tail, here I have an elastic band somewhere." Steve looked over to his desk and picked up a black hair band that Natasha probably left here when she was hanging around his place. He went to give it to Bucky but when he looked over to him he saw a very distressed man with his hair stick in-between the plates of his metal arm. Steve smiled "here let me help."

30 minutes later they were both sitting on a bench looking out over the park, stuffing their faces with some pastry, when in the bakery they had argued on which one they missed the most, they both settled on strawberry pie. They had been sitting on the park bench for about 15 minutes when a little boy and his older sister approached the two of them.

"Are you captain America?" the little girl asked

"Um... yes I am" Steve said smiling at the little girl.

"We just wanted to say thank you for what you did for our country the other week." The little girl said.

Their mother came up behind the children "could we trouble you for a picture?"

"No no its fine" Steve knelt down and put his arm around the children and smiled at the camera. He accepted their thank yous and then they let him go back to his day out.

He sat back down next to Bucky "they love you" he said in a sober tone. "I mean they still love you just as much maybe more than they did in the 1940s." Bucky shook his head in disbelief.

"No they don't they love captain America not me" Steve leaned forward so that his elbows were on his knees.

"Steve, there's no way in hell that your gonna convince me that there is a bone in your body that's not captain America and what he stands for." Bucky laughed "Now stop beating yourself up, from what I can tell you've been beating yourself up since we did that mission to capture Dr Zola and that was over 70 years ago."

"Thanks Buck"

After wandering around the park for an hour or two Steve's back pocket started vibrating. "what is that?" Bucky asked.

"It's my mobile device thing, shield told me to get one so they could keep in touch but now I use it to stay in touch with the avengers. Hang on I have to get this." Steve answered the phone "hello this is Steve Rogers"

" _dude you don't need to tell me who you are I phoned you up"_ the voice said through the phone

"What do you want Tony?" Steve rolled his eyes

" _Is that any way to talk to a family friend?"_ Tony said

"Tony I'm busy what do you want?"

" _Pepper said I should invite you to come and stay at Stark tower to be closer to the other Avengers and do patrols and stuff to protect New York and the rest of the world as you and your bird friend destroyed S.H.E.I.L.D."_ Tony said.

"Tony, I don't think I can, I have a... um A friend staying with me... and I don't think he's a big fan of big groups of people" Steve said to tony.

" _That's okay you'll have a whole floor just for yourself, your friend doesn't even need to talk to us if he doesn't want to. Please Steve we need you here in new York." Tony pleaded_

"Did pepper tell you to say that?" Steve asked.

" _Yep every word, but seriously we need our captain."_

"I'll have to ask my friend if he's okay with this if he's doesn't want to then I'm not coming." Steve held his hand over the receiver, "Bucky..."

"Yeah yeah I heard what he said and I think we should go, I meant what I said about you being Captain America, and it's your job to be there for the people as much as it is for me to be there for you when you're off saving the world."

Going back to the phone, "Tony?"

" _Yes dear"_ tony said in a cheerful voice

"We're on our way."

Steve and Bucky went back to the apartment to pack which was easy for Bucky as had very little stuff. Steve just wanted clothes, his suit and his shield. Soon they wear ready, they decided to take the train as neither could drive and Steve's motorbike couldn't carry their luggage.

They arrived at Stark tower over 5 hours later. Pepper greeted them at the front door "Captain its absolute delight to see you again. Who's your friend?"

Steve looks over his shoulder at Bucky who was looking up at the tall building in astonishment. "This is my old friend James Barns." Bucky look down from the building at pepper and smiled in greeting. Pepper reached out her left hand as a greeting. Without bothering to think Bucky reached out his metal arm and shook her hand. Other than a light gasp she said nothing which was a shock to Bucky as most people would have freaked out. "It's nice to meet Mr. Barns, why don't you two head on up to your level and get settled in." She smiled and showed them the way to the elevator.

Their level was huge much bigger than Steve's apartment. The elevator opened up to a wide hall space, Steve and Bucky walked out the lift and down a few steps into a living area with a couch and a large TV screen in front of a wall of glass looking out over New York. They both looked around and entered the kitchen there was a table in the centre and a kitchen counter almost all the way around the edge of the room with a white marble counter. There were two bedrooms both exactly the same, a king-sized bed up agents the far wall and a wardrobe in the corner opposite and two bed side tables on either side of the bed.

"wow it's nice, and very big." Bucky said to Steve.

"Bucky I don't think we should tell them about you and me just jet." Steve said

Bucky was taken off guard by that but he understood what Steve was getting at "Right yeah I understand, of course. Yeah let's keep it quiet." Bucky nodded

"Grate, shall I go and introduce you to them all?" Steve suggested. Bucky just nodded, he was a little peeved at the thought that Steve might be ashamed of Bucky and Steve being an item.

They went back into the elevator and pressed the button that said main floor in hope that would be the place all the Avenger would be at and they were in luck because when the doors open it revel a large room with a mini bar, chairs, sofas, computers, even a pool table and in the centre of the room was a clump of people all laughing as if someone had just told a funny joke.

Tony was the first to notice them coming in, "Capsical, so glad you're here."

"Tony." Steve said with a small nod. Tony's eyes flashed over to Bucky who was at Steve's side "This is my friend I was telling you about, James Barns"

"Hey, glad you could convince Capsical to come over to New York." Tony said

"It didn't take much persuasion he _is_ Captain America after all." They all laughed except Steve who decided to introduce everyone.

"Bucky, this is Tony stark son of Howard Stark do you remember him?" Steve said to Bucky

"Yeah how can I forget Howard do you remember his idea of the floating cars." Bucky laughed "and then they exploded on the stage"

"Yeah, I remember," he turned back to the confused Avengers "on the right that's Thor" Thor gave a big wave. "Next to him is Clint Barton and do you remember Natasha?" Steve asked.

Shyly Bucky nodded "yeah I remember, sorry I shot you."

"Twice" Natasha nodded "that's okay I guess." She smiled at him.

"Next to Natasha we have Sam Wilson but you'll remember him as..." Steve was interrupted by Bucky

"The bird, I remember well I remember breaking your wings, sorry about that." Bucky apologised again.

"That's okay dude, hell I got a new and improved suit and its red! So you know what I'll forgive you" Sam walked over to Steve and shook his hand and did the same to Bucky "no hard feelings."

"Everyone this is James Buchannan Barns he not been himself recently but now he's back and back to stay... I hope" Steve said to the Avengers

"Steve, it's okay to say I was brainwashed by a Nazi rogue science division for 75 years being their personal assassin." Silence followed what Bucky said then Clint walked over to Bucky and hit him really hard in the head.

"Clint?" Steve gasped

Bucky fell to the ground looking shocked "ouch what just happened"

Clint just stepped back and said "cognitive recalibration it's what Natasha did to get me back from being brainwashed" Clint shrugged "just tiring to help."

Natasha slapped Clint round the back of his head. "He's not brainwashed anymore"

"Yes because I hit him really hard round the head" Clint said smiling proudly at himself and walked off to the kitchen.

Authors notes: **whoop another chapter up, can't wait to hear what you think. I didn't know whether I should have done the bit with Clint it wasn't my idea, I get it but I don't know if you guys will get it, it's from the first avengers. I'm going to go and start working on my next chapter might be able to get another one up today but I'll see how it goes. I'm gonna be doing the move night Candi suggested but any other ideas please let me know. Thank you.**


	4. movie night Chapter 4

All the avengers sat around the dinner table each with a plate of food that had been served up. there was a spear seat near the end of the table and minutes into the meal Dr banner came rushing in saying "sorry I'm late I was in the lab doing some research... oh we have guesses" he shook hands with Steve "it's good to see you again cap." He turned to Bucky "And you are?"

"Bucky. It's nice to meet you Dr Banner." Bucky politely said.

"Please call me Bruce" he went and sat down a started digging into his meal.

Dinner was nice and relaxing for Steve. However, Bucky found it hard to find things to talk about. The conversation was mostly about a mission they'd all done recently or how awesome Tony's new gadget was or the new arrows Clint had just bought it was all worthless information to Bucky. Until someone got on to talking about Disney, Bucky and Steve both perked up at the mention of it. They turned to look at each other like a pair of excited school girls.

"We used to love those movies. I think there were 4 in total? Snow white, Pinocchio, fantasia and Dumbo but we never got round to seeing that one" Bucky said trying to remember

Steve nodded "yeah that was them you took me to each one, Snow white was my favourite. Have you guys seen them?" he turned back, only to see avenges all looking at the two of them.

"This had ruined my day." Tony said "They haven't had their harts broken by Bambi!"

"Haven't enjoyed the magic of Cinderella!" Natasha added

"Haven't watched Robin Hood!" Clint shrieked.

"You guys haven't lived. Alright I call an emergency movie night this is desperately needed. I thing I can safely say that we all order you two to go back down to your level and do not sleep until you've watched all recommended Disney movies." Tony insisted

Bucky and Steve were practically pushed into the elevator, Natasha followed in after to help them set everything up.

Once Natasha had set up the TV and a comfy sofa for the two boys to sit on Tony came into the room talking about which film would come on first "we've narrowed down our favourites to the top 5 movies that will enrich your life for the better" Tony smiled "have fun" and at that they left leaving Cinderella to begin playing screen.

Now that they were alone Steve shifted over to Bucky's side, pulled his legs up and placed his head on Bucky's shoulder. Bucky kissed the top of Steve's head and then rested his head on Steve's.

" _Bucky I'm so excited" they'd heard so much about this movie "apparently it's going to have colour." They were getting inline to watch the wizard of Oz. It was said to be the film of the centenary, according to the posters. Bucky had managed to win some tickets in a crossword puzzle he'd completed. "Thank you for bring me, it's going to be swell." He started coughing_

" _Steve calm down, you're going give yourself asthma attack" Bucky said rubbing Steve's back until he stopped he coughing. Eventually they were allowed into the cinema where they sat at the very back right in the centre Bucky said it was the best seat in the house. They couldn't afford any sweets or popcorn._

 _They both enjoyed the movie a lot and even weeks after they were still mesmerized about how much they loved it. Steve was still thanking him and was always getting the weekly newspaper just encase Bucky won something again._

They laughed at the funny moments and when it came to Bambi they wiped away tears that were not quite as subtle as they had wish. When they were halfway through Robin Hood Clint came down and gave them some sweets and marshmallows and a bottle of coca-cola but instead of leaving after he stayed to watch the rest of Robin Hood calming he was making sure they didn't fall asleep. When sleeping beauty came on Clint decided to go to bed leaving Bucky and Steve to go back to hugging as they had moved apart when Clint entered the room. Nearing the end of the movie when Gaston falls to his death Bucky gets up, "I have to... excuse me..." he runs out the living space, into the bathroom and locks the door.

Steve paused the movie and slowly walks across to the bathroom door. He can hear Bucky's muffled sobs. He lightly taps on the door. "Bucky? Is there anything I can do?"

"n-no... its... o-okay... S-Steve...it'll p-pass soon" Bucky said through the door.

"What's this about buck?" Steve asked.

"I remember it"

"Remember what?" Steve was confused.

"Falling!"

Steve stepped back from the door without saying another word. There was a long pause. Then the sound of the door unlocking. When the door opened revealing a puffy eyed Bucky, Steve just stood there in shock of what was happening.

Steve then fell to his knees "Bucky, I'm so sorry I couldn't reach you, I tried, I did, I try so hard to save you" tears started spilling from his eyes " please forgive me I wish I had jumped after you if I could survive being frozen for 70 years and being shot three time I'm sure I could have served jumping after you and saving you from falling into the hands of hydra... I'm so sorry." At this point buck pulled Steve up from his knees and pulled him into a tight huge.

"Steve there was nothing you could have done, and if you had saved me we probably would never have got together. In a way dyeing was the best thing that happened to me." Bucky reassured Steve.

Steve laughed through the tears, they both walked back to the sofa pressed play and watched the end of beauty and the beast then moved onto frozen which Natasha had insisted on being watched and by the end it had both grown men singing at the top of their lungs.

The next morning Steve was in the kitchen showing Bucky the best way to cook the perfect pancake but as hard as he tried Bucky just couldn't focus on the food only on how good Steve looked in the morning, eventually Steve gave up tiring to get Bucky's attention back on cooking so he just served up the pancakes and sat down opposite Bucky, both holding hands across the table. However, they both let go when Sam walked in his jogging gear.

"Hey, Steve are you coming running today?" Sam asked

"Oh, no I can't I just ate I wouldn't want my breakfast to make a reappearance. Anyway I have an appointment." Steve shrugged.

"With who?" Sam questioned him.

"My bed!" Steve winked at Bucky.

"How about you James? You up for a run?" Sam asked.

Bucky was surprised to hear his first name but that was what Steve introduced him as. "Na I'm good I think I'm in for a stay in bed day, anyway I'm shattered from the long movie marathon last night."

"Okay whatever I'm gonna go running by myself then. You two enjoy your lazy day." Sam said while leaving the room.

Steve muttered under his breath "Oh I plan to." When they heard the elevator doors close Bucky grabbed Steve by the waist and Steve jumped up and wrapped his legs around Bucky's body. Bucky carried Steve back to his room.

Later Bucky woke up with his legs tangled in between a sleeping Steve's. Bucky's left arm was under a pillow that Steve was resting his head on and his right hand on Steve's neck, he slid his hand down Steve's back and pulled him a little closer he kissed Steve's head then untangled himself and got up. he slipped back into his clothes and left Steve's room.

He was on his way to find something to eat when the elevator doors opened up. Tony strolled into the room "Moring Tripod" Tony said wondering in and sat down on the couch.

"What did you call me?" Bucky asked.

"Tripod you know 'cause you only have 3 limbs, don't like it? Okay how about one arm wonder? Metallica? Snowflake?" Tony suggested

"I think I prefer tripod, what you doing here anyway?" Bucky asked.

"I came down here to warn you, this morning I was tampering with the piping to see if I could reduce the space it takes up but there was small accident and now there's no hot water. It won't be long, a few hours maybe but if you want some hot water you'll have to get it the old fashion way, which shouldn't be a problem for the you two senior citizens."

"Okay, no hot water, got it, I'll tell Steve when he wakes up. I'm gonna make some coffee do you want some." Bucky said

"Arrr thanks tripod that would be great." Tony said getting up and following Bucky into the kitchen

Bucky grabbed the kettle and went to plug it in when an electric current shot through his left arm. Bucky was shoved back a few steps and he's arm begun to smoke, he tried moving his fingers but was unable to do so. "Ahhh shit, I don't know how to fix it!" Bucky never paid much attention when Hydra fixed his arm so he just turned around to tony, "do you think you can fix it for me?"

Tony examined Bucky's arm "all my tools are up stairs in my lab, I'll be able to fix it there I'm sure."

Without another word both left the apartment and about 15 minutes later Steve woke up alone once again. "I'm gonna have to talk to Bucky about sleeping in." He muttered to himself. He swung his legs off the bed grabbed a towel and hopped into the shower, when he turned on the switch ice cold water gushed out and sent him into shock. Steve fell to the ground gasping for air. Panic spread through Steve's head _not again, I can't do this again, I have to get out._ He called out to anyone who would listen, but no one came. After what felt like another life time Steve managed to compose himself enough to slip on some clothes grab as many spear blankets as he could find and cocooned himself on his bed.

His arm was moving without a hitch Bucky thanked Tony.

"It's no problem, in fact it's fascinating really, I'm gonna start writing up some plans to enhance your arm and I might be able to get it right so you can do softer movements with it and..." While Tony was talking a voice from the ceiling started talking.

"Sir, I'm reading that Captain America's hart rate has spiked." The voice said

"What's your diagnosis JARVIS" Tony said in a panic

"He seems to being having a sever anxiety attack. Sir" JARVIS calmly explained

"What is that?" Bucky said frantically looking up at the ceiling

"An anxiety attack is when a..." Tony stated to explain.

"No not that, the voice? Actually tell me later I'm going to go help Steve." Bucky ran to the elevator and pushed the button for Steve's level. Before the doors had opened fully Bucky ran out and into Steve room.

He looked at the lump of blankets, "Stevie?" he walked over to the bed and begun tearing of the layers. He could hear the shower running and immediately knew what was going on. "Oh Stevie"

Finally when all the blankets had been removed Bucky found Steve scrunched up into a ball rocking himself back and forward. Bucky took Steve into arms and pulled a blanket around the two of them.

"I'm c-cold" was all Steve could say before began sobbing uncontrollably.

"I know Stevie, I know, Shhhhh it okay Stevie" Bucky said trying to calm Steve down.

Steve shifted himself so that Bucky's metal arm was under his neck. "do you want me to cover my arm? It can't be comfortable for you, let me just go..."

Steve grabbed Bucky's shirt and kept him close, "NO! Don't go."

There was a long pause


	5. team meeting Chapter 5

It took a while for Steve to calm down but eventually his breaths evened out as he fell into a light sleep. After a few minutes of watching Steve sleep there was a tap on the door. Bucky carefully removed his arm and went to open the door.

It was Tony "hey is Capsical okay?"

"Yeah he's okay now he just... I forgot to tell him about the water pipe." Bucky shrugged

"Well as long as he's okay now" Tony nodded "anyway, were having a team meeting on patrol schedules in the main level in 15 mins, you're welcome to join in and we can discuss your involvement." Tony added and began to walk towards the elevator doors.

"What do you mean involvement?" Bucky was confused.

Tony didn't reply until he was in the elevator, as the doors started closing "you'll see" Tony smiled and the doors closed.

Stunned Bucky walked back into the room and returned to Steve's side. Shaking him a little Bucky whispered to Steve "Stevie, Stevie you have to get up."

Steve's eyes fluttered open "what is it?" Steve asked in a sleepy tone.

"Team meeting." Bucky answered. "Come on Captain." Bucky dragged Steve into sitting position "up and at 'em"

"what is it about?"

"patrol schedule and something about my involvement?" Bucky shrugged. "Whatever that means"

"I don't know but let's go find out" Steve took Bucky's hand and the both of them walked to the elevator the pressed the button and sped up to the main level.

"can I ask you something? Bucky said looking over at Steve.

"Shoot." Steve smiled

"who's JARVIS?"

Steve let out a small laugh "JARVIS stands for Just a Rather Very Intelligent System. He's a computer he runs the house and helps Mr stark with general... life."

"And he's interactive?" Bucky said with a blank face.

"yes" Steve nodded in agreement.

There was a pause

Then Bucky said "so like Dr Zola"

Before Steve could reply the elevator doors opened up and Bucky let go of Steve's hand. Steve reached out for Bucky's shoulder and turned him to face him. "JARVIS is different from Dr Zola, JARVIS is an actual computer whereas Zola was the man's brain."

"okay" Bucky shrugged. Even though he won't admit it to Steve, Dr Zola always scared him with all his knowledge and superiority. When Buck was the winter soldier he was forced to spend lots of time with Dr Zola when creating plans on how to kill and cover up his next target

Steve and Bucky walked across the room together and sat down on the sofa.

"as everyone is already here well go ahead and start." Tony began "so as Natasha, Capsical and pigeon recently destroyed S.H.I.E.L.D we're going to..."

"Hydra!" Natasha interrupted.

"Whatever it was it gone and now, as pepper puts, new York's people and everyone else is venerable, so on our behalf she offered the president our assistance so from this moment forward we have to set up patrols. JARVIS has created a timetable for all of us but first we have to discuss a serious matter."

Everyone looked at Tony in suspense "Bucky!" Tony finally said

"Me? What about me?" Bucky started to panic a little.

"relax tripod, I'm asking the team whether they think it's a good idea to allow you to work with Capsical on his shift and if you do a good job think about making you part of the Avengers."

"No." Bucky said immediately.

"No? Bucky why not" Steve was confused he thought Bucky would jump at the idea of working net to him instead of against him.

"I can't trust myself. I don't know how deep hydra training goes and if I lose control in the middle of a fight I could hurt lots of people or worse I could hurt Steve." Bucky took in a deep breath. "My answers thanks but no thanks."

"Bucky we could really use someone with your skills." Bruce said

"He right, Bucky son of Barns you can't allow your past to shape ones fetcher." Thor boomed out.

"Thank you Thor but it's not my fetcher I worried about, it's everyone else's." Bucky looked at Steve to see if he understood. He though once Steve understood what he was talking about the rest of the Avengers would follow.

Steve looked blank as if Bucky was speaking in a different language. "But don't you want to help?" Steve asked.

"I want nothing more than to help and the best way to do that is to stay away from the fight and keep innocent lives safe." Bucky got up "look I appreciate the offer but no means no." He walked away from the group and towards the lift. When inside, he pressed the button marked roof. The elevator jolted up and when the doors opened there was a burst of cold air and the sound of the city below. He walked over to the edge of the building and looked out over the city. It was nice up here watching the sunset. Relaxing.

A few hours later a voice came from behind Bucky "Wow its cold out here" Bucky could barely see Steve in the dark but he could see that he was smiling shyly at him.

"I hadn't noticed." Bucky said coldly.

"I'm sorry if you think we pushed you into anything, that wasn't our intent. We're not going to push you into anything, we all thought you'd rather want to try to help rather than destroy." Steve said shivering slightly.

Bucky unzipped his jacket and threw it over Steve's shoulders.

"You'll get cold." Steve said

"Seriously?" Bucky raised his eyebrows. "They used to call me the _winter_ soldier and you're worried about _me_ getting cold." Bucky laughed. "Come on lets go inside."

When back in Steve's level Bucky lay down on the couch and Steve cuddled up with him. "You know we haven't done this very well." Bucky said while Steve rested his head on Bucky's chest.

"What do you mean? I'm quite comfortable here." Steve replied.

"no I mean us, we haven't officially said what this is or actually been on a date." Bucky said

"Fine." Steve got up and tugged Bucky off the sofa, "James Buchanan Barns will you give me the pleasure of your company so I can take you out on our first date?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Bucky said, beaming at Steve brightly.

"Well apparently I do have to ask because according to you _we were doing it wrong_ " Steve said mocking Bucky's voice.

"Fine then, I accepts." Bucky leaned in and placed his hands on either side of Steve face and kissed him.

"Well that was just too adorable." Natasha practically screamed then she started jumping up and down like a child "OH MY GOD! I told him, I told Clint you two should be an item."

"Natasha please doesn't tell anyone. Steve wanted to keep this quiet." Bucky said first.

"Why? Everyone will think its grate that you're together. What the big deal all the other avengers think it's okay they even came up with a couple name." Natasha told them.

Bucky and Steve looked at each other "the others know about us?" asked Steve.

"Yeah it's really obvious, the way you two move apart whenever we enter the room or how you look at each other across the table at dinner. You two are made for each other." Natasha said walking over to the two of them and hugging them tightly. "I'm gonna go tell Clint about the news he'll be so excited"

"What did you mean couple names?" Bucky questioned.

"Oh there you names mashed together tony preferred Starbucks but everyone else settled on Stucky." Natasha said moving towards the elevator.

When she left, Bucky just looked over at Steve "Is Stucky really the best they could come up with?"

Steve took Bucky into a hug, "I kinda like it. its cute." he planted A kiss on Bucky's lips. He then pushed Bucky back down on the sofa, Steve positioned himself so he was sitting strait on Bucky's lap, he wrapped his arms around Bucky's neck and Bucky ran his arms around Steve's back. They began to kiss when they heard the sound of a camera taking a picture.

"NATASHA GO AWAY!" Steve shouted throwing a pillow at her across the room.

Being the smooth spy she is, she dogged out the way off the flying pillow and ran into the elevator saying "oh that's going on twitter."

"NATASHA DONT YOU DEAR PUT THAT UP ON TWITTER YET." Steve began to shout but the doors to lift closed before he could finish. He looked up at the ceiling "JARVIS could you make sure that if Natasha does put that up on twitter that you take it down before anyone sees it."

"yes Captain I'll get right onto it" JARVIS answered.

"thank you JARVIS" Steve looked down at Bucky and slipped his hand through Bucky's hair. "I was right, your hairs much nicer now it's brushed," he looked up at the ceiling once more to talk to JARVIS "JARVIS can you make sure no one else come into my apartment tonight?"

"Absolutely, sir." JARVIS answered.

Bucky smiledand they began kissing once more. Excited about their first date but probably not as excited as Natasha is.

Author's notes: **I forgot to add author's notes to my last chapter, opps, so that another chapter done. This one is short but sets the story line for the next few chapters. I hope you enjoy it. I really has fun writing this chapter and I plan on explaining more about the patrols and Bucky will become part of the avengers don't worry. I'll post another chapter tomorrow because I know exactly what I'm gonna write :)**


	6. first date Chapter 6

Like Natasha said all the avengers were really chilled about Stucky being a thing. It was nice for the two of them, they could hold hands more often but they still felt a little uncomfortable kissing in front of the avengers.

A few days later Bucky was lying on their bed when he was heard the sound of movement. Awake, he scanned the room and when his eyes landed on Steve he smiled, "morning." Bucky said letting him know he was awake.

"Morning, sorry was I to loud? I had to get up I'm meant to be on patrol this morning." Steve said slipping into his Captain America uniform. "I had an idea tony said we need more people on watch so I was thinking you could do it?"

"On watch?" Bucky asked

"Well, when we are all out on patrol we have people who stay here, in stark tower, looking at the security cameras of where were working and help up 'watch our backs' as it were. We would usually use JARVIS but as so many of us will be out at the same time there might be a cross over or confusion of information and this way you'll be helping but still far away from the fight." Steve proposed

"I guess we could give it a try." Bucky grinned at the idea of doing something good for a change.

"Cool! I'll tell Tony and we'll get you set up." Steve said picking up his shield.

Bucky was watching Steve on the screen in front of him. Steve was called out to a shopping centre in France where there was a hostage crisis. "Okay, Steve there is 25 hostages, 17 criminals all armed and exits have been covered." Bucky began to get back into the feel of a mission.

" _I recommend me and falcon go up to the top and enter through the roof door. If we're quiet we can sneak up on them and take them out from inside_ " Steve told Bucky and Sam.

" _Roger that."_ Falcon said _"excuse the pun"_ Sam linked arms with Steve's and let his wings shoot out and they flew up to the roof. Steve used his shield to smash the lock off and opened the door without making a sound.

"When you turn right there's a man 10 meters away." Bucky said into Steve's ear piece.

Steve silently walked up behind the man and pulled him into a head lock until he passed out. Lay him down carefully and moved on. Steve and Sam moved over to the railing where below the hostages were being kept. " _Sam, stay here I'm going down to the next level and on my count we go in."_

Steve left Sam where he was and ran to the stairs, barley touching the ground Steve jumped down several steps at a time. _"Bucky are we clear to attack?" Steve whispered_

" _everything looks good on 3."_ Bucky scanned the computer screens _"1... 2... 3"_ Sam flew down from his level and started shooting and Steve began fighting with

Within a couple of minutes the hostages were free. _"are we good to go?"_ Steve asked Bucky

"Yep your good, now get back here." Bucky said to Steve.

"You know when I get back I think I might just take you..." Steve began

"Whoa there cap, please do not finish that sentence and remember that this is a shared radio line." Sam interrupted.

"Relax Sam I was just gonna say I think I might just take Bucky on that date we planned." Steve said "how about tonight Bucky?"

"sounds good." Bucky said "hanging up the line now I'll see you when you get back." Bucky said as he taped the hang up button.

All Bucky had to do was fill in the mission report and then notify the government of any problems that were uncovered over the mission and then JARVIS would do everything else. There wasn't very much for him to do but he still felt good to be doing something.

When Steve walked into the apartment he was greeted by Bucky standing there in a black suit. His hair was pulled back into a small pony tail. "Wow, you scrub up pretty well." Steve said walking towards Bucky.

"In your room there's a suit I want you to change then come and meet me back out here, got it." Bucky ordered

"Who's the captain now" Steve said as he walked into his room to do as he was told. On his bed was the suit, like Bucky's but it was a dark blue. It was nice and comfortable. Before he came out of his room Steve ran his hand through his hair, had a quick look in the mirror and left.

They both got into the elevator and started speeding up. "where are we going?" Steve inquired

Before Bucky answered the question the doors opened to reveal the roof covered in candles and a table in the centre covered with a white cloth, posh cutlery and crockery. "were having dinner on the roof?" Steve asked with a hint of excitement.

"well I wanted to take you to a drive through cinema but Natasha said it was a stupid ass decision and told me to do this instead." He led the way to the table and pulled out Steve's chair. Steve politely sat down then Bucky sat down opposite. "Do you like it?"

"it's wonderful, are we eating up here?"

"yes we are." Bucky nodded

Steve looked around "how are we going to get our food?"

"Ahhh I'm glad you asked, you know the picture Natasha took of us the other day?" Steve nodded "well, it took a lot of persuasion but I managed to get Natasha not to put the photo on twitter until you said you were ready for the public to know. Naturally she did it anyway, so JARVIS took it down as you asked and I went to have harmless a little talk with her, she said she was sorry and would do anything to make up for actions so I said she had to be our waitress/chef for the night." Bucky beamed at Steve as the elevator doors opened once more, revelling a very peeved looking Natasha wearing a black dress with a white apron.

Bucky and Steve looked at each other and burst out laughing. Natasha roughly placed the plate of soup in front of them "easy Natasha, what did we agree"

Natasha rolled her eyes "service with a smile." Then she gave Bucky a very sarcastic smile. She then poured out the drinks and left as fast as she came.

"This is going to be a great night" Steve said digging into his soup. Bucky looked at Steve like he wanted to pause this moment and remember it forever.

The evening went without a hitch Natasha made a lovely bowl of soup for the starter and for the main she had made a delirious dish that she'd learnt to cook in Russia then pudding was a small bowl of vanilla ice cream that they sheared, Natasha was going to make chocolate brownies but Bucky insisted on ice cream given that it was Steve's favourite.

After all the courses were done Bucky got up and walked over to a stereo that he'd had placed there prior to the meal. He put on an old tune that he used to play with all the dames he convinced to dance with him. He pulled Steve up.

"Bucky you know I can't dance" Steve protested.

"That's why, tonight I'm gonna teach you." He put Steve's right hand on his shoulder and his other hand laced between his own, then he placed his metal arm carefully on Steve's waist. "Move your feet opposite to mine. Move your left then you're right, left, right, left... see you've got, next step looking into your partners eyes." Steve drew his eyes away from his feet and looked into Bucky's eyes. They slowed down a little steve started to lean in for a kiss when he stepped on Bucky's toes.

Bucky immediately stepped back "look who stepping on who now." Bucky laughed

"I'm sorry." Steve said with a small smile

"Up until the toe stepping, you were doing well." Bucky said, taking Steve back into his arms and passionately kissing him.

When they broke apart Steve smiled and said "not bad for a first date."

A few nights later Steve was out called out on an emergency mission. It was supposed to be his night off but everyone else was out he was on his way to Switzerland to shut down a hydra base they'd just discovered, Bucky had told Steve to wait for another one of the avengers to help him out but Steve had insisted it wouldn't be a problem and went alone.

As it got later Bucky got tired and decided to go to bed, after all Steve had said not to wait up. eventually Bucky drifted off into a deep sleep. Eventually blackness turned into a scene where he was the winter soldier again, holding a gun to a man's head. In a deep voice he said "tell me what you know."

"Please I don't know anything, please I have a family" the man pleaded

"TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW" the winter soldier shouted at him, he then pushed the man down to the ground.

"please I don't know please don't kill me." The man continued to beg

"Begging for your life won't make a FUCKING DIFFRENCE!" the winter soldier started off as quiet as a whisper but then shouted the end of the sentence. There was a loud bang from the gun and the man flopped to the floor.

Bucky shoot up from the bed and let out a small yell. Beads of sweat rolled down the back of his neck. He looked down to see why he hadn't woken up Steve only to see that he was alone. Bucky got up and went into the living space, it was empty to. Light streamed into the apartment it was early the next morning. Confused, Bucky immediately ran over to the elevator and strait down to Tony's level. When the doors opened he went over to Tony's main desk with worry all over his face.

"Oh hey tripod, what the matter with..." Tony started

"Tony, has Steve come back from his mission yet." Bucky said in a rush.

"Steve went on a mission? With who?" Tony stood up

"No one he went alone." Bucky panicked

"Sir, Natasha requests that you and Mr Barns come up to the main level, she says she has some information you need to hear about Captain Rogers." JARVIS said for the ceiling.

They both came into the main level "Natasha what you got." Tony said first.

Natasha turned around to the TV screen behind and pressed play. Steve was in the centre of the screen, blood trickling down the side of his face, a bruise forming underneath his eyes and too many cuts to count, even his uniform was ripped. It broke Bucky's hart to look at Steve this way. He looked worse than how Bucky left him after the take down of S.H.I.E.L.D. A voice come over the top of the video.

" _if you want your precious Captain America back you give up on trying to take down of Hydra. Well give you 24 hours to give up your plans for invading our Russian base and announce to the public that you're giving up or we'll kill the Captain."_

The screen when blank. All went silent and Bucky sunk to his knees.

Author's notes: **I finished this chapter hours ago but forgot to upload it. I had wished the first date had been better but I still enjoyed writing it. Hope you like it. Thank you candi for your awesome reviews. I'll start writing the next chapter as soon as possible sorry about the cliff hanger I know how much you guys love those ;)**


	7. rescue mission Chapter 7

Panic was making Bucky's head spin.

Around him Natasha and Tony immediately started planning a rescue mission but Bucky just sat there in shock.

"Here's what we do," Tony began "we head to Switzerland and find Steve's location from his tracker that is in his belt, Hydra won't have taken it out, I made it so its untraceable even Steve doesn't know about it. We storm in there take back our stuff and leave." Tony leaned back pleased with the plan he had just created.

"Sound good I'll get my stuff" Natasha said moving towards the exit.

"Wait, you can't" was the first thing Bucky said. Both Natasha and Tony looked at him is surprise.

"What do you mean we can't, that's Steve they've got, did you not see the video? Their gonna kill him" Tony narrowed eyebrows

"I know their gonna kill him, I also know hydra like the back of my right hand. They will be watching all the avengers and listening to all our phone calls for any sight of a rescue. Tony you need to call pepper and get her to set up an emergency press conference for close to the end of the time limit but instead of announcing that we're giving up the chase, tell them something different but make it look like that's what your gonna do. Natasha I need you to be in the control room and see if you can hack the security footage of the base where Steve's being held." Bucky said in a very serious voice,

"What are you gonna do?" Natasha asked.

"I'm going to Switzerland." Bucky began to walk to get his old winter soldier suit when a voice called him back.

"Your gonna go alone? Look how that turned out for Steve." Tony said pointing to the screen that had Steve's beaten face on. Bucky flinched at the sight of Steve's face.

"I know that Hydra base inside out, I'll have an advantage that Steve didn't and I can't just sit here and do nothing." Bucky left and got changed, then he went to meet Tony so he could he arm himself with several guns and knives.

Once Bucky was ready to go, he went down to the garage and got into one of Tony's cars less conspicuous cars. He then drove a short distance away from stark tower, where a jet was waiting for him to arrive so it could take him to Switzerland.

Due to the jet being one of the latest models, it was fast and they were approaching Switzerland in just a couple of hours. When the pilot said they wear nearing the base, Bucky opened the back and looked out over the snow covered mountains that Bucky recognised as the base it was deep into the mountain so couldn't be seen from above. "Natasha are you in?" Bucky asked into the microphone on his wrist.

" _yep, I have visual on Steve he's being held in the in a secure room in the centre of the base surrounded by what seems like a whole army."_ Natasha said into Bucky's ear.

"I'm going in" Bucky strapped on a parashoot and jumped towards the snowy mountain. The wind rushed passed Bucky's face and he was flung up when the parashoot was released. As soon as his feet hit the ground he unclipped it and let it fall to the ground. He ran straight forward where he knew there would be an entrance into the facility. Just as he remembered there was a hidden door that was covered in snow, he wiped the snow away and used his left arm to prise the door open.

" _Guard on your left."_ Natasha told Bucky. Bucky turned left and threw a knife at guard then carried on down the dark hallway going deeper and deeper into the mountain, silently taking out all the Hydra guards Natasha warned him about. As he neared where Steve was being kept the amount of guards increased.

When Natasha warned him about a guard coming around the corner, Bucky reached around to grab another knife but he had none left. The man came around the corner and saw Bucky. Lifting the gun and aiming at Bucky's hart when the bullet was released Bucky moved as fast as he could but not fast enough pain sliced through Bucky's side as he moved forward, pushed the gun up to face the ceiling and punching the guard in the gut then kneed him in the face.

Bucky jumped out the way of another bullet and kicked a man who from the force of the kick went flying back taking out two other guards that were running towards him. He moved forward taking out a gun from his side pocket and when he walked into a large room shot three Hydra men and they all feel to the ground. Moving swiftly on, shooting guards left, right and centre.

Eventually, he went through a door and into a room that had a big glass window separating the room in two, behind the glass Steve was in the centre tied to a chair, he looked worse. More bruises and cuts. He pulled the gun that was strapped to his back and started shooting at the glass trying to smash it but it only left bullet indents. Steve didn't flinch at the sound he just sat the almost lifeless.

There was a door on the right side but it needed a code. Bucky started looking to see if he could over ride the system when there was a beeping noise and the door slid open.

" _your welcome."_ Natasha said over the radio.

Bucky ran into the glass room "Steve" he placed his fingers on Steve's neck and sighed in relief when he felt a pulse. "He's unconscious but alive" Bucky said to Natasha. "Are we clear to leave?"

" _If you leave the way you came, you'll be okay, don't forget to place the bomb charges."_ Natasha said.

Bucky ripped the rope holding Steve in place, he then lifted Steve over his shoulder and left the glass room. Just as he was about to leave he took out a small packet from one of his many pockets and placed it on the floor and presses a small red button and a countdown began.

Running through the corridors from which he came jumping over bodies and picking up the knives he throw. He left the facility through the door that he come in through and went to meet the jet at the rendezvous point. They were up in the air in seconds and then there was a loud boom from the Hydra base blowing up behind them.

Bucky lay Steve on the floor and started looking over Steve's body for any major injuries. As Bucky was looking a wound that was on Steve's lower stomach his eyes fluttered open.

"I had them the ropes." Steve voice sounded strained but still sounded like Steve.

"I told you to wait for back up, you punk" Bucky said as he fought to hold back tears. Steve raised a hand and placed it onto Bucky's cheek.

"I'm sorry." His word slurred into one, he let his arm fall down as it took a lot of energy to keep it there, "I'm really tired."

"I know Stevie, I think it would be best if you try and stay awake tho." Bucky said pulling Steve's body into his arms. They lay there for about an hour until Steve just couldn't keep his eyes open.

When they arrived at the hospital they took Steve out Bucky's arms but Bucky kept on insisting on having his eyes on Steve the whole time. After what seemed like a centaury the doctors had done all they could do and allowed Bucky to sit next to Steve's bed. It wasn't until he sat down and took Steve's hand that he realised the pain jabbing at his side. He'd been so worried about Steve that he'd forgotten about being shot. A nurse come over she was a little sceptical and kept shooting worried glances at Bucky's metal arm.

"why don't you let me to stitch that wound up for you?" she said in a light tone.

Bucky nodded. She then pulled up a table and started reading her needle. To distract himself he looked over at Steve who looked so peaceful. When the nurse was done she looked up at Bucky and smiled sweetly at him. "All done" and with that she packed up and when she was leaving Bucky just whispered "thank you."

Steve woke up 20 minutes later.

"Bucky? Where am I?" Steve started to sit up but stopped when the movement caused too much pain.

"You're in the hospital, your okay. Mostly just cuts and bruises." Bucky sighed. "Steve, don't you _ever_ do that to me again," he shook his head and squeezed Steve's hand "I thought I'd lost you. Again." He didn't realise he was crying.

"I'm sorry, I really thought I'd would be okay. I don't know what happened one minute I was throwing my shield and taking out two guys the next I was tied to a chair and bleeding..." he wiped away Bucky's tears. "I'm so sorry."

"as long as your safe now." Bucky said composing himself. "All I could think about was what would I do without you, I have nothing left but you." He looked into Steve's eyes and whispered "I love you punk."

Steve smiled at Bucky "I love you too jerk." Bucky was going to lean in to kiss Steve but a doctor walked in and Bucky leaned back on his chair and winked at Steve instead.

The next day Steve was discharged Bucky had not left his side since finding him in the glass cell. He helped Steve up and led him out of the hospital doors. There wear cameras everywhere all trying to snap a picture of the injured Steve. When they finally broke through the paparazzi, Bucky saw the car Tony had sent to take them back to stark tower.

When in the safety of the back of the car, Bucky leaned in and kissed Steve. They didn't stop kissing until they pulled up outside Stark tower.

"you are such an idiot Rogers." Natasha said as soon as Steve came into the main level.

"It's good to see you to Nat." He said as she gave him a quick hug.

"I hope you've been really hard on him and told him off for being so reckless." Natasha said to Bucky.

Bucky just laughed.

"Well I think it's time to go back to the decision of weather to make tripod one of the avengers, now that we know he can handle himself out there." Tony spoke up from the corner. "well, other than being shoot." Tony smiled.

They all moved to the sofas. "You know what? I'll do it, if you want me to be part of the avengers I will but on one condition." Bucky said to the group, everyone waited for Bucky to carry on, he looked over at Steve and said "I'm working with Steve no one else. I might have a hart attach if what we just went through happens again."

The group erupted into laughter, except Steve who blushed a violent shade of red but that just made everyone laugh harder.

Their laughter was interrupted when the phone started ringing Tony got up and picked up the phone. "Hello?" tony paused to let the other person talk then said "yeah he's here hang on, Capsical it for you."

Confused on who it could be, Steve pushed himself up and took the phone of Tony. "This is Steve Rogers..."

The group carried on talking until Steve was done on the phone. He came and sat down on the sofa next to Bucky. "Who was it?" Bucky asked.

"Some lady wants to interview me about what happened on TV tomorrow." Steve said

"what did you say?" Clint asked immediately.

"I didn't want to be rude." Steve said in a quiet voice. "so, I said I'd do it"

"you'll be grate don't worry about it." Bucky reassured Steve. They lightly kissed while Natasha took a sneaky photo. For the rest of the night they talked about some good answers for Steve to say at the interview tomorrow.

Author's notes: **so this chapter was so fun to write. I've been waiting to write this chapter since I start of this fanfic hope you like it. I found it quite hard to write an action scene as there's always so much going on. Thank you for all your reviews and any ideas you guys have I'd love to hear them :)**


	8. nightmare interview Chapter 8

It was the morning of the interview and Steve had gotten the jitters, the last time he had done an interview or something in front of the public had been on his Captain America tour and all his movies. It had been so long and so much had changed since then. As much as Bucky tried to reassure him, Steve still worried that he would mess up or say something he wasn't meant to.

"Do you want me to come with you? I'll just stand backstage if you want." Bucky offered. He was cooking breakfast with Steve's observation.

Steve looked up as he thought about Bucky's offer. "Why not? It might be nice to have someone there I know." He walked up behind Bucky and slid his arms around his back and rested his head on Bucky's shoulder. "I love you" Steve said in a little baby voice.

"Stevie, I love you too but I think I'm burning this pancake." Bucky said, Steve let go and allowed Bucky to flip the pancake. It was a little browner than they had hoped but still a good effort. Bucky and Steve ate in silence.

When both had finished their breakfast Steve went to change. He put on a dark blue t-shirt, baggy jeans and a hoodie. When he came back out his room Bucky raised his eyebrows "your gonna wear that?"

Steve rolled his eyes and said "what should I wear then?"

"Your Captain America uniform?" Bucky suggested.

"It was cut off when I was in the hospital." Steve shrugged

"you're telling me that your Captain America and you don't have a spear suit?" Bucky let out a little laugh

Steve smiled at the ground. "I'll go change."

The interviewer was a lady called Susan McCurry, when Steve walked into the studio in his modern dark blue uniform Susan polity greeted Steve and Bucky, offered them a drink then got straight down to business.

"Will James be joining you in the interview today Captain Rogers?" Susan asked in a strong British accent. She was wearing a fitted red suit, black heels with red sole. She had her face completely covered in make up and she had blood red lip stick on.

"No I'm not," Bucky waved his right hand out in front of him "I'm just here to watch."

Susan nodded "okay then, shall we get set up? We'll be live in approximately 10 minutes."

She led the way to an open space with only a sofa in the centre and cameras all pointing toward it. Susan sat down a made herself comfortable. "Please, sit down," she gestured to the sofa. "Can we get some make up over here?" She called out not taking her eyes of Steve. A small woman scurried over to Steve and started dabbing him with a makeup sponge. "Not too much I want the bruises to be seen." Steve glanced over to Bucky who just shrugged and mouthed 'just go with it' at him.

"4 minutes till we go live Miss McCurry" one of the cameramen said to Susan, she gave a single nod.

"So I'm gonna start off asking questions about your capture and we'll see where we end up. Keep talking if you start running out of things to say just give me a little nod and ill move it along if we lose the flow a little I'll take us to a commercial break. All sound good to you?" Susan spoke so fast, Steve could barely keep up. Confused, Steve just nodded and pretended to understand.

"1 minute." The cameraman said again.

Susan took a deep breath. "Okay, just relax, smile and answer my question in as much detail as you can. Good luck." Susan gave a quick smile then turned towards the camera.

The cameraman looked down at his watch and said "And we're live in 5... 4... 3... 2..." he then pointed a finger a Susan.

"Hello and welcome to the McCurry show, I have a very special guest on my show today talking about his recent kidnap and how he got out, Captain America is with here on _my_ sofa. Wonderful to have you here Captain." She grinned broadly.

"Thank you," Steve smiled back at her.

Susan's first question was "So what happened in Switzerland?"

Steve said the answer he had planned with the avengers the night before, "well, I got a notices saying that a secret facility had been found, so I took it upon myself to go to Switzerland and shut it down. When I arrived there was just too many Guard and I was over powered and captured."

"What did you think about while you were captured" Susan asked

"I wasn't there for very long and I was unconscious for most of it but when I was awake I was trying to plan an escape and um..." Steve was going to say he was thinking about Bucky but he stopped himself instead he gave a subtle nod to Susan.

"Let's talk about your rescue, who was on the team?" Susan pushed on.

"A member of the avengers came and entered the base, rescued me then took me to the hospital." Steve answered

"Which avenger?" Susan asked with a curious look on her face.

"I'd rather not say." Steve shook his head.

Susan narrowed her eyes, "wouldn't you want your saviour to get some credit for saving your life?"

Steve's eyes flickered over to Bucky, who smiled at him and have him a little nod. "The avenger who saved my life is my old friend James Barns. He had recently become a part of the Avengers team."

Susan smiled "This is the same James Barnes who was working for Hydra, the man they call the winter soldier." She looked into the camera "For those of you who don't know the winter soldier was an assassin who worked for Hydra and is confirmed to have taken out 24 hits in the past 50 years."

Steve looked a Bucky who had pure horror written all over his face. He had to do something. "Susan you're telling the wrong story."

"What story should I be telling?" Susan smiled this was obviously the story she'd been hoping for.

"Every crime committed by the winter soldier had two victims; the one in front of the gun and the one behind it. Hydra tortured my friend and took his memories from him. Everything the winter soldier did was someone else and I'm lucky to have my friend back, if you want to brand him a criminal go ahead but before you make any wild accusations, I suggest you do your research a little better because you don't the whole story." Steve said calmly

"well, I'm sure there's still a lot we don't know about your friends past. However, we do know that you are currently very close with him aren't you?" Susan tilted her head to the side. "I'm talking about the night you two spent on the roof of stark tower days before your kidnap. Could we get the picture up please?" On the screen behind Steve's head a picture popped up of Bucky and Steve kissing on the roof of stark tower, the picture was from their first date and judging by the angle it was take from the building directly across from Stark tower.

"I think this interview is over." Steve got up and started heading for the exit.

From behind him he could hear Susan saying to the camera "were just going to have a short break and we'll be back very soon." Steve heard Susan chasing after him.

Steve turned around and looked at Bucky who had been following him. "I feel like such an idiot." Steve pressed his finger and thumb to the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Captain Rogers I just wanted to..." Susan started having eventually caught up.

"You just wanted to what? Apologise? It's a little late for that. We were keeping this quiet until we were ready to tell everyone and now you forced us to go public with this. How would you like it." Steve didn't shout he just spoke in a quiet voice. "I came to talk about the events that occurred in Switzerland that's what I did and now I'm done. Good bye Miss McCurry, I don't imagine well be seeing each other again." Without another word both Steve and Bucky left the studio out the back and straight into the car, leaving for Stark tower.

"What a bitch." Natasha said when Steve entered his level. The avengers who weren't on patrols had come down to Steve's level for moral support.

Steve hadn't said a word since leaving the studio, Bucky kept telling Steve that I wasn't that bad But Bucky could see it in Steve's eye he didn't believe it. Without a word Steve just walked into his room and closed the door.

Natasha, Clint, Thor and Sam all looked at Bucky. "What?"

"Dude, you have to go talk to him." Clint said shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head. Natasha nodded in agreement.

"I've been trying since we left the studio." Bucky explained.

"I'll go if you want" Sam offered.

Bucky just looked at Sam and said "no I'll do it. He is _my_ boyfriend after all." He narrowed his eyebrows at Sam when he said _my_ boyfriend. He then left to go and talk to Steve.

He walked into Steve's room, he looked at the bed but Steve wasn't on the there. Bucky got down on his knees and looked underneath the bed where he saw Steve scrunched up on the floor. Steve usually hid when he was sad, he said it allowed him time to think but it always scared the shit out of Bucky when he couldn't find Steve because he would just assume the worst. When Steve found out that his father has died in the war he hid under his stairs cupboard for over 5 hours before Steve's mother, Sarah found him all puffy eyed. Then when he found out his mother dies tuberculosis. Bucky couldn't find Steve for 14 hours, it was one of the most the scarcest time of Bucky's life.

"Stevie..." Bucky whispered.

"Go away Buck." Steve muttered.

"Nope." Bucky moved under the bed with Steve. "I am going to lay here with you until you are ready because no matter how much you protest years ago I made you a promise. I said that I was with you till the end of the line and I meant it. So suck it up princess, I'm here to stay."

Steve tried keeping in his giggles but just ended up snorting. When Steve was all laughed out he turned to Bucky and said "I never asked you were."

"What do you mean me?" Bucky said looking back at Steve.

"when Susan started saying those things about your past, I saw your face."

"You know what? I could not be more proud of you, the way you stood up for me just reminded me of..." Bucky was interrupted by Steve

"reminded you of how I'm every bit of Captain America. I know." Steve said looking back at the bed.

"No, reminded me of how you're every bite of Steve Rogers, that tiny little punk who was too stupid to run away from a fight." Steve smiled at Bucky's word. They both lay on their backs looking up at the bed, not saying a word for several hours until the door swung open and Sam walked in.

"Steve? Bucky? Are you in here?"

"go away pigeon." Bucky said sticking his head out from under the bed "me and _my_ boyfriend are good here."

Sam pulled a confused face and walked back out and shut the door.

"What was that about?" Steve question Bucky's tone.

"It's irritating me that he's always trying to be there for you when it should be me being the one taking caring of my little Stevie." Bucky protested.

"Firstly, I'm taller than you so you can't call me little Stevie anymore and secondly, are you jealous?" Steve said turning his head towards Bucky's.

"I am not jealous!" Bucky protested again.

"Whatever." Steve pulled himself out from under the bed and Bucky did the same. "Let's go see what damage is." the two men held hands and walked out the room together. "so Natasha what are people saying about my interview?"

"Believe it or not, your interview has had the complete opposite effect to what we thought would happen. People everywhere are calling you the cutest couple ever and that they are never going to watch that McCurry show again. Oh and I posted those pictures of the two of you being just an adorable couple and they went viral in a matter of minutes. #stuckyforlife they've been tweeting." Natasha smiled at Steve, who just looked at Bucky and sight in relief.

"that's the best news I've heard all day." Steve said.

"Nothing to fear, Steve son of Rogers." Thor nodded in approval of the news.

Bucky and Steve sat down on the sofa reading through hundreds of tweets. It made Steve feel a lot better about the interview.

Author's notes: **I liked this chapter because it I think it showed that Steve can still stand up or Bucky but also shows his vulnerability. Hope you all like it as much I liked writing it. I'll see if I can post another chapter soon but I have work on Monday so I'm not sure if I'll get a chapter up until Tuesday. Soo happy reading and ill post as soon as I can :)**


	9. a little privacy please Chapter 9

Bucky was so proud of himself. He had managed to cook an entire meal almost all by himself. Steve had helped him out slightly, mostly just to check he was doing it right. What Bucky was most proud of was that none of the avengers got food poisoning he was still working on the meal actually being tasty but it was a working progress.

Once all the avengers had dispersed in search of food that actually delivered to their appetites, Bucky began cleaning up the plates. He constantly forgot about the dish washer and cleaned everything by hand and as he washed, Steve dried. They worked as good team. When everything was done Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve and started kissing his neck. Bucky pushed Steve up against the counter. Steve let out a small groan then fumbled for Bucky's jumper zip. Steve felt like electricity was pulsing through him. Bucky moved his hands up through Steve's Hair and the only sound was the buzz of Bucky's arm. Without breaking apart for a single second they both moved together in the main room where they fell onto the sofa. Steve lifted up Bucky's shirt a carefully moved it over his shoulder to make sure the fabric didn't rip. Steve's shirt was easy to remove. Bucky slid his hand over Steve's soft torso.

"Wow, this is hawkward." Said the familiar voice of Clint Barton.

"Oh my god" Steve said as he sat up normally on the sofa and Bucky did the same. "We need a rule, where people can't enter other people's levels without asking first."Steve leaned his head back and closed his eyes like he was dealing with a group of children.

"What's up Clint." Bucky said putting his arm around Steve.

Clint took off quiver and put down his bow, sat in front of the sofa and said "It wasn't long ago that I realised... that um... that i... um... look guys can you put your shirts back on I'm having a really hard time focusing here, you guys are _ridiculously_ in shape." Clint waved his hands out in front of him. "Specimens"

Both Steve and Bucky slipped back into their shirts. "What's on your mind, Clint?" Bucky asked

"Right as I was saying, it wasn't long ago that I realised that I think I might have feelings for Natasha but I don't know how to go about telling her about said feeling." Clint confessed

"Why don't you ask Tony or Thor they're in relationships." Steve said seeming very fed up.

"Yeah but you two are the most successful relationship in this house."Clint shrugged. "So what do I do?"

"Just pluck up enough courage and tell her." Steve said. Bucky could tell he was eager for Clint to leave so they'd get to resume what they had put on pause.

"Ignore Steve he gets short tempered when cuddle time is cut short." Bucky smiled

"Watch it Bucky." Steve warned.

"My point proven. Yes, in a way Steve's right you do need to grow some confidence but try planning a date that's personal to Nat. You get what I mean?"

Clint started nodding then pulled a very confused face took a deep breath, "no."

"He saying, do something that you know she'll love. Be who she wants you to be and sometimes that means being yourself." Steve said in the least enthusiastic voice he could muster.

Clint got up. "Thank you Stucky for your help. Steve never thought you knew Natasha so well, I'll allow you to get back to... you know" as the elevator doors closes Clint said "Bye"

"Bye Clint" Bucky tuned to look back at Steve who'd already taken of his shirt and was pulling Buckys off when the elevator doors opened again.

"CLINT!" Steve shouted as Clint ran back into the room.

"I forgot my bow and arrows, Bye. Again."

Later that night, Bucky and Steve were both fast asleep next to each other in Steve's room. As Bucky drifted deeper into the blackness a familiar scene appeared in front of his eyes. Recently Bucky had been having this recurring dream that same dream he'd had before Steve's capture.

He was the winter soldier just like last time and in the same deep voice "tell me what you know."

"Please I don't know anything, please I have a family" the man pleaded.

"TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW" the winter soldier shouted at him, he then pushed the man down to the ground.

"please I don't know, please don't kill me." The man continued to beg

"Begging for your life won't make a FUCKING DIFFRENCE!" no matter how many times he watches that dream he always wake up at the sound of the gunshot.

"NO" Bucky jolted awake while calling out. Violent sobs erupted from within him. It scares him that he was once that person and that deep down he could still be there. Steve took Bucky into a hug and waited for the sobs to finish.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Steve offered to Bucky. Bucky started shaking his head no. He just pulled Steve closer and for the duration of the night they lay in each other's arms letting the buzz of Bucky's arm calm them.

When it was time to get they up both changed into their uniform it was their morning for patrol. They went to get breakfast, gluten free waffles at Tony's recommendation he said they were worth remembering.

Mid-way through breakfast JARVIS' voice came from the ceiling "Captain Rogers, Mr Stark is ready to brief you for your mission."

"Tell him were on our way." Steve said to JARVIS.

When they arrived into the communications level Tony was standing there with a mission plan on the screen behind. After a short brief they were up in the air in one of Tony's jets. Heading towards a ship that was in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

"We're close to the ship get ready." Steve opened the back door and wind rushed past the two of them. Steve move forward and was about to jump out the jet.

"Don't you even think about jumping out this jet without a parashoot." Bucky said in a serious voice.

"Buck, I don't need one." Steve shot back at Bucky.

"Oh really just like how you didn't need back up when you sped of Switzerland." Bucky raised his eyebrows and Steve put his arms through the straps of the parashoot.

Authors notes: **this is a short chapter but I did enjoy Clint's roll in this chapter. You see I thing Clint and Natasha are a better together. (Spoiler: don't read on unless you've seen age of Ultron) I don't like that Clint's married I would have preferred Clintasha. The reason why this is a short chapter but I haope you like it :)**


	10. every couple have arguments Chapter 10

_Steve fell to the floor. Pain shooting through his left jaw but it doesn't matter how much pain he was in he got up and raised his fists once more. There were three big boys in front of him and then a fourth boy who was just off the side watching, he looked like he was having an argument with himself internally. The bigger boy in the centre swung his hand for another punch, Steve leaned back and barely missed the flying fist but then the other two boys grabbed his arms and held him still while the bigger boy readjusted his stance then punched Steve in the gut. He pulled back his arm for another hit when the fourth boy jumped in front of Steve._

" _I think that enough, the kids learnt his lesson." The boy said._

 _The bigger boy peered around the fourth, "have you learnt your lesson now wimpy Steve? Are you ready to give up?"_

 _Steve just looked up and said "I could do this all day." In a croaky voice._

" _You heard the man James, move out the way so I tell this puny creature who his superiors are." He raised his hand ready to punch "move, James."_

" _No" James said to the bully. The bully let his hand come down and punched James in the face. The force of the blow pushed James back, he then swiped his foot and knocked the bullies legs out from underneath him. When they both got back to their feet James punched the bullies face and blood started streaming out of his noise._

" _Come on guys lets go. You'll pay for this Barns." The three bullies and left when they were out of sight James spun round and went to Steve's side. He pulled Steve up and put his arm around his waist and allowed Steve to rest his weight on him as they limped to James' house, which was nearby. James helped Steve onto the kitchen chair and then went to get a bowl of water and gave Steve a tissues which he held to his nose as it was bleeding quite a bit._

" _I'm sorry this happened to you." James said holding some frozen peas on Steve's check bone. "I should have said something sooner. I just stood there for too long letting them punch you like that"_

" _Thank you for helping me." Steve said "my mum says I have a problem with backing down from an argument" Steve smirked a little and shrugged. "you should get an ice pack on your eye, It looks like it gonna bruise."_

" _it's fine. What's your name?" James said reflecting Steve smile back at him._

" _Steven Grant Rogers." Steve said with a proud smile. "What about you? What's your name?"_

" _James Buchannan Barns." He held out his hand "it's nice to meet you."_

 _Steve took James' hand "it's nice to meet you too"_

After the tough mission they were both too shattered to cook so they order pizza for lunch. They sat at the kitchen table eating their pizza but Bucky was miles away, he hadn't said a word since the pizza arrived, "buck?" Bucky didn't answer "BUCKY!" Steve shouted. Bucky's eyes focused on Steve "I've had better convocations with a wall." Steve said taking a bit out of his pizza.

"Had many conversations with the walls recently?" Bucky said in a jokey voice.

"If you include JARVIS then yeah." Steve took another bite of pizza. Bucky smailed at Steve, "I love it when you smile, I love it when you laugh and I love you." Bucky stoped smiling and looked town at the pizza slice in his hands, "Are you okay"

Bucky shoved some food in his mouth in attempt to avoid the question but when he looked up at Steve and saw him looking at him like he would do anything for him, Bucky just put down the pizza leaned back in his char.

"You know I once killed a boy in front of his parents." Bucky said. Steve choked on his food.

"What?" Steve said in between coughs.

"Also I once killed a lady because she got to close to finding the truth about Hydra."

"Bucky..." Steve said in a sympathetic voice.

"I broke into a bank killed 3 people, 2 were police officers to steal a memory stick."

"Bucky, stop..." Steve said in a small voice.

Bucky continued with a straight face. "I shot Natasha because she was protecting covering my target."

"Bucky please stop..." tears were filling Steve eyes.

"I killed a man who kept interfering with hydras plans and he wouldn't tell me what he knew about hydra so I shot him and I also..." Steve's shout interrupted him.

"BUCKY STOP!" there was no stopping the flow of tears that wear running down Stave's checks.

Bucky pushed back his chair and stood up "does my past bother you?" he said in a quiet, calm voice.

"I have told you countless times that I understand what happened to you, I have repeated to you that I accept every detail of who you are. When you came back to me you can't understand what I felt. For so long I have blamed myself for what happened to you on that train, blame myself for letting you fall. I have stood by your side. And defended you when people said you wear a traitor. So don't you _dear_ ask me if your past BOTHERS me because you know full well that it doesn't." Steve said in a raised voice, he began to head out the door when Bucky grabbed his arm and spun him round to look at him. Steve tugged his arm out of Bucky's grip.

"I just don't want you to forget who I was," Bucky said wiping away Steve's tears. "I don't want you to get hurt."

Steve held Bucky's wrist and pulled it away from his face which was full of hurt and whispered, "too late." he turned around and left the kitchen. Bucky stood frozen thinking over what had just happened. He had let his emotions take over him and when he realized what an idiot been he ran out into the main room only to see the elevator doors close. Steve had left the apartment.

Wind rushed past Bucky's face as he ran down the emergency fire stair way. No way would he out run the elevator but when it came to Steve, Bucky would do _anything_ for him. When he arrived in the lobby Steve was nowhere to be seen he ran out the front doors. Desperately searching for Steve or an idea on which way he want.

Where would Steve go? Where does Steve feel the safest? He went back into stark tower and up to Natasha's level.

"Natasha, is Steve here?" Bucky said waltzing straight into her level without warning.

"Whoa Bucky what's going on?" Natasha said when she saw Bucky's face.

"Steve and I had an argument and I can't work out where he would have gone." Bucky had never had to deal with Steve's anger, before the war Steve took out his anger with every punch he took from the bullies in back alleys and now when Steve's angry he channels his emotions into his missions.

"You need to let him cool off." Clint said coming up behind Natasha. "That's what we do when Steve's having a grumpy day." Clint said throwing his arm around Natasha's shoulders. She pushed his arm away.

"Look at Bucky's face I think it's a little more than a grumpy day," she turned back to Bucky. "But Clint's right I think you need to wait until Steve comes home on his own, might take the pressure off him."

As much as he hated waiting, he followed Natasha's advice and waited for Steve to make his own way home. Bucky sat on the floor leaning agents the wall next to the elevator and waited. And waited. And waited. The sun began to fall and still no sign that Steve was coming back.

Steve didn't really have a safe place other than in Bucky's arms. Steve had been wandering the streets with a hat and hoodie on so people wouldn't know who he was. It wasn't the best disguise but it would do. He was heading back to stark tower after coming to the conclusion he had to talk to Bucky but had no idea what he was going to say when he saw him, Steve always lost his words when he looked into his beautiful eyes.

Steve walked back into stark tower and trudged into the elevator, forcefully pressed the button. The lift journey seemed to take forever and when the doors opened he saw Bucky lying on the floor, eyes closed and breathing evenly. The sound of the doors closing woke Bucky. When he saw Steve he got up and stepped closer to Steve saying "Steve I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say those things" Bucky eyes filled with tears just like Steve had. "I'm sorry I hurt you and questioned you..."

Steve closed the gap between him and Bucky by taking him into a hug and pushed his face into Bucky's neck. "Every couple have arguments" Steve looked up "ours just include you telling me about all the missions you carried out." Steve gave a little laugh. "You see I don't care what you did, because when I left this apartment I didn't know where to go. I just wanted to go somewhere safe and quiet and be with someone I cared about and I realized the only place I want to be is here, with you."

Bucky smiled through the tears "I am sorry."

"Oh I know you are, and trust me when I say you will pay for making me angry. You know I don't like it when I shout." Steve said pulling away smiling at Bucky.

"What are you gonna do?" Bucky said

"You're sleeping on the sofa tonight." Steve said smiling and walking into his room "sleep tight" he closed the door, leaving Bucky standing there feeling the loss of Steve's company tonight.

Bucky took a pillow and a blanket from the cupboard and lay down on the sofa. Just like every other night he started to have the nightmare that had been reoccurring almost every night, just like last time the man was on the floor begging for his life when the winter soldier shot him. He usually woke up at the gunshot but this time was different, there was more. A woman had heard the gunshot and came into the room when she saw the winter soldier she let out an ear pitching scream and before she could even finish the winter soldier shot her to. He then staged a car accident to make sure nothing could be lead back to him or hydra.

Bucky sat up and buried his face in his hands. He sat like that for a few minutes wishing Steve was here to sooth him. Bucky promised himself never to get on Steve's bad side again because this night was going to be a long one without Steve's warmth next to him. He looked longingly over at Steve's door.

Steve lay awake on his bed looking up at the ceiling, regretting making Bucky sleep on the sofa. No matter how many sheep Steve counted sleep would not come sooner. Fed up, Steve slid his feet off the bed and headed over to the door, he slowly opened the door trying not to make too much sound. When he opened the door Bucky stood there looking at him like a kid who's just been caught red handed for stealing the last cookie. Then when he realised what Steve was doing he started laughing.

Steve rolled his eyes "shut up." he pulled Bucky into their room and onto the bed then lay down next to him and wrapped his arms around Bucky. "I missed you."

"a) I was only gone for like 3 hours and b) I was only outside, but you know what I missed you to. I love you little Stevie." Bucky moved his metal arm under the pillow so I would be comfortable for Steve to rest his head on.

"I'm still talker than you." Steve said laying his head on the pillow covered arm and twisting his legs in Bucky's. "I love you too Bucky" they both closed their eyes and fell asleep together.

Author's notes: **Hay guys, so this chapter was completely different from the others hope you like it. Thank you for reviewing I appreciate it. If you have any ideas I'd love to hear them. I shall try and post another chapter soon :)**


	11. The truth Chapter 11

It was their night off, so Steve and Bucky decided it was date night. They had reservations for a very fancy restaurant that pepper had recommended. They arrived at the restaurant, everything about it said class. There had a man who opened the door and even a woman who sat at a piano playing a calm melody for all the guests to listen to. They waited to be seated when a young lady came over to Steve with a clip board but when she saw his face her jaw dropped.

"Hello I have a reservation under the name Rog..." Steve said in a polite tone.

"Captain Rogers. I know who you are. I'll get you a table at the back." She said with a big goofy smile on her face. As they walked over to the table a few people saw Steve and a few even pointed. They both sat down at a small dark table at the back of the restaurant and picked up the menus. "Can I get you some water Captain?" she asked practically with her back to Bucky.

"Yes please, do you want some water, Bucky?" Steve said not even looking at the waitress. Bucky nodded.

"Anything else I can do for you captain" she said in a flirty voice.

"Were fine thank you." Bucky said to the waitress who just glared at him then walked away. "Wow, she was flirting with you." Bucky said shaking his head at his menu.

"She was flirting with me?" Steve looked around to see if he could see the waitress and he saw her standing by another table writing down someone's order. "Really?" He smiled he had never got used to girls flirting with him.

"Don't get too excited" Bucky smiled "let me just remind you, you are in a relationship."

"How could I forget? But it's not like we never went out and we had girls circling us for your attention. Now you know how it feels to be me." Steve said jokey voice.

Bucky shrugged "the worst part about it though is that if you were still a small kid from Brooklyn before the serum these girls wouldn't give you a second look."

"I also wouldn't be here and nether would you." Steve looked back down at the menu. "What you gonna have?"

"Well, I don't suppose this place had burger and chips." Bucky laughed "I think I'll go with... the stake, how about you?"

"I'll have the same." The waitress came over again with the water. "Hello can we have 2 stakes please." Steve said without taking his eyes off Bucky. He took a sip of water.

"Can I interest you in anything else" she said leaning over the table to pick up the menu. "Some wine perhaps?" she said with another flirty smile.

"No I'm fine thank you. There's no point me drinking wine anyway, you want some Bucky?" the waitress looked over at Bucky like she couldn't care less.

"I'm okay." Bucky said. The waitress nodded, turned away and left. Bucky looked at Steve who was smirking at him. "What you so chipper for? This is serious; this woman just won't get the message."

"Are you annoyed because she didn't even notice you or that she's flirting with me?" Steve said still smiling.

"I've always been irritated when girls flirted with you because it always made you so shy and stupid I mean I thought you were going to burst when that agent carter came along and started flirting with you" Bucky shrugged "she annoyed me because she only had eyes for you so when I tried flirting with her in the bar to get her away from you she didn't take to me and I had to back off because I saw how happy she made you." He shrugged again "I loved it when you were happy then you when and put that picture of her in the compass, I thought to myself the closer you got to her the further you would get from me. Then there was if we both got out of the war alive you would go and have a life with her and I'll be stuck with some girl I meet in a bar."

"That would never of happened. Maybe if we both had made it to the end of the war that would not have changed that you wear my best friend." Steve said, Bucky was about to say something else when the waitress was back with their food. "Wow that was very fast."

"For you captain we can do anything." She said placing the plate carefully in front of him then just placed the plate in front of Bucky who just rolled his eyes. "enjoy." She said winking at Steve. When she had gone they started eating. It was quiet for a long time they both sat their enjoying their stakes.

Once the waitress had taken their plates and thrown a few more winks around, Steve and Bucky looked through the dessert menus. "oh my god Bucky" Steve gasped

Bucky looked up from his menu "what is it? you okay?"

"your arm it's... smoking." Steve said pointing at his arm.

"oh shoot, I have to go to Tony to fix it, he said this might happen but why now?" Bucky said waving his had to get rid of the smoke. Steve looked around for the waitress who was over to them in a flash. He asked for the bill and she was about to try and persuade them to stay when she saw Bucky's arm and scurried away to get the bill.

When back at stark tower they went to Tony's lab, Bucky's arm was still smoking a little; he'd taken of his suit jacket. When they entered the lab, Tony sat at his desk with ACDC blasting around the room, he had one of the iron man legs on the table with wires coming out of every part of it.

"mute." Steve said to JARVIS, the music stopped but tony didn't look around to see who had paused his music.

"Please don't mute my music Capsical." Tony said, he took a sniff "JARVIS, why do I smell burning?"

"Sir, I believe the smoke seems to be coming from Mr Barns' arm." JARVIS said from the ceiling. Tony spun round on his swivel chair and saw the smoking arm.

"What did you do?" Tony said gesturing Bucky to come forward. Bucky walked over to Tony's desk. Tony kicked a chair for Bucky to sit down on, Bucky propped his arm onto the desk and immediately started working on finding the source of the smoke. Steve stood behind Bucky's chair.

"I didn't do anything, we we're at dinner and it just started smoking. We didn't even get to dessert." Bucky said

"Oh how disappointing for the two of you. Ahhh look, this is what caught on fire. Please don't move." Tony said to Bucky who had tried to look at his arm but instead knocked off one of the mean tools Tony was using on his arm. "It seems to be a lose wire. Easy to fix, just give me 20 minutes and I'll be done.

The time moved slowly because there was nothing to distract him from how boring it was. At some point Tony put his music back on and to Steve and Bucky it just sounded like pointless noise. The only exciting point of the 20 minutes was when Tony moved a lose wire and it touched a different bare wire, Bucky's metal arm clenches throwing is fist up towards his shoulder and punching Tony's face on the way up. Tony fell to the floor, Bucky and Steve looked at each other in shock then Burst out in laughter. Tony got back onto his chair, stretching his face.

"That going to bruise." Was all tony said then got back down work keeping his head out of reach if the arm.

When tony was done Bucky made a fist then a flat hand. "Thank you." Bucky got up, smiled at tony who gave him a nod. Steve was heading to the elevator when Bucky saw a picture of a man, a women and a child that was on one of Tony's desks. Bucky picked up the picture frame to have a closer look.

"That's my mum and dad" tony said taking the picture out of Bucky's hands. "And that's me." Tony sighed and placed the photo back onto the desk. Bucky was confused the man in the picture didn't look like the young Howard he'd met he looked so different and yet familiar. Horror spread through Bucky's mind and judging by Tony's expression horror had made it to Bucky's face as well.

Bucky had seen the older Howard before, in a dream. Bucky moved very fast away from tony and into the elevator, Steve followed. When in the elevator doors opened into their apartment. Steve had begun to worry about what was going on. "Bucky what's wrong?" Steve asked.

"I think I killed Tony's parents." Bucky said as he looked into Steve's worried eyes.

"You couldn't have, Tony's parents died in a car crash. It was an accident." Steve said putting his hand on Bucky's shoulder. Bucky shook his head **.**

" no no no, I did it. I shot them and staged a car accident. I killed Howard because he kept messing up hydras plans, and I killed his mother because she heard the gunshot and..." Bucky began breathing harder. Steve was a little shocked at the news but had to calm Bucky down he took Bucky into a hug but Bucky pulled away. "I don't deserve to be here."

"Stop it Bucky. Don't do this again. I'm not going to bring out the whole it was Hydra speech because you probably have it memorised but you deserve to be here, you did nothing wrong." Steve said putting his hand on Bucky's face forcing him to look into his eyes. "No one deserves to be here more than you." Bucky smiled and hugged Steve.

Bucky dreamt about killing Tony's parents only this time it was so much worse because he could see tony in both his mum and dad. When Bucky awoke he didn't wake up Steve. He just got out of his bed and went to find Tony.

He found Tony in his lab when he walked in Tony hid what he was looking at and put on the computer screen saver. "Tony I have to tell you something." Bucky said looking down at his hands. "I think I ki..."

"I know what you did, you don't need to tell me. I've known since Nat took down S.H.I.E.L.D and put all of hydras secrets on the internet. My parents death was on one of the files marked asset, I figured it was you." Tony shrugged "it doesn't matter. You weren't in control, not your fault. If you hadn't done it someone else would of."

Bucky was in shock, he was expecting Tony to shout at him to get out of Stark tower. "You don't hate me?" Bucky was so confused.

"How can I hate someone who's been through so much and is trying to apologise for something that not even your fault. A few year back before iron man I was captured and tortured but that was only for three months you where brainwashed and tortured for 70 years. We should be apologising to you tripod." Tony said as he picked up a tool and started working on his iron man suit again, "Go get some sleep tripod you look like you need it." Tony said and Bucky started for the door. "Could you do me a favour though?"

Bucky turned to look at Tony "sure. What is it?"

"I had JARVIS remove the file from the internet so I would appreciate if you didn't tell people, as far as their aware my parents died in a car crash" Tony said Bucky nodded in agreement.

When Bucky got back to his bed Steve's eyes opened still half asleep "where did you go?" Steve's words slurred into one.

"outside to clear my mind." Bucky closed his eyes and for a long time Bucky got a decent night's sleep.

Authors notes: **so I thing this chapter shows Bucky getting a step closer to being Bucky. It took me a while to get around to writing this chapter I've been painting a lot and just couldn't get in the mood to write but here it is hope you enjoy it.**


	12. avenger's dinner Chapter 12

Winter was coming in fast and the streets of New York where full of people with puffy coats and knitted hats and scarf's. The days were shorter and the temperatures were colder but the crime levels were still high. The avengers were working hard on their patrols, keeping criminals at bay but they still found the time to sit down for dinner all together once a week.

Tony sat at the head of the table with Pepper sitting next to him leaning over to wipe ketchup of the edge of Tony's mouth with a napkin. Bruce was on the other side of Tony not saying a word and keeping his head down. Next to pepper was Steve who was holding hands with Bucky under the table and grinning at his food as Bucky lightly rotated his thumb skimming over Steve's skin. Thor sat at the other end or the table head stuffing his face with food, pausing to take a swig of his beer and then smashing his glass on the ground shouting "ANOTHER!". Natasha covered her face from the pieces of glass as she sat was next to Thor, Natasha sat up straight eating her food and throwing little glances at Clint who had his arm on the back of Nat's chair and then in between Bruce and Clint was Sam who was thoroughly amused by Thor's mannerisms.

"So Bucky, what was Steve like when he was younger?" Clint asked "I mean before the serum."

"He was a nightmare, always getting into fights, having asthma attacks at the weirdest moments. I always felt that if I took my eyes of him for a second when I turn back he would either be dead or gone." Bucky said looking at Steve with a content look.

 _As James was the oldest child of four he knew how to look after people but when it came to Steve it was a whole other ball game. Steve was riddled with illness so he insisted on James going off and playing with the faster boys as he didn't want him to feel left out and Steve would sit on the side lines doing James homework for him, then when James was tired of playing Steve would teach him everything he would have learnt if he did the homework._

" _Thank you for doing this for me Stevie my mama would kill me if I got bad grades." James said as he flopped down onto the grass next to Steve._

" _It's no problem." Steve said, he really had finished the homework 30 minutes ago, and he had just been doodling in a note pad his mother had given to him. He's new favourite thing to draw was James he was so easy to draw so much detail._

" _So my mama was wondering if you wanted to come round to dinner tonight." James offered, James' mum always like Steve she said he was a great influence on her little James she said she could see the difference in his attitude from miles away._

" _That would be swell. Thanks." Steve packed his things away and James gave Steve a piggy back ride all the way back to his house according to Bucky, Steve weighed lighter than a feather._

" _Hello you two," James' mum said as they walked through the front door "dinners almost ready."_

" _Hay mama." Bucky said as his mum kissed his check._

" _Hello Mrs. Barns, it's a pleasure to see you again." Steve said kindly._

" _Honestly you are the politest boy I have ever laid eyes on," Steve smiled in thanks to Mrs Barns. He took of his coat and hung it up on the peg by the door. "Oh my, Steve, I swear you get skinnier every time I see you."_

 _Mrs Barns had made a delicious stew for the family and everyone had nothing but good things to say about her cooking. Steve loved coming around the Barns' house it was so warm and crowded the complete opposite to his home. Steve loved his home he had his mother who loved him deeply but due to having his dad away in the war and no siblings he found it quite lonely. He was so grateful to have Bucky as a friend._

The sound of laughter broke Bucky away from his memory. When he looked up from his food he saw Clint wink at Natasha.

"Okay, if no one else is going to ask then I will." Tony said to them all, leaning back in his chair and looking straight at Clint and Natasha "what is going on with you two?" Natasha when a bright shade of red and Clint removed his arm from Nat's chair. "Come on you don't think we haven't noticed. I though you guys wear secret agents, even I can tell that there's something going on."

Clint looked at Natasha who just nodded, "okay. Yes, me and Tasha are dating, it happened the other week, we were both..." Clint had this big goofy smile on and so did Natasha.

"Please I don't need to know details." Tony protested

"Shut up tony, let Clint tell us how it happened." Steve objected to Tony who just sighed.

"Thank's Steve but is not much of a story." Clint shrugged. "We were out on our shift and taking down a factory that was making illegal weapons, we thought we had got them all when a guy came up behind Natasha and aimed a gun at her, I took him out before he even thought about pulling the trigger."

"I'd like to just point out that I would have got him but Clint just there first." Natasha said looking up from her hands.

"No one's questioning your skills sweetie," Clint said kissing the top of Nat's head. "but yeah I saved her life, then I don't really know who kissed who but... yeah... that was sort of it."

"Arrrr that's cute." Tony said in a sarcastic tone prompting Pepper to then elbow him in his side.

"well, I thing that it's wonderful you two finally got together, now me and Nat might be able to have a conversation that's not about Clint." The whole table stopped eating and looked at Pepper then at Natasha, Pepper realised what she said and put her hand over her mouth like she wanted to back track what she just said, "Sorry I forgot you didn't want me to tell anyone."

"Wait you told Pepper you had feelings for Clint?" Steve said with a smile, Natasha gave a shy nod "that's funny because..." Clint stated shaking his head to stop Steve from saying "... Clint came to me and Bucky on advice on how to ask you out."

"You did?" Natasha asked. Clint nodded. They both looked into each other's eyes for a long time then Natasha grabbed Clint's wrist and pulled him up from the table. "Excuse us." They both left the table and into the elevator.

"Okay then, if their leaving, I'm going to go and work in my lab" Tony said kissing Peppers check "you coming Mr Angry pants?" Bruce and Tony both left the main level together.

Pepper got up as well calming stark industries wasn't going to run itself, leaving Thor who was still stuffing his face with food, Sam who was on his phone and Steve and Bucky.

Steve leaned to Bucky and whispered into his ear "shall we go back down to our level and have a little cuddle time?" Bucky immediately lit up at the idea of being closer to Steve.

They got up excused themselves from the table like those before them and headed down in the elevator. They moved to the sofa and took each other in their arms. They were only sitting there for a short time when Steve looked over at Bucky and got up, "don't move." He then left the room leaving a puzzled Bucky on the sofa.

A few minutes later Steve returned to the main room with a sketch book and a packet of pencils which had been used to an inch of their lives. He sat down in front Bucky and looked up at Steve "you moved." Steve said tilting his head to the side. "But you still look good from this angle." Bucky allowed Steve to draw him, then Steve turned over the page.

"Are you starting again?" Bucky asked.

"No you keep moving so I'm out lining what I see then I'll add tone later." Steve was scribbling away in his book. It was relaxing watching Steve work and before he knew it Bucky's eye lids began to get heavy with sleep.

When Bucky's eyes reopened it was much darker the lights had been dimmed and he had his head resting on Steve's shoulder. "What you reading?" Bucky asked, Steve was holding a thick book with small writing, it looked new but has mark that showed it had been well read.

"A book series call harry potter. It's good, I think you should read them."Steve said showing Bucky the front cover.

"I've never been good at reading, you know that Stevie." Bucky complained as he reshuffled his head and closed his eyes once more.

"Why don't I read to you?" Steve offered and started reading out loud when Bucky nodded. Bucky was already tired and just by listening to Steve's soothing voice Bucky's began to get tired once more.

However, the book began to get quite thrilling and when it was getting into the early hours of the morning Bucky was still begging for the next chapter. But when the clock turned 2:30 Steve insisted on going to bed as he couldn't keep his eyes open long enough to read another sentence.

When they got back to their bed they slept, out of habit, in their usual position. Steve would face Bucky and curled up as small as he could go, then Bucky would sleep on his side and have an arm wrapped around Steve head bringing it closer to his chest so as to 'protect' him.

 _Bucky lay on the floor cold and missing the days when he could snuggle up to Steve's tiny body but on the other hand he was truly grateful that Steve had been rejected from the army, that skinny punk would not have lasted 2 days out in this cold. The 107_ _th devotion was sent out into enemy territories, they had picked an open area for them all to set up camp for the night and it was barely midnight when the shooting started._

 _About a hundred men came storming in the camp with guns that sent out blue puffs of some sort of magic, Bucky was quick to his feet and shooting at as many hydra men he could see. The men had almost fought of the attack when two hundred more hydra guys came flooding in and they were over run. They couldn't do anything else so they surrendered and were forced to line up and walk. Hours later they arrived at a big gate and when they walked through the gate there was a big hydra base with hundreds of hydra workers running around. The soldiers were lead down some stairs and into a room with circular cages where they were forced to squish as many people in as they could._

 _The days that followed where hard for everyone, they were forced into doing labour work for the hydra base. It wasn't until the tired soldiers were back in their cells when a hydra man came into cell room and had a look at the prisoners. When his eyes landed on Bucky he smiled._

" _I wanz zis one." The man said the guard. Bucky was taken out of his cell and taken to a separate part of the base. When he was taken into a room there was a table with restraints and straps that gave Bucky a bad feeling then he saw the needles and the surgery tools. He started to struggle but it was useless, only one thought passed through Bucky's head as the pain stated 'thank god it's me and not Steve'_

Bucky waited for his breathing to even again then pulled Steve closer and prayed that Steve would never feel the pain hydra inflicted on him. He closed his eyes again and waited for sleep.

Authors note's: **hay guys, I don't know if i like this chapter I mean its good but not as good as my others. I don't know tell me what you think. Your reviews are always appreciated. Hopefully in my next few chapters Christmas should be coming around, I know it's only august but I love Christmas and I am excited to write about what everyone gets for Christmas. Anyway enough about Christmas, enjoy the chapter and please review.**


	13. Stark Christmas do Chapter 13

It was weeks before Christmas day and Steve and Bucky had planned to spend the whole day decorating their Chrisman tree. They couldn't afford a tree before the war and Steve was really excited that they could now afford a real tree with all the decorations, due to having no family to give it to, Steve had all the money he had earned when working as Captain America, he was paid a lot when making his films then was paid like a normal soldier. Steve wanted to go all out this year, the tree, stockings, presents and mince pies. This was going to be his first real celebration of Christmas.

Bucky was sitting on the kitchen counter reading the next chapter of harry potter while Steve was cooking breakfast. Bucky had insisted on improving his reading, he wasn't terrible but not even close to Steve's abilities. It didn't take him long to get through the chapter but every now and then he got stuck on a word and have to ask Steve what it was.

When the chapter was done and breakfast was eaten, it was time to start decorating the apartment. They lay tinsel on the tree and hung little bulbuls and ornaments on the branches. Bucky hung up the stocking on the left wall above the fake fire place; they had Bucky and Steve's names in delicate stitching, Steve's was blue and Bucky's was red and the fluff at the rim was white.

Within hours their apartment was close to a winter wonderland look-alike, "I think it's too much" Bucky said stepping back to look at the apartment.

"No I think it's perfect." Steve said taking Bucky's hand.

"If you like it then I like it." Bucky said tugging Steve into a hug, they looked into each other's eyes "what's next on the list of things to do for a perfect Christmas?" Bucky asked. Steve had things he wanted from this Christmas, traditions that he did with his parents before they died, Bucky however just had one tradition for the whole family to sit down for a deliciously cooked dinner but he would settle for his new family. The Avengers.

"Cookies!" Steve face lit up with the most adorable smile Bucky had ever seen he looked like a little child. Steve got out all the ingredients and they both weighed them out, when Bucky started mixing, the flour puffed out into his face and when Steve saw Bucky who looked like a ghost he had to hold his chest because he was laughing so hard. Finally the cookie dough was ready and whenever Steve wasn't looking Bucky shoved little lumps of raw dough in his mouth.

While the cookies were in the oven, Steve jumped onto the counter and pulled Bucky close and kissed him, slipping his hands through his hair. Finally the beeper when off and Bucky took the tray of cookie heaven out with his left hand without a glove.

It was like the avengers could all sense cookies had been made because within minutes the avengers had swarmed into Stucky's kitchen. Almost all the cooked goods were gone by the time Steve and Bucky came to eat one.

As everyone was gathered tony took the time to announce some news. "So every year my mum used to host a Christmas party, then when she died I took over and ever since I've been hosting the party in honor of her, so next week on Wednesday will be the annual stark Christmas do. As much as I protested Pepper insisted I had to invite you all." Tony smiled "it will be on the 3 rd floor" the 3 rd floor was hardly ever used it was almost like the main level with a large space, chairs, a mini bar the only difference was that it was better suited for a party as it had sound speakers and a disco ball that came from the ceiling.

"You guys better all be there as I said you would be there on the invites" Pepper said.

"Don't worry pep, me and Clint will be there." Natasha said in a friendly voice, taking another cookie then leaving, pulling Clint with her who also snatched another cookie.

It was the night of the party and Bucky was not looking forward to going. He used to love parties but ever since the winter soldier he's been really shy around people he doesn't know. They were both ready to go down to the party in their suits when had one last attempt of getting out of going "It's not too late, I could still tell tony I'm not going." Bucky said coming out of the bed room.

"NO! How many times have I tell you? You're coming to this party with me and you're not leaving my side for the whole night. Everyone is gonna want to talk to the Avengers and now you're a part of that." Steve said meeting Bucky in the hallway outside the elevator.

Music was blasting out around the 3 rd floor, it was packed. People were everywhere, having conversations with friends and acquaintances they hadn't seen since last year's Christmas do. When Steve and Bucky entered Tony shouted from across the room. "Capsical, tripod I was about to tell JARVIS to hurry you guys up. What took you so long?"

"I don't know what you mean Stark. We were so eager to get here." Bucky said as they walked closer to Tony's group of people.

When they reached Tony they were surprised when he flung a huge on Bucky and whispered into his ear "there's mistletoe in the far corner." he pulled away and winked at him then tilled his head towards Steve and winked again. The party had barley even started and already he was drunk.

Bucky frowned shaking his head at Tony "I think I'm going to get a drink. Steve shall we." Bucky said leading the way to the mini bar. "How long do think we need to stay before its okay to leave." Bucky said leaning agents the bar, smiling at Steve and asking for 2 beer.

"I think more than five minutes." Steve said smiling back at Bucky, taking his beer from the bartender.

"I'm sorry guys; Tony is the worst drunk I've ever met." Pepper said coming up to the bar wearing a beautiful skin tight dress that come down to her knees and very high heels. Her hair was down it had been curled and it suited her.

"Don't worry Bucky's a terrible drunk too, but now I'm like the forever designated driver." Steve said with a smile that if you looked too closely you could see a hint of sadness. Not that Steve ever wanted to lose himself to drink but when you have so many problems every once in a while it might have been nice to forget about everything for one night. "You look wonderful tonight Pepper."

Pepper laughed at Steve's complement looking down at her dress, "oh this, Tony bought it for me." Someone called Peppers name from across the room "Enjoy the party boys, if you have any problems just let me know." She then walked away to find the person that had called her.

They both nodded, Steve looked at Bucky about to ask him something but was then distracted "I wish I had my sketch book you look stunning in this light." He tilted head slightly "How did you get to be so perfect?"

Bucky shook his head "you know full well I'm far from perf..." a man came up to the two of them and interrupted Bucky.

"Captain it's great to see you here tonight and this must be Mr Barns." The man was old and had sunglasses on even though it was so dark on this level. He shook hands with them and swiftly moved onto Clint who was walking by. They could barely get a full sentence out to each other before being interrupted by someone desperate to meet them or get a selfy. Bucky was surprised how many people wanted to talk to him. It wasn't long before Bucky was pulled away from Steve and introduced to so awesome people. Meany thanked him for joining the avengers and helping America with it criminals.

The drinks just kept coming. Bucky never had an empty glass, someone was always eager to fetch him another or get him to try something he never had before. He talked about all kinds of things, what it was like back in the 1930s, Missions he'd done with the avengers. There was also a lot of questions about Stucky, how it started, how they met, when did they realise they loved each other. People were curious about their relationship, they said that they needed more details and wanted regular tweets and photos.

Finally Bucky got away from the group of obsessed people and shakily walked over to the bar he knew he was really drunk but he took another beer anyway, this party was becoming quite a lot of fun then he saw Steve across the room. Steve was standing up with one hand in his trouser pocket and in the other he was holding a glass of champagne. He was talking to Sam. An odd feeling bubbled up in Bucky's chest.

"... so then I was like BAM, I walked straight into the room and said don't worry guys I'm here and they were all like..." Sam was in full swing of his story when Bucky was about approached them when something caught on his foot and he started falling. There was a loud thud as his metal arm hit the floor. The music was so loud that no one really heard him fall but they saw. Bucky turned onto his back laying flat on the floor and let out a laugh that only a drunken person could make.

"Oh my God, Bucky are you okay?" Steve crouched next to him trying to help him up, "Buck you're bleeding." It was true there was blood running down Bucky's face from a cut on his eyebrow.

"I'm sorry, I love you." Bucky's words slurred into one strange sentence but Steve understood what he said. Steve was used to taking care of Bucky when he was drunk, alcohol always made Steve feel horrid or make him cough uncontrollably and the headaches were just not worth it but Bucky never had a problem with it other than being as bad as a drunk as Tony.

Steve took Bucky into the toilets and gave him a tissue, while Steve was cleaning up the blood Bucky was just telling him how much he love Steve. "You're the best. You really are. You're so good to me. I don't know why you love me. I'm just a jealous, good looking guy. I meant bad looking, actually scrap that I'm shit hot."

Steve just when along with it knowing Bucky wasn't going to remember a thing. "yep you are hot. No I'm not going to take my shirt off, yes yes I'm sure we can find a dragon for you to fly. I didn't see any mistletoe" This mad convection went on all the way back to their apartment were as soon as Bucky's head hit the pillow he was out. Steve returned to the party and reassured everyone that Bucky was fine.

Author's notes: **so I like drunken Bucky, I think he's really fun to Wright. I'm still unsure if he can even get drunk, God knows what hydra did to him but I decided that for a bit of entertainment I would make it possible for him to get drunk. I live in England and we don't celebrate thanksgiving, I don't actually know when it is, but I know it's around Christmas time, anyway I skipped it because... I don't know what people do on thanksgiving other than be grateful for each other? However in the next chapter it should be about hung over Bucky and CHRISTMAS DAY YAYAYAYA :) hope you like my chapter. I post as soon as I can. Keep the ideas and reviews coming.**


	14. Christmas Chapter 14

"Rise and shine sleepy head." Steve said coming into his room Bucky didn't even move. "Do you know what time it is?" Steve said as Bucky groaned. "It's almost 3 o'clock in the afternoon!" Steve said as he tried pulling the duvet covers off of Bucky's head. "You've been asleep for 14 hours. Let open the curtains." Steve swiftly walked over to the window. Bucky shot up like a meerkat.

"No no no, Steve please be genital to me. Pleases don't. Pleeeeee... Ahhhhhh" Steve tugged the curtains allowing the room to flood with light. Bucky moved his hands and covered his eyes. "if I didn't love you I swear to God..."

"Now now, let's not be rude it is Christmas Eve after all. Get up you have to help me wrap the presents. I'll give you 10 minutes to get up and changed" Steve moved for the door. "and if you even think about going back to sleep, I'm going to get JARVIS to play ACDC... on full volume."

Bucky took a shower and got changed he moved very slowly because he felt like his head was constantly spinning. When he heard the sound of a guitar he sped into the kitchen to find Steve smirking sipping from a mug of coffee. Steve then paused the music and they both began to wrap the presents.

"How did this even happen?" Steve said about an hour later trying to pull sellotape out of Bucky's hair. "Are you still drunk or something?"

"I don't even remember what happened after meeting that man with the sunglasses." Bucky said holding his fingers to the bridge of his nose he then used his hand to rub his eyes, "why does my eyebrow hurt?"

Steve laughed ripping the sellotape out of Bucky's messy hair pulling strand out with it. "So you don't remember falling and smashing your head on the floor?"

"no." Bucky said searching his brain for any recollection of the event.

"So you don't remember being in the bathroom insisting on fly a dragon?" Steve smiled at Bucky's confused face.

"No, but I'm sorry if embarrassed you or the avengers." Bucky said pulling his hair into a pony tail.

"You were too drunk to remember Tony but if you had seen him you wouldn't be apologising." Steve said.

"Why? What did he do?"

"Let's just say there was a mishap that involved Tony, Bruce, Natasha and mistletoe." Steve let out small laugh, while Bucky was either to hung over to think about what could possibly have happened or too confused to care.

Bucky and Steve snuggled up on the sofa in front of the fake fire place, Steve was drawing a picture of the fire, and Bucky was reading out loud to Steve. It was relaxing just sitting there with only the sound of each other's breathing. Bucky's head was feeling better and slowly began to piece the night's events back together.

Bucky arose early on Christmas morning, he knew how excited Steve was going to be so he took in these last moments of silence before starting this chaotic day. Steve had planned it almost to the last second every avenger was helping with the cooking of the Christmas dinner which would be served at 5:14 exactly. The morning is mostly for presents and then the rest of the day is just preparing the meal.

Steve took in a deep breath and without opening his eyes he said "it's Christmas!" a smile spread across his face. He turned and looked at Bucky "let open presents" Steve got up and left the room leaving Bucky just lying on his bed.

"And so I begins."

Steve had got everyone settled in the main level, Tony and pepper, Clint and Natasha, Thor and Jane, Bruce, Sam, Steve and Bucky, all getting ready to hand out presence. Steve and Bucky handed out their presents first. For Tony they gave him a big framed picture of the iron man suit, "Now that's classy" Tony stared at the picture for quite a while like he was looking into a mirror. For Pepper a new Bluetooth head set. For Clint the usual arrows custom made then for Natasha it was a box of monopoly.

"Thanks guy just what I wanted for Christmas this year... monopoly" she said in a sarcastic voice.

"That's why I bought it" Bucky said looking very pleased with himself, "look inside you'll love it." Natasha opened up the box and lifted the game board revelling 3 Semi-automatic pistol Grand Power K100s 9mm and several magazines and bullets.

Natasha laughed "now that's more like it." Bucky smiled. For Thor a big box of pop-tarts because Steve had notice his stash going missing and for Jane a new microscope as Bucky over heard her moaning to Thor a few days ago about how Daisy always breaks her stuff and now she had to buy a new microscope. Bruce was simple; extra extra stretchy pants and lot of them. Steve bought Sam some new sunglasses that he would wear when dressed in his falcon uniform.

Steve got Bucky a framed original photo of Bucky and pre-serum Steve. They were both smiling small Steve had no bruises or cuts on his face and Bucky just looked happy to be there. Bucky was taken aback he didn't think Steve had any photos left of the two of them he thought everything had been given to the Smithsonian or lost over the 70 years on ice. "I love it thank you Stevie" he kissed Steve's check "you got me this really adorable present and I just got you something silly." He got his present for Steve from under the tree.

It was a medium sized rectangular box covered with striped red, blue and white wrapping paper. Inside the box were 8 pairs of boxer briefs all with the American flag on. All the avengers laughed.

"Thank you Bucky I will wear them with pride." Steve smiled.

The rest of the presents were unwrapped, more pants for Bruce, more arrows for Clint and Natasha got weapons from almost everyone except Clint who gave her a necklace with a small silver arrow. Once everyone had cleared the ripped paper away Steve had everyone go and get ready to start cooking. As all the avengers had something that they would eat traditionally at Christmas there was several things that needed to be made.

2 turkeys one for Thor and one for everyone else. 2 chickens one for Thor and one for Sam and Clint as nether ate Turkey. Mashed, boiled, backed and roast potatoes including extra for Thor, everyone liked them differently and a large bowl of salad and lots of vegetables for everyone except Thor. Pudding would be Christmas pudding with the flames and everything and ice cream for those who don't eat the plum pudding (most likely everyone).

Everyone had their jobs any problems all they had to do was call Steve and he would sort it out. As Bucky was still working on his cooking skills he was on gravy duty. Steve was turkey. Tony was mashed potatoes. Pepper was roasted potatoes. Jane was boiled and backed potatoes. Thor was chicken. Bruce was salad. Clint was vegetables and Natasha was pudding.

It worked efficiently and quickly just like they were carrying out a mission and before anyone could moan about being hungry they were all sitting around the table waiting for Steve to make a toast.

"it's been a long time since me or Bucky celebrated Christmas and well it's been a wonderful day and I thank you all for that, thank you all for cooperating today to make this delicious meal we were lucky we only had 4 fires. Hope you all enjoy it and Thor I hope you have enough food. Cheers!"Steve raised his glass

"Cheers!" they all responded. They pulled their crackers and Clint insisted on everyone wearing their paper hat. They all to a group selfy and dug into their well worked for meal.

Everyone was having a very jolly time, eventually the conversation came around to the Stark Christmas do. "So as Steve said to me I was too drunk to remember, what happened between Tony Bruce and Natasha?" Bucky inquired.

Tony and Bruce both looked down at their food and didn't say a word. Natasha just smiled, "well, if the boys won't explain I will, hope you don't mind pep." Natasha said smiling at Pepper she just shrugged, "so just after you, buck, fell over I was standing in the corner when Tony approached me on my left and started drunkenly talking to me, I couldn't make it out, then Bruce came over to me on my right he was also very drunk, then without warning they both started leading in, I noticed I was standing under some mistletoe so I swiftly moved out the way and both boys planted a kiss on each other, being that drunk it took them an unnaturally long time to realise they weren't kiss me." Everyone laughed except Bruce and Tony who went a dark shade of red. "They moved away from each other as soon as they noticed but not before all the pictures were taken and everyone at the party saw what had happened."

Wiping a tear away from his eye "I can't believe I missed it." Bucky said very disappointed to have missed out but if he had been there it's not like he would have remembered anyway. The dinner was mostly just teasing Tony and Bruce.

When they were done no one could be bothered to clean up the dishes so they left it for someone to do tomorrow and went to watch the Grinch, the nominated Christmas film. The whole day had been just what Steve had wanted; being with his new family and the one he loved. Bucky was sitting with his arms wrapped around Steve and was laughing at the movie, Steve just smiled and said "this is how I want to spend my Christmas every year whether it's here in stark tower or somewhere else but I want to be with you crazy bunch of people for however many Christmases we have left together."

Everyone looked at Steve and thought deeply about his words they all nodded in agreement then Tony sighed "every single Christmas?" they all laughed and carried on with movie and as much as Tony joked about not wanting to spend Christmas like this in side everyone knew this was exactly what Tony had ever wanted.

Author's notes: **Christmas! So I got around to this chapter and realised I forgot to do secret scant I was meant to include it in the last chapter and get them to go shopping for presents but I forgot perhaps next time! For the next few chapters will be New Years Eve party and Clint's birthday. So should have more drunk Bucky :) thank you to candi for my reviews and mmelody6 for my :) keep them coming. I'll post another when I have time to write it, I'm currently packing to go on holiday so I might not have a lot of time. Thank you and enjoy.**


	15. Fears Chapter 15

"STEVE!"

It was a few days after Christmas and Steve was sleeping soundly in his bed due to a hectic few days, he was exhausted and the sound of the shout did not wake him.

"STEVE HELP!"

Steve sat up unsure on what he'd heard.

"STEVE!"

He jumped out of his bed, grabbed his shield and sped out of the room, he waited for Bucky to shout again to work out his location.

"STEVE!" Bucky's shout rang out across the apartment originating from the bathroom. Steve opened the door to find Bucky sitting on the bathroom counter with his arm tucked around his legs and pointing down at the floor "Steve kill it! Kill it!"

Steve looked down at the floor and saw a small little spider scurrying around the tiled floor. He took the glass from beside the sink and placed it over the spider he then picked up a magazine that was by the toilet and ripped off the front cover and slipped it under and picking up the glass taking the spider and setting it on the windowsill outside.

"Thanks Stevie thought that thing was going to kill me." Bucky said calmly as he walked over to the kitchen, he opened up the fridge and started scanning for food. "What should we have for breakfast?"

Steve frowned "are we going to talk about your irrational fear of spiders?" Steve said pushing the fridge closed.

Bucky went a little red "What do you mean; I've always been afraid of spiders." Bucky said reopening the fridge.

Steve then closed the fridge again "you've been through war, death and torture but you are still scared of spiders?" Steve laughed a little.

Bucky smiled "Hey, everyone has their fears!" Bucky said opening the fridge once more and taking out the orange juice.

 _Bucky was looking in the mirror, straightening his tie, pushes back a lose strand of hair. He's about to go and meet Steve for a double date that he had set up. Bucky's mum was standing by the kitchen table reading Bucky's draft letter for the 7_ _th time. She was proud that her son would be serving his country in war but at the same time terrified about the possibility of losing her son. She hadn't expressed her fear with Bucky but when she looked at her son standing there in full uniform she could not be prouder._

" _you haven't told him have you?" Bucky's mother said looking up from Bucky's letter._

 _Bucky didn't need to ask who she was talking about because since he received the letter he'd been hiding it every time Steve walked into the room. He took in a deep breath "no." He picked up his hat up from the table and placed it on his head._

" _You have to tell him you're leaving he looks up to you Bucky, he'll understand." His mother said moving closer to Bucky. "he respects you."_

" _He doesn't respect me enough to stop getting into fights he has no chance of winning." Bucky said rolling his eyes knowing that probably what Steve is doing right now._

" _But that's who he is and it's hard for a person like Steve to change that much about himself anyway that's not my point he has a right to know. You should have told him sooner, when you got that letter he should have been the first person you told and now you're leaving tomorrow and he has no idea."_

 _Bucky took his mums hand and looked into her eyes, "I'm going to tell him," he smiled at her and kissed her cheek "I love you."_

 _She put her hand on Bucky's shoulder "I love you too, promise you'll come back to me safely and you'll be careful out there." he nodded in response, Bucky couldn't say 'I promise' because his mum could always tell when he way lying. He knew the odds of a soldier returning home, he'd read the newspaper._

 _Bucky had received the draft letter months ago but he'd put off telling Steve because he knew how much Steve wanted to fight, he felt like he was betraying his friend but also felt relieved to know that no one was willing to take Steve into war and would be safe here in Brooklyn._

 _Bucky knew how to look after himself especially in battle whereas Steve couldn't even win a back alley fight but Steve was stubborn he refused to back down and believe that he wasn't any different from the other men who have the right to fight._

 _Bucky had an early start tomorrow and wouldn't have time to see his mother before he left. He hugged her tight and thanked her for everything she'd done for him in the past, then went into his sisters room and kissed the top of their heads goodbye. After his goodbyes Bucky left the house to go and meet Steve, they were meeting outside the cinema but when he arrived Steve wasn't there. He had been waiting there for a while when he heard the usual sounds coming from the alleyway next to the cinema. He poked his head around the corner where he saw the usual scene of Steve being beaten to a pulp._

"Bucky?...Bucky?" Steve smiled as he poked at Bucky back to attention

Bucky smiled "Who the hell is Bucky?" he joked.

"Okay that's not funny" Steve warned, pointing a finger at Bucky. They grabbed some breakfast and soon after they got dressed into their uniform as it was their shift for patrol.

Natasha tagged along on their mission as she had nothing better to do; Clint had gone to look at some new high tech arrows that Tony had designed. They had received word of a big wanted terrorist group entering an airport in Germany, pulling out guns and taking hostages.

They did as they usually did when going on a mission; jumping onto a fast jet and speeding of to wherever they need to go and in this case it was Germany. On the jet they made a plan Natasha was going to go in through the ceiling, Steve would go in through the front door and Bucky would enter through the back.

When they arrived, Bucky ran around the back of the building until he saw the fire exit door with one of the criminals guarding it. He sped along the edge of the building and came up behind the terrorist at the door and wrapped his hand around his mouth and nose until he passed out. Entering through the fire exit he ran down the corridor and when he reached the end he knelt down when he saw the group of terrorist and hostages. He looked up and saw a flash of red hair on the glass ceiling and then looked at the door he knew Steve would charge through, that was his cue to enter and start fighting.

The doors opened and Steve burst into the room, Bucky stood up immediately starting to fight with the nearest criminal then there was a loud crash as the glass shattered from the ceiling and Natasha zoomed down on a wire. The sudden sound meant all the terrorists were distracted and Steve used this moment to throw his shield knocking out two criminals that were in front of Bucky, when both had fallen down Bucky caught the shield and used it to block some bullets that were fired from in front of him. Steve punched a man who then fell to the ground then he caught the shield that Bucky had thrown back to him and used it to knock out a man who was blasting towards him at full speed.

"It's the avengers!" a man called out to the others, Natasha jumped on the man's back who then threw his arms up to try and get her of but instead she twisted her legs around his front and pulled him to the ground kicking him in the face. Steve was fighting a small man who fast on his feet, the small man kicked Steve's shield out of his hands and went for a punch but Steve pushed his arm away, the man then pulled out a pocket knife and lunged for Steve's stomach, Steve stepped sideways punched the small terrorist in the face knocking him out cold.

As his picked up his shield a man aimed a gun at Steve's back, Bucky saw the man aim and noticed Steve hadn't realised he was being aimed at so Bucky head butted the man he was fighting letting him drop to the floor and dashed in between the two of them taking the bullet in the lower right abdomen. Bucky fell to the floor and Steve flung his shield at the last terrorist, he caught his shield and rushed to Bucky's side.

"Bucky, you idiot! I had him!" Steve said picking up a jacket off one of the terrorist unconscious bodies and placing it over Bucky's wound.

"You and me both know that you didn't have him." Bucky sat up despite Steve's objections "Steve I'm okay. I've had a lot worse than this." Bucky took Steve's arm and got to his feet cringing a little. Steve and Natasha both tied all the terrorists' hands together and let the hostages out and after a lot of arguing Bucky finally gave in and went with Steve to the hospital.

Bucky lay on the hospital bed as they were stitching up his wound and when they were done a nurse came over to Bucky's right side with a needle, "I just need to take a little blood, just lean back and relax your arm." Bucky took deep breaths and waited for the pain of the needle. When the pain didn't come he looked at the nurse's confused face. "I can't seem to find a vain I'm going to try your other arm?"

Bucky chuckled "I don't think your gonna have much lucky with this one either." Bucky lifted his up his metal arm.

The nurse's jaw dropped a little "I'm so sorry, I didn't notice, I'll look again for a vain." She smiled politely and after a long search she finally found one. "you'll have to stay here a little longer while we test you blood work and make sure your not bleeding internally but other than that and maybe a scar you'll be perfectly fine. I recommend you get some sleep." The nurse smiled again and left.

"See I told you I'd be fine." Bucky said closing his eyes and leaning back his head.

"Bucky don't stat this again if it had been me who got shot you would be acting like how I'm acting and don't even try to deny it." Steve said taking Bucky's hand in his.

"Yeah but the last time you were in hospital for a bullet wound I was the one who shot you!" Bucky smiled at Steve who just rolled his eyes.

"Doesn't make a difference you would be panicking just as much as I am but I'm glad you are okay. And thank you for saving my life. Again. I love you." Steve said lightly kissing Bucky.

"I love you too" Bucky said. Pulling steve in for another kiss befor eventually drifting into a deep sleep.

Author's notes: **So I'm not going to be able to post another chapter for a week or so, hope you gut liked this chapter feel free to tell me what you thought about it I'll still be able to read your comments. There was a lot in this chapter but I think I really like the fight scene as I like how Stucky both used the shield. Enjoy, and I'll get writing as soon as I get back.**


	16. New Year's Eve Chapter 16

Bucky was back at home and resting in his bed he could heal fast but not as fast as Steve so Steve was looking after him and helping him get better. It was a new feeling for Steve him being the one to look after Bucky when he was hurt. There was only one other time Steve felt like this, it was when they were kids and Bucky was ill; all the other boys went off and played but Steve stayed not because he was a frail as a daisy but because he knew it's what a true friend would do and Bucky would do the same for him. Bucky's mother welcome Steve in with wide arms and for almost all the days that buck was ill, they would talk to each other or Steve would read to Bucky or just enjoy each other's company.

Eventually in just a couple of days Bucky was moving around almost like normal which he was glad about because that meant that he would be able to attend the New year's party that the avengers were throwing. They'd agreed to do their family time together as very little of them had any family left or none at all and the closest they were going to get was each other.

This time Bucky was excited to go to the party as he felt more confident to be around strangers even though this party was going to be smaller than the Christmas do. Bucky was wearing a smart trousers and a white short with sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Steve was wearing almost the same as Bucky just his shirt was dark blue and the sleeves were rolled down. Before Bucky entered the party with Steve he decided he was going to be responsible with his drinking he didn't want a repeat of last time. However, this did not last long, as soon as the elevator doors opened up to the third floor, Tony handed Bucky a shot of vodka and said it was something to get him started. Steve and Bucky both took their shots then politely rejected Tony's offer for a refill.

Even though it was the same room the layout was different from the Christmas party there was a bigger dance floor but the disco ball was still swinging above and chairs around the edge of the room and the bar was now on the left side. Bucky asked the bar tender for a 2 waters but instead the man bought them 2 beers and said "Mr Stark said if someone ordered water I had to bring them alcohol and tell them not to be a party pooper." the bar tender moved away to take someone else's order. Bucky smiled at Steve and he shrugged picked up his glass and knocked it agents Steve's, they both took a sip and it wasn't long until they were asking for another.

After a few drinks Steve and Bucky had moved over to a couch and were talking to each other over the music when a very happy and slightly tipsy Thor joined them "friends! Good to see you on this jolly night! You look well!"

Steve smiled "Hi Thor are you enjoying the party?"

"Very much Rogers son of Steve" Thor frowned "wait that's not right, Rogers of Steve? No son of Rogers?" Thor scratched his head.

"Steve son of Rogers?" Bucky suggested.

"Exactly! My my you are intelligent for Midguardian!"Thor looked around, "where is my hammer?" he got up and strolled away in search of his Mjolnir.

"Where did you say he was from again?" Bucky said as he watched Thor asking Jane foster if she'd seen his hammer.

"Asgard, I think it's in space you'll have to ask Thor, Jane, tony or Nick Fury they seem to understand the modern day." Steve said taking a sip of his beer.

"Nick Fury? He's dead, I killed him!" Bucky was confused, "I remembered shooting him."

Steve was about to explain what had really happened, "if you want to kill me you have to work a little harder. I'm not that easy to kill." A deep voice said from behind the two of them. Nick Fury was standing in a black suit, sunglasses and his hands shoved into his pockets. "Here I was thinking hydra taught you to finish your missions."

Bucky smiled he barely knew Fury but he was glad that he wasn't dead, Bucky could cross his name of his killed list. He didn't tell Steve that he had a mental note of all the people he'd killed because he knew it would upset him. When Steve wasn't around Bucky would sit down and look through books and files and sometime the internet, if JARVIS was at hand to help, of the victims to learn more about them and see if he could find their graves to pay his respects and apologise. Bucky doesn't know that Steve knows that he does this, one time Steve was looking for an old mission folder when he stumbled onto a draw full of files about Bucky's targets. He immediately knew what Bucky was up to and thought it would be best to leave Bucky to cope with his past and when he was ready to tell Steve, he would do so.

Nick Fury explained about how he faked his death, telling Bucky about the drug he took that slowed his heart beat and that Bucky didn't need to feel bad for trying to murder him that there was 'no hard feelings'.

Nick was reaching the end of his story when there was a massive crash and Thor's hammer blasted through the ceiling and flew straight into Thor's hands. Jane when red with embarrassment and Thor just shouted "you are no match for the mighty THOR!"

"Honey, I think you've had a little too much to drink." Jane said politely trying to push Thor to one of the corner sofas.

"Nonsense, I have drunk much more in my day and nothing yet has defeated me!" Thor said to Jane who just nodded and waited for Thor to calm down a little and persuaded him to put his hammer down. Jane then apologised to pepper for the ceiling and said that she and Thor would pay for the damage.

As it got closer to midnight Bucky got drunker and over time the music had been turned down and almost everyone has sat around the dance floor just chatting about New Year's resolution.

"I'm going to be more organised." Pepper said to the group.

"How is that even possible" tony mumbled "my resolution is to be alive New Year's morning!" everyone laughed and Tony nodded to Thor silently asking him what his would be.

"I wish to drink as much beer as I can hold" Thor nodded taking a swig of beer and holding his glass up there was a few cheers and whoops then he added "I also wish to give forgiveness to my brother."

"Even after everything he did to New York?" Jane frowned.

"He is my brother." Thor shrugged "well adopted brother but that I can over look!"

"I want to try not to smash everything..." Bruce said shyly smiling at his hands. "...again."

"I'm going to try and not kill anyone." Natasha said casually. No one said anything until Clint spoke up.

"I'm going to be more helpful when Tasha is in a bad mood so she doesn't break her resolution and kill me." Everyone laughed at Clint then laughed more when Natasha punched Clint's arm.

"I'm going and be more helpful and be less selfish and make decisions that help others not just myself" everyone looked at Steve. "What?"

"Be more helpful? Do the right thing?" Tony shook his head "I thought you couldn't get drunk? Capsical," he said laughing "that's not a resolution that's like saying I'm never going to change! Think of a new one!"

"To try and get a handle on technology?" Steve asked Tony. Tony nodded in approval.

"That could work. What about you tripod? What will your resolution?"Tony asked.

"The same as Steve's?" Bucky's was actually to say apologise to all his victims but Steve was listening.

"That's cheating you can't take someone else resolution" Natasha said to Bucky. "Note to self Stucky are really bad at coming up with resolutions!"

Bucky thought to himself for a moment "um... my resolution is going to be learning how to cook?"

"BORING!" Tony shouted and everyone laughed.

"Hey guys 5 minutes till midnight." Pepper said looking down at her watch. they went to on the roof and waited for the countdown.

"5!" they all shouted "4! 3! 2! 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Stucky kissed, pepperony kissed, clintasha kissed and Jane/Thor kissed. After the countdown the sky light up with fireworks and Steve and Bucky stood with their arms around each other mesmerized by the display. The quality of fireworks was so much better now that before the war. There were so many colours and they were so much louder now.

They all went back down to the third floor and began to dance until the early hours of the morning when finally 3 o clock in the morning rolled around Steve and Bucky headed back to their level.

When the doors opened Steve switched on the lights and helped Bucky into the apartment. Bucky had an arm around Steve's shoulders and clumsily walked by his side. "Happy New Year Stevie!" Bucky mumbled. He'd been talking rubbish for the last hour and a half it had been so amusing Tony had got JARVIS to film it for him. "I love you!" Bucky continued. "I don't know why I don't tell you more often... you don't deserve me... no wait that's wrong... I don't deserve you." He pointed a finger at Steve and kissed his cheek.

"Ahhh that's not true." Steve said taking Bucky into their bed room. "Not that you'll remember this." Steve muttered. Steve sat Bucky down and got him some pyjamas to change into.

"see... you're so nice to me!" Bucky took the pile of fresh clothes. "You're so caring and you... you always look after me!" Bucky placed the clothes on the bed and removed his shirt, "all I can offer you is my super hot smoking body!" Bucky gestured to his torso.

"of cource you have more to offer than just your looks but for now let's start with something small just put your clothes on and let's go to bed." Steve could tell Bucky was out of it and won't remember any of this tomorrow but it was amusing watching Bucky trying to stick his head through the arm sleeve. After what felt like a century Bucky was ready for bed and that's when he chose that moment to jump to his feet pulling Steve up with him and start dancing together. Bucky's arm was on Steve's waist and he was swing him around from side to side and when they were both puffed out Bucky kissed Steve.

"I love you" Steve said pulling Bucky to sit down on the edge of the bed.

"I love you t..." Bucky was replying when he leaned forward and threw up on Steve's feet.

Steve took in a deep breath "Perfect!" Steve rolled his eyes and patted Bucky's back.

Author's noted: **It feels like it been so long since I last wrote I had to keep re reading my last chapter to remember what I written! I found I missed writing and while I was away I thought of some more ideas/plots for the story so I'm look forward to that. I won't be able to post as often as I had been over the summer because I'll be at school in a week and it's already looking busy but I'll write and post when I can but keep the reviews coming they lighten up my day to know that you all like my story. Till next chapter! :) Ps. I hope you like this chapter because I know it's a lot like the Christmas do chapter but I still think its fun.**


	17. the trial Chapter 17

About a week after New Year's Steve and Bucky were on another mission with Natasha and they were just tying up the last few criminals. Once they were done Bucky pulled Steve in for a kiss when a man jumped out from behind a wall and aimed a gun at Bucky. Before he could pull the trigger Natasha had him in a headlock and laid his unconscious body on the floor.

"Can you two focus and try and keep your hand off each other for 5 minutes!" Natasha complained to Stucky.

"Why?" Steve shrugged "do public displays of affection make you uncomfortable?"

"It's not a wise move using my words agents me, Rogers." She warned Steve and then smiled "come on lets go I'm starving!"

They zoomed back to stark tower where dinner was being prepared by the other avengers. They all sat around the table to several boxes of pizza "I thought you were cooking?" Steve said to tony.

Tony took a slice of pizza and stuffing it in his face and said "No I said dinner was going to be pizza I said nothing about cooking."

The avengers were laughing at Steve who was telling them the story of when he and Bucky were younger and how Steve would always get into fights then Bucky would have to come and intervene. Steve was in mid sentence when the elevator doors opened up and police with guns flooded into the apartment.

Alarmed all the avengers stood up from the table and watched as a man approached Bucky. The man took out some handcuffs "James Buchanan Barnes you're under arrest for suspicion for countless murders and assisted crimes, you have the right to remain silent. If you do say anything, it can be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to have a lawyer present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you if you so desire." The officer took Bucky's wrist.

Naturally, Bucky reacted instinctively throwing his fist into the man's face, all the guns were aimed at Bucky and it reminded him of being in the Hydra base and they were aiming guns to protect themselves from Bucky's anger. Bucky prepared himself for another punch when Steve placed his hand on Bucky's shoulder.

"Calm down Buck." Steve looked at the police officer "are the handcuffs necessary?"

"Yes sir, I'm afraid we have orders to not take any risks with this man." The officer moved closer and Bucky cooperated with the man putting his hands behind his back and allowed the cuffs to slide into place.

"THIS IS BULLSHIT!" Bruce shouted. Everyone whipped their head around to look at Bruce, most the time Bruce keeps his head down and rarely speaks to Bucky, not because he doesn't like him but because they don't really have anything in common. "Bucky's a good person, he's been helping so many people, you can't just arrest him! He's not dangerous anymore."

"I'm sorry doctor banner you'll have to save it for the trial." And with that the officer dragged a shocked looking Bucky out of the apartment down in the elevator and into a police car.

Steve and the other avengers were left speechless. Bruce started shouting about how it wasn't fair and how bad things happen to good people everyone was shocked by this sudden anger from Bruce but then had to try and calm him before he got a little too angry and they all got a visit from the other guy.

Everyone was unsure on what to do. Bruce was insisting that they should just go and get him back and if anyone protests he'll just turn a few shades of green to show who is boss. Natasha said that they should wait for the trial and show tell them the truth about how it wasn't buck's fault. Clint said negotiate with them and see if they can come up with a way of getting Bucky off. Tony said that they should just pay them off but Steve said nothing he just wanted to see Bucky and tell him everything was going to be okay, he couldn't imagine how scared he must be right now.

Bucky was escorted to a cell it was away from everyone else's sell almost like solitary confinement but he had two guards at his door keeping an eye on him at all times, he had a feeling they didn't trust he very much like they think he's about to make some grand escape.

Bucky sat down on the floor next to the bed, pulled his knees up to his chin, wrapped his arms around his legs and placed his head on his arms. He missed Steve.

Everything had been explained, Bucky was being held in this cell until his trial which was going to be in a couple of days, then at the trial they can decide whether he should be kept in prison or set free.

The days Bucky spent in the cell were lonely. He wasn't allowed to join the others prisoners at meal times or even allowed to leave his cell for some fresh air due to him being 'too dangerous' apparently his metal arm could be used as a weapon. Bucky hardly spoke or moved while he waited. The only time he talked was to his lawyer to discuss the trial.

The trial had been set up really quickly because they were dealing with the avengers so it was only a couple of days before Bucky was entering the court room through a side door in handcuffs, an orange jumpsuit with his hair was hanging looses and his skin was pail. He looked around the court and saw the whole avenger's team in the front row behind where Bucky would be sitting. Bucky was lead to his table and the handcuffs were removed, they all stood as the judge entered.

The judge read out the charges which seemed to go on forever going over every known mission and murders Hydra had recorded. It was painful for Bucky to listen to the things he'd done not because it scared him that he'd done those things but it was painful to him to know that Steve was listening. Bucky knew Steve was behind him but he didn't turn around he didn't want to see the look on his face he was horrified that Steve might not love him anymore or look at him differently.

"How does your client plead?" the judge asked

Bucky's lawyer stood "innocent your honour."

"Innocent?" the judge looked surprised "and here I was thinking I had myself a short trial. Are you implying that your Clint is not the winter soldier?"

"In a matter of speaking... no" Bucky's lawyer said moving from behind the desk. "My client knows what damage has come from his hands and yes the winter soldier committed this crimes but it has come to my attention that Mr Barnes was not aware of what he was doing."

"So you're saying that your client was insane?" the judge inquired.

"No I'm saying my client was tortured and brainwashed by Hydra into doing these horrible deeds" the lawyer retreated back to his desk next to Bucky.

"Do you have any witnesses you wish to question?" the judge asked

"I would like to bring Steve Rogers to the stand." The lawyer turned to Steve who stood nodded once at Bucky and took his seat in front of the court he promised to tell the truth and the questioning began. "Could you please state your full name and rank please?"

"Captain Steven Grant Rogers." Steve said to the lawyer

"Captain Rogers, could you explain your past with Hydra?"

"My mission was to take down the red skull, Johann Schmidt; he was creating an army that would wipe all the countries off the map. His plan was to take over the world. And in 1943 Bucky... um Mr Barnes was captured by Hydra and experimented on." Steve answered looking at the lawyer and occasionally at the jury panel.

"Could you define experimented?" the lawyer questioned.

"I'm not sure exactly what they did you'd have to ask someone who was there but unless they were set on ice too I doubt you'll find anyone..." Steve smiled a little.

"Please Captain, back to the question." The judge said "we don't have all day."

Steve nodded and got back onto the question "I do know what they were trying to do. Hydra was trying to replicate the serum used on me; they didn't have it exactly right so it would have been extremely painful for anyone to be tested on. It only stopped when I entered the Hydra base and rescued all those men and I found buck... Mr Barnes in the lab."

"Can you explain to the jury what conditions you found Mr Barnes in?" the lawyer asked.

"..." Steve had a blank look like he was seeing Bucky lying in the lab again. "When I entered the lab I could hear Bucky talking to himself it was complete nonsense and he was strapped to a metal slab, he was pale and had dark bags under his eyes."

"Thank you Captain. That's all the questions I have your honour" the lawyer sat behind his desk. As Steve walked back to his seat he glanced at Bucky who was looking at him like all he wanted to do was huge him. Steve mouthed I love you and Bucky had to look down at his hands to hide the tears.

The judge turned to the prosecutor "do you wish to bring anyone to the stand?"

"If I may I would like to bring Mr Stark to the stand." Mutters spread across the court room as the prosecutor spoke. Bucky turned to look at Steve who just shrugged to show he was just as confused as Bucky. Willingly Tony stood and promised to tell the truth just like Steve before him. "Could you please state your name?"

"Anthony Edward Stark." Tony said rolling his eyes everyone knows he hated his full name.

"Thank you," the prosecutor said "Mr Stark I was wondering if you could tell us how your parents died?"

"Objection, this is not relevant information." Bucky's lawyer stood complaining to the judge.

"Oh I have a point." The prosecutor smiled at the judge.

"Continue," the judge leaned back in the seat and looked at Tony.

"How my parents died is a privet matter." Tony shook his head "the newspapers say they died in car cash, that all you need to know."

"yes the newspapers say that but I happen to have a report from a Hydra file that says differently. Ladies and gentlemen the winter soldier was the one who killed Mr Stark's parents." There was a gasp from almost everyone in the court.

"your honour, yes the winter soldier killed my parents then staged a car crash but James Barnes didn't. He was Hydras pawn he didn't know what he was doing, he didn't even realises he'd done it until he had a nightmare a few months ago! Hydra had wiped his mid and memories so he has no recollection of even murdering my parents." A few of the jury nodded. "Your honour, Bucky is not a villain but just another victim of Hydra he's suffering the consequences for the actions he forced to do. Mr Barnes was meant to have dies in 1944 but due to being experimented on he was not given the pleasure of death but the horror of being tortured for 70 years!" tears were streaming down Bucky's face but no one mentioned them, he was so moved by Tony's word and felt enormously guilty for putting Tony through the whole world finding out the truth about his parents death.

The prosecutor was speechless putting Tony on the stand completely backfired and just made Bucky's story sound sadder and allowed half the jury to now sympathising for Bucky and everything he went through. "I have no more questions your honour."

The trial went on for 6 days, over the week almost all the avengers had been question and the prosecutor had found some families of the winter soldiers victims to tell their story on how hard life was without their loved ones. Then on the 7 th and last day Bucky was put on the stand. So Bucky was sitting next to the judge and was ready to be questioned.

Bucky's lawyer stated off with "Please state your full name."

"James Buchanan Barnes." Bucky's said to the lawyer.

"How would you explain your time as the winter soldier?" the lawyer asked.

"I don't remember most of it, but I was on and off cryo freez a lot..." Bucky was interrupted by his lawyer.

"Can you quickly explain what cryo freez is?"

"When I'm put into a... um... coffin shaped container thing... and it just freezes your whole body and preserves you." The lawyer nodded for him to continue on with the first question. "anyway I was on and off cryo freez a lot of the time but when I was awake and from what I can remember I was told a mission and I was programmed to complete it."

"Can you tell the jury more about the brainwashing?" the lawyer said in soft calm voice.

Bucky took a deep breath "I remember the very start it was frustrating for them, Hydra, I was strong I would remember who I was and I'd fight back, It wasn't until they showed me a newspaper article where the headline read Captain America killed in action and from that day it was easy to wipe my mind because everything inside me shut down. They treated me like an animal barely fed me,forced me to carry out missions and wear a muzzle like out of control dog. They beat me and when I wasn't frozen I was sleeping in a cell smaller than the ones in this prison and not even going mention my arm. Whenever they thought I was getting to close to remembering everything they'd wipe me and start over. Every time they wiped my memories it hurt I'd be awake and screaming for someone to stop the pain but no matter how loud I screamed no one was coming to help me." Bucky was staring at a point on the wall while he was talking and was seeing images of his past flicker in his eyes.

"No further questions." Bucky's lawyer sat down at the desk. There was a cold silence over the court room the judge sat up straight in his chair.

"Jury I'm handing the decision over to you. You must discuss you thoughts on whether Mr Barnes is guilty or innocent. Think about your decision and don't come back until everyone is 100 percent sure of the verdict." Everyone stood as the judge left then the jury. Bucky was escorted back to his cell where he waited for the verdict.

It took 17 hours for them to conclude the decision and when the judge re-entered the court he immediately said "jury what's your verdict?"

A young women stood up, took a deep breath "we find the accused..."

Author's notes: **so I finished this chapter 2 days ago but I couldn't get to work? But now it's back whoop. I enjoyed this chapter I wrote it really quickly and was sad when I couldn't upload it. This is the longest chapter I've written so far and hopefully there will be more like this in the future. It's great to be back writing and I hope everyone is enjoying it as much as I enjoy writing it! :) please keep the reviews coming they really brighten up my day! Thank you to everyone who have contantly been following my story :) one more thing A) I've never been to a trial/court and B) I'm not sure how trials go in America sor excuse me if there any holes in how the trial goes.**


	18. let's take a break Chapter 18

The women speaking on behalf of the jury took a deep breath; there was a long pause which to Bucky, felt like hours, his future was hanging on this one word. Guilty or innocent? The silence was defining and in Bucky's head panic had started to take over. What if was found guilty? What if he was found innocent? Everyone will know what he'd done in his past. Everyone would be scared of him. At least if he was in prison he wouldn't have to see people staring at him like he was dangerous. What if he was in prison for so long that Steve found someone else? What if after hearing everything he'd done the avengers decided they didn't want him to be part of the team anymore? What would he do all day? What would he do without steve?

All Bucky could hear was the word innocent echoed around the court room. A massive weight was lifted from his shoulder and until it was gone he hadn't realised how heavy it was. Relief flooded through his mind but he was shocked, he'd convinced himself that he would not be leaving this court room as a freeman; he thought they'd find him guilty. Bucky's handcuffs were removed and as soon as he could he spun around until his eyes met Steve's, he almost ran to him and hugged him as tightly as he possibly could then refused to let go for a very long time, Steve didn't complain in the slightest.

Eager to leave the avengers piled into a car that was going to be taking them to stark tower, no one really spoke they all just sat quietly relived of the verdict. Steve sat tangled in Bucky's arms they hadn't let go of each other since removing the handcuffs. Peppers phone had been buzzing non-stop as she keeps receiving hundreds of calls from journalists all wanting an interview with Bucky. It had been a tense few days so Tony decided to do something to get team moral up "I think we need a break." Tony said when everything was silent.

"A break?" Pepper raised her eyebrows. "Now? Tony you always want to go on holiday at the most inappropriate times."

"Why not now? I think this is the best time for a holiday." Tony said looking at the rest of the avengers for some support.

"Tony..." Pepper started in a calm motherly tone but Clint interupted.

"I think it's a great idea." Clint smiled

"Yeah! Let's go somewhere... hot and sunny." Natasha said allowing Clint to put his arm around her.

"Oh lets go to Disneyland!" Steve said like an excited 5 year-old.

"Grow up Steve!" Tony shot back.

"Hey! I may have been born 90 years ago but I still have the heart of a child" Steve said in a playful tone.

A smaile spread across Thor's face as he said "I could take you all to Asgard! You could all meet my parents!" Thor seemed genuinely thrilled at the idea of the avengers meeting his family. "you could also visit my brother in his dungeon accommodation."

"I think we'll decline the Loki visit" tony said to Thor who was a little sad about his idea being turned down "let's stick to somewhere on earth like France or Budapest?" Tony said narrowing his eyes at Clint and Natasha who both looked at each other then shook their heads.

"I don't think Budapest is a good idea, somewhere else." Clint said looking back at Tony.

"Oh for heaven's sake" Tony said rolling his eyes "what the hell happened in Budapest?" Clint and Tasha just smiled at each other and didn't say a word.

"You guys would love India. It's fascinating, busy and so alive." Bruce said interrupting the silence of everyone thinking about thing that could of possibly happened in Budapest that were so bad that it made them not want to go back.

"I want to go somewhere remote, not to many people but also would like to catch a nice tan" Natasha said then turned to Bruce "there's a lot of people in India" Bruce nodded in agreemeant.

Tony and pepper looked at each other like they were having a telepathic convocation then Pepper nodded and said "Well Tony has a small island that he owns near Hawaii we could all go there, I mean it's not very big, you could walk all the way around it in like 3 and a half hours but no one lives on the island, there's a lovely little house we can all stay in _and_ there would be absolutely no publicity!"

"Why do you own an island?" Natasha asked.

"I won it in a lucky hand of poker." Tony smiled "a _very_ lucky hand. To be honest I had forgotten I had it, we normally let people pay to stay there but there's no one there right now, could be nice to visit." Tony shrugged and a few heads nodded.

"Let's do it!" Steve nodded "I'm in, how about you Bucky?" Bucky had his hand in Steve's and his head resting on Steve's shoulder, his eyes were closed and his breathing was even, he was fast asleep and had been for almost the whole conversation. He was exhausted he'd found it hard to sleep over the week without Steve by his side, without the warmth of his body next to him. Steve's serum increased his body temperature so he was always radiating heat and after spending so much time next to Steve, Bucky just felt lost and very cold. His metal arm also didn't help when it got cold it would steal some of his body heat and make him even colder this was always a problem back when he was in Russia, cold days and colder night. Steve had gotten used to the cold metal and had never minded Bucky resting his arm agents him when he slept, it was always cold but he like listening to the buzz it helped him fall asleep when he was thinking about too much.

If Bucky had fallen asleep in any other car of people he would be allowed to sleep in peace and be respectfully left alone but this was the avengers and it was selfie time. They all took it in turns to take a picture with the sleeping Bucky and adding it to the team Snapchat with comments like 'sleeping lion' and 'even heroes get sleepy'. When they pulled into stark tower's garage they had all agreed that they would be going to the island in Hawaii bright and early the following day. Steve carefully shook Bucky awake when his eyes opened and he sleepily smiled at Steve.

Steve explained to Bucky about their holiday planes and if Bucky had the energy he would be bouncing around like crazy to but Bucky was tired so even though it was only mid-day they both went into their bed room and changed out of their suits. Bucky changed into a baggy t-shirt and sweat pants then lay his head down on a pillow, Steve sat agents the headboard and started reading, Bucky listened to the soft tone of Steve's voice and allowed it to calm him until finally he fell asleep.

Once Bucky was asleep Steve packed holiday clothes into two bags for himself and Bucky then took out his pencils and paper and stated sketching his sleeping partner. Steve sat next to Bucky drawing for hours until his eyelids became heavy. Steve drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

The next morning they woke to Natasha jumping up and down on their bed shouting "wake up sleepy heads! Rise and shine! It's holiday time!"

Bucky groaned "Nat, respect your elders!" Natasha kept jumping and Clint was standing in the doorway watching Natasha with a big smile spread across his face.

"He's right were 96 years old! Let us, senior citizens, sleep!" Steve said pulling the sheets back up to his neck and both Bucky and Steve closed their eyes to sleep. As he did so Natasha did a flip off the bed and lad on steadily on her feet. She looked at Clint who took one corner of the sheets and Nat took the other and pulled the sheets off the two sleeping men, both groaned in frustration. Bucky shuffled closer to Steve to stay warm. Natasha and Clint just burst out laughing when they saw Steve's American flagged underwear; Natasha took a picture, high-fived Clint and left the room.

Steve was cranky he must have been drawing until the early hours of the morning and as a result he'd had only a few hours of sleep. "It's your own fault." Bucky blamed Steve.

"You're not helping Bucky!" Steve groaned.

Bucky smiled "didn't say I was trying to help." Bucky kissed Steve's cheek. "You can sleep on the jet."

"I'd slept for over 70 years you'd think I'd be okay." Steve mumbled

Bucky was packing the last few essentials, "do you want the American flag swimming trunks or the trunks with the little stars on?" Steve just looked at him like he couldn't care less. "How about I pack them both?" Bucky said shoving the trunks into the bags. Before long they were ready to go and meet the other avengers. Everyone was already there Clint, Natasha, tony, Bruce, Thor, Jane, pepper, Maria Hill and Sam Wilson all waiting on Steve and Bucky.

"Sorry some of us are moving a little slow this morning" Bucky said as he walked onto the jet. The atmosphere was full of excitement. Everyone was buzzing even Steve had lighten up a little more. Everyone boarded the jet and waited for takeoff.

Author's notes: **So I think that it was obvious that Bucky was going to be innocent but still fun. I love all my reviews and I am so glad to hear that you like my story, however a few have pointed out that my grammar and spellings are a little off, so not trying to make excuses but I feel you have a right to know if your gonna read my stories, I'm dyslexic and I find it hard to spell well or work out where grammar should go. It had also been recommended that I get someone to proof read my work and I would if I could. You see I'm an only child and I'm too embarrassed to get my friends to read it as none of them like marvel (as hard as I try to get them into it (I do have one friend who likes marvel but hates the idea of Stucky)) so the only people who read this work is you guys 3 and I was hoping if you could try and over look any mistakes I make. Just by writing this much is a huge accomplishment to me even though it might not seem that was to others. Thank you to all my amazing reviewers. Ps would also like to say this is not a rant just a little information/explanation. Thank you.**


	19. arriving Chapter 19

The jet had been zooming over the ocean for a few hours now, they were quite far from the island and the excitement had died down a little, Steve had decided to take this opportunity to rest on Bucky's shoulder.

There were 3 tables with 4 seats Bucky and Steve sat opposite Natasha and Clint, Sam sat with Maria and pepper, Thor sat with Jane and Bruce sat opposite but was fast asleep. Tony was in the cockpit discussing with the pilot small details on the plain that could be changed to make it easier to fly and generally more comfortable for the pilot.

The one thing Bucky had come to love about the future is flying in a plane that's smooth and quiet. Back in the war any planes they flew in were so noisy it was impossible to anything else, you couldn't hear the person next to you even if they shouted at the top of their lungs. They flew in one of Tony's privet Stark Industries jet's and it had lots of room, a TV, even a mini bar and kitchen area. Bucky, Clint and Natasha took advantage and ordered an on flight meal which one of the airhostesses bought to him. Using his left hand, as Steve was resting on his right, he happily munched away at his tomato sauce and pasta dish, Clint ordered the chicken and rice then Natasha had the mushroom ravioli. Steve sniffed and his eyes peeked open and when he saw the food he felt his stomach rumble "mmmm smells good." And within minutes he was digging into a bowl of steaming hot soup.

They were finally nearing the island and Bucky could see it out the small window, like Pepper had said it was small with lots of palm trees and the water was hundreds of different shade of blue, Bucky immediately knew this was going to be a beautiful island.

"How are we getting onto the island?" Steve said looking at Tony who had just walked into main sitting area.

"No one told you?" Natasha looked at Steve confused, Steve shook his head in response "we can't land the jet so were parachuting down."

They all got up and started strapping parachutes onto their backs. When one of the air hostesses offered Steve a chute he smiled "I don't need a parachute."

"Oh yes you do." Bucky took the chute and started putting it around Steve's waist. "How long is it going to be before you realise you are not invincible? I didn't survive the war and hydra just so I could let you die jumping out a plain without a chute! I can't lose you like that."

Tightening the parachute Steve said "relax Bucky" he leaned in and kissed Bucky lightly. "I'm not going anywhere." Bucky pulled Steve closer and kissed him.

"Alright love birds break it up." Tony said as Steve and Bucky jumped away from each other like two teenagers being caught by their parents. "Bucky do you know how to use a parachute?"

Bucky almost snorted "son I've been parachuting long before you were even born!"

"Do you know how old you sound?" Tony laughed.

"Hmmm, maybe that because I am?" Bucky said opening up the door and jumped out the plane. One by one everyone except Tony jumped out the plane and safely landed on the soft sand but Tony flew down in his iron man suit and heavily landed next to were Clint was standing.

"Let's go." Tony led them down a path way leading all the way to a small house that had massive windows and white walls, the path led up to a small flight of stairs. They all headed up the stars with their luggage behind them and entered into the house through a door that was at the top of the stairs. When inside all the avengers were amazed at how big it was inside. There was light streaming through from every direction. Next to the door was a few white cushioned sofa and a big plasma screen in the other corner was a kitchen with trimmed counters and fitted cupboards.

They all toured the house looking round the rooms available and then deciding where everyone would be sleeping. Arguments broke out, Clint wanted the upstairs bedroom because he liked being high up but Natasha wanted the basement room because it was quieter down there, Tony and Pepper had their own specific room but Pepper was insisting that Jane and Thor should take it as Thor was easily the biggest out of all of them and would need more space but Tony was having a tantrum saying his ego needed a room for itself. Steve and Bucky just waited until everyone had picked then they just had whatever room was left.

Once everyone was settled in their rooms, both Steve and Bucky tackled the stairs all the way up to the top floor where there was a small ladder leading to the attic that had been converted into a spacious double room, Bucky jumped onto the bed and sighed when he felt how comfortable this bed was.

"We might have to get this bed moved to stark tower." Bucky said grabbing Steve's wrist making him drop the t-shirts he'd just folded and dragging him onto the bed to show him how comfy it was.

"Mmm yeah your right this will be nice to sleep in tonight." Steve said as he rolled to Bucky's side and started kissing Bucky's neck. Bucky moved his arm up Steve's back when there was a knock at the door.

"Knock knock! Sorry to interrupt but we're all going down to the beach in 20 minutes or so, do you want to join?" Pepper asked politely.

"That would be lovely, we'll be down soon. Thank you Pepper" Steve said smiling until she had left. Steve pecked Bucky's cheek then rummaged around his bag to find his swimming trunks, "where's my plain trunks?" Steve said holding up the two pairs of trunks.

"Don't blame me, when I asked if these were the trunks you wanted you almost bite my head off!" Bucky protested "just wear the American flag trunks!"

"I can't wear those!" Steve said examining the swim shorts "the rest of the group will never stop teasing me!"

"They're gonna tease you anyway even if you don't wear them but if it's too much of a problem just were the ones with the stars" Bucky said getting to his feet and looking through his bag for his trunks. Steve slipped his legs into the American flag trunks and Bucky put his trunks on as well. He'd received them as an extra Christmas present from Tony they were black with a gray trim with "Steve's" written across the butt. Bucky had been so excited to wear them for the first time.

Everyone was ready except Natasha, who according to Clint was refusing to come out just yet and would meet them at the beach when she was ready. They all walked barefoot down to the beach "hey! Whoever's the first one to the waters the winner?" Bucky said smiling at Clint who nodded then started speeding off to the water, Sam followed then Bucky and Thor. Bucky was clearly the fastest and zoomed past Sam shouting "on your left!"

"Oh come on. Not you to!" Sam moaned in frustration he tried running at full pace but it didn't really make a difference. Everyone else found a nice spot on the beach, lay down blankets and the basket with the picnic in. When everything was set up Steve and everyone else joined Bucky in the water, it was a nice lukewarm temperature but still a refreshing break from the constant head that seem to linger on the island.

The boys had bought a small beach ball and were just throwing it to one another when Sam accidently threw the ball to high and went straight over Bucky's head and onto the edge of the beach. Bucky went to retrieve the ball and looked up towards the house and saw Natasha making her was slowly down the beach looking very grumpy. When he took the ball back to the group he turned to Clint.

"Is everything okay with Natasha? She doesn't look to happy." Bucky asked Clint who just shrugged.

"I don't know when I asked her if she wanted to come swimming with us she snapped at me so I just decided to step back and give her some space." Clint explained and went back to throwing the ball. Bucky looked back at Natasha who was now sitting down on the towel in a big t-shirt and shorts she didn't look like she was coming to join them in the water so Bucky announced that he was going to get something to drink then went to go and talk to Natasha.

"You not gonna swim?" Bucky asked when he got closer.

"No... I think I'll just sit here for a while." Natasha said crossing her legs and getting out her sunglasses. Bucky dropped to the floor next to Nat and grabbed a bottle of water from one of the many bags.

"So, what is it?" Bucky asked after chucking down some water.

"What's what?" Nat said trying to look innocent but Bucky knew that she understood what he was getting at.

"Why do you have a face like thunder when you should be out playing in the sun like the rest of us?" Bucky said studying Nat's face to understand what going on. "Is it Clint?" Nat shook her head "is it the water?" Nat shook her head again "do you think you look fat in your swim wear?" Nat hesitated then shook her head. "So it's your swim suit?"

Natasha took a deep breath, "I don't want you to feel bad... I'm guessing you remember when you shot me near Odessa, Iran" Bucky nodded, "well you left a big scar and I haven't shown it to anyone except Steve and Clint or warn a bikini since and I don't think I'm ready for everyone to..." Natasha trailed off.

Bucky nodded, looked back at the all the avengers throwing around the ball "you see that lot, every single one of them have battle wounds. Clint's 80% deaf, Steve's is the man who's in the wrong era, Tony has nightmares, Thor has lost a brother, Sam has lost a wing and a wing man and I've lost my left arm. None of us are judging because everyone is a little broken and that's okay, it's the fact that were not perfect that makes us who we are, trust me every day I think about how lucky I am to have Steve, he deserves so much better but by some miracle he loves me and that's all I care about. We all love you no matter how many scars you have trust me I'm sure I have more than you." Bucky got to his feet and reached his hand out for Natasha who looked at it for a second then took it threw her clothes of revealing a white bikini with little jewels on it and walked with Bucky towards the water.

When they got to the others Steve saw Natasha's bikini "I thought you'd said bye bye to bikinis?"

"Turns out I didn't need to." Natasha smiled at Bucky.

"Well, like I said you look terrible!" Steve said in a jockey voice everyone stopped playing, looked from Steve to Natasha and they both just burst out laughing but no one could figure out why.

Natasha pushed some water into Steve's face "nice trunks Captain!" Steve pushed a wave of water at Natasha and missed getting Bucky wet instead and then eventually everyone was splashing water and it was like a massive water fight.

They were on the beach until the sun began to set and they watched as the sun sunk into the horizon and it slowly darkened.

Authors notes: **holiday part one! Whoooooo! This is a short-ish chapter hope you guys like it. I've been thinking of some ideas for future chapters but if you guys have an ideas that you would like to suggest I'll put it on the list and add it into my future chapters. Happy reading and thank you for my reviews! :)**


	20. holidays Chapter 20

It was hot but Bucky's arm was hotter. Bucky had taken to sitting with his arm in the fridge to keep it from burning anyone who touched it and this was most commonly Steve, he'd reserved more burns from Bucky's arm than he had from sun. Bucky wasn't only apologising to everyone for burning them but also for melting everything he touched. He melted the cutlery, he burst the beach ball and put hand imprints into the door handles.

Bucky and Steve were sitting in the shade, Steve was painting the avengers playing in the sea while Bucky leaned on Steve's left shoulder and watched him paint. "I don't think I've ever told you how good you are at drawing." Bucky said as Steve added some more detail to the faces of his team members.

"Thank you but I've had a lot of practice, there's not much else you can do when you're sick all the time." Steve replied modestly. Bucky lightly chuckled and closed his eyes taking deep breaths enjoying the time off from being an avenger, from being in the firing line of the publicity and having cameras shoved into his face.

"Steve?" Bucky asked after a few minutes of silence.

Steve flipped the note pad to a new page. "Yeah?" Steve mumbled as he'd put the paintbrush in his mouth.

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

Steve took the paint brush out his mouth, "huh?"

"Did it hurt when you fell heaven and crashed into the ice, freezing yourself for 70 years?" Bucky said keeping his eyes shut.

"wha..." Steve said frowning.

"Because that was a dumb as shit!" Bucky laughed.

"What's this about Bucky?" Steve said placing the note pad and brush down on the sand.

Bucky sat up straight "well, I've been reading up about everything you did when I was... gone.

"Other than dropping that plane into the ocean I haven't done anything to drastic..."

"Oh _really_ , what about when you dropped your shield when we were fighting on the helicarrier, you dropped your only line of defence in hope that I'd remember you? _Really_? I could have killed you, Steve!" Bucky said raising his eyebrows slightly.

"But it's okay because you did remember and now I've got you back." Steve smiled.

"But what if I didn't, I would have killed you. You have to stop doing stupid things that are going to get you killed! You have to promise me!"

"I've already promised you that and also that I'm going to be safer when guns are involved." Steve said trying to defend himself.

"Promise me!" Bucky said in a stern voice. "I feel like I need to keep you to keep promising me as you have a short memory span."

"I promise." Steve said taking Bucky's hand "And I'll have you know my memory is pretty good." They snuggled back together and watched the sun go down.

After a few days on the island the warm weather went away and the rain arrived. The rain was heavy and it seemed like it was never end. Luckily Bucky could have a break from his burning arm because the more rain that fell the cooler it got. The avengers grew very board and in an effort to save themselves they all sat around the dining room table playing a game of monopoly.

"I have literally not played this game in decades!" Steve said taking his go and ending up in jail, "and I forgot how much I hate It." everyone laughed. Steve was rubbish just like always and so was everyone else when comparing with Tony who just bought everything he landed on and he seemed to get all the lucky cards.

"Can we play something else now? I hate losing!" Natasha said throwing a bundle of money towards tony after she landed on one of his streets with 2 hotels house.

"No! I'm winning!" Tony complained.

"we have a wii here, how about we do a Mario kart tournament" Clint suggested and everyone got excited and forced Tony to set up the old wii and slip Mario cart in. Clint, Bucky, Sam and Natasha all grabbed a remote control and picked their characters, Clint was Waluigi because he likes purple, Bucky was Mario because he didn't know who everyone else was, Sam was Luigi because Bucky took Mario and Natasha was Peach because she's a 'badass in a dress'.

And so it began.

After a few games in Natasha was in first place followed closely by Bucky who was strangely okay at this game, then Sam was 4th and Clint happened to be terrible at this game coming in last place he was in the middle of a tantrum. Clint threw the remote on the sofa and refused to play the next race even though it was his idea to play in the first place and left the room without another word.

"Sorry about Clint, he's a bad looser. Steve, do you want to play?" Natasha said offering Steve the spare remote.

"I'll give it a go." Steve sat down between Bucky and Sam "what do I do?" they explained the remote controls to him and started on the next race. Steve loved it, he zoomed around the track in his little go-kart and by the end of his first race Steve had manage to get to first place.

Throughout the second race Sam complained "you were frozen for 70 years how can you be good at this game!"

Steve overtook Sam and shouted 'on your left' as he dashed past him and crossed the finish line.

"Steve you don't need to shout on your left every time you overtake someone!" Sam continued complaining.

"I know its fun that way." Steve said high-fiving Bucky as they seemed to have formed a team hitting each other's target for each other and keeping each other securely in first place. "I like this more than monopoly."

Overall Bucky came first, Natasha second, Steve was third then Sam fourth. Sam was highly peeved to come last as he was the only one who really had enough time to get any good at this game.

They all agreed it would probably be best not to play anymore games as they really didn't need any arguments between the avengers. Clint had calmed down a lot and apologised for his sudden outburst and sat down next to Natasha. Thor and Jane wondered in through the back door they'd been taking very long strolls around the island and then taking long swims in the sea. Pepper and Tony had barely come off their tablets and phones. Maria hill and Sam had been talking strangely a lot and everyone could see them flirting with each other even if they didn't realise that is what they were doing.

"Alright everyone listen up!" Steve stood up and looked at him, "we came on this holiday to take a break and for the whole time we've been here everyone had gone and done their own thing. As well as resting and 'recharging our batteries' we came on this holiday to regroup and became a team again!"

"Yeah and?" Clint said asking, in a sarcastic tone, what everyone was thinking.

"We'll let's regroup, do something together then." Steve said staring at Clint.

"How about we all take a stroll around the island I think me and Thor are the only ones who's done it yet." Jane suggested.

"Why not?" Pepper said. Everyone agreed to go even if some needed to be persuaded and a little kick out the door. They walked along the sand at a steady pace talking about everything, there wear jokes, story's and just plain old fashioned convocation. Everything when a little silent, bucky and Steve wear walking hand in hand in the front when Bruce spoke up from the back of the group.

"Bucky? Do you walk like you've got swagger?" Bruce was curious why when Bucky walked it was like when a teenager walked down a high street. He moved his shoulders from side to side every time he took a step.

Everyone watched Bucky walk a little further "yeah I see it, it's like he's got a limp" Clint added.

"I haven't got a limp."Bucky said turning round to the others. "I walk like this because my left arm is heavier than my right and when I walk it's like I'm dragging my arm along with me." Everyone looked blankly at Bucky; Bucky's arm was one of the subjects they didn't bring up often. "It's okay though, I think it makes me look cooler when I'm walking down the street. Plus before the war this was how all the men walked apart from Steve who just waddled after me like a little puppy."

Steve playfully punched Bucky's arm, then buck took Steve into a headlock and messes up his hair, when Steve finally got out of Bucky's grip he restyled his hair and they all continued walking. The rain had cleared and the weather had cheered up a lot the sky had come out one more and was drying the sad quicker than it took to get wet.

The holiday was nearing its end, they had to get back to work eventually and they couldn't just leave New York defenceless because last time they did a corrupted Asguardian caused a lot of trouble for them and a lot of mess to clear. In just a few days they would be heading home and saying good bye for now to the island but they all knew they will return back to as they had a great time living here away from the madness of being home.

Author's notes: **Apologies, It took me forever to write this chapter (not the best one I've written so far, but what can I do...) hope you like it anyway and look forward to your reviews. Sorry it took me so long school took me by surprise didn't realise how much work I'd have this year but I'm now ahead and should be moving on with my next chapter very soon. Thank you to Candi and mmelody6 for my constant lovely reviews. 3 :)**


	21. shopping Chapter 21

Everyone was sad to be back at home except Bucky who was glad he could hug Steve without turning him into toast. Luckily they both didn't have to go out on a mission until tomorrow so they could spend the whole day to themselves.

"Do you want to go shopping?" Steve asked Bucky, looking up from his newspaper. They were both sitting in front of the TV; they weren't watching it was just background sound.

Bucky was sitting cross legged on the floor in-between the sofa and the coffee table playing cards by himself just to pass the time, "I don't need anything" Bucky said puzzled. Because his family was poor he was so used to only going shopping when he needed something but now that he was earning money and there was no rations or shortage of anything he forgot he could just go out and buy anything he wanted with Steve's permission first of course.

"Okay then let's just stroll around until we see something we want?" Steve suggested Bucky nodded jumping up to get out of his sweat pant and into a white t-shirt and blue jeans. When he entered the main room he saw that Steve was wearing almost the exact same outfit.

"You have to change." Bucky protested.

"I was wearing this first! You change!" Steve shot back.

"Why?" Bucky moaned

"Because I said so." Steve said with a stern look.

Bucky re-entered the main room wearing; a black short sleeved t-shirt with a gray hoodie zipped to the top, to hide his left arm and a darker pair of blue jeans. "better?" Bucky said sarcastically.

Steve moved over to where Bucky stood, unzipped the jacket a little and adjusted the hood, "perfect." Steve said kissing Bucky's forehead and move towards the elevator. The grabbed their coats as it was still cold outside especially if you compare it to Hawaii and went down to the garage, Steve had his motorbike bought over from Washington and this was the first time he'd ridden it since leaving.

"Oh how I've miss it." Steve said swinging a leg over the seat of the motorbike, Bucky did the same and wrapped his arms around Steve and rested his chin on Steve's shoulder. The wind rushed through their hair until they had to pull over and tie up Bucky's hair because he it kept wiping him in the eye. They didn't go far before parking the bike and when they both got off they put on their baseball caps in an effort to hide their faces and started strolling down the street.

Walking closely next to Steve, Bucky whispered "do you think it's okay if I hold your hand?"

"Who cares?" Steve laced his fingers through Bucky's and they walked down the street together unnoticed until a gust of wind blew Steve's hat straight of his head revealing the face of Captain America that everyone knows almost too well. A flood of people swarmed around them all wanting a picture with the legend himself. Steve and Bucky tried pushing on but the storm was not going away anytime soon. Bucky tugged Steve along when he lost his grip and was pushed to the back of the group surrounding Steve, he tried getting back to Steve but the people were being stubborn and he couldn't get back to Steve. Eventually he heard Steve's voice "...so if you could respectfully let me get back to my day off I would deeply appreciate it." there was a disappointed awww from the civilians and the clump of people separated following Steve's wishes.

When Steve got back to Bucky he almost flung himself into a hug, "this is why I need a secret identity." Steve said into Bucky's neck and he chuckled in response.

"let's get some food." They walked a little until they found a small pizza restaurant, they were both starving so they orders straight away, Steve had the pepperony and Bucky had the meat feast they were both eating in piece and talking about 5 things they missed from the past, when Bucky felt something tugging on his sleeve; he looked down to see a little girl with small pig tails looking up in awe at him.

"hello little one," Bucky looked around and couldn't see an adult she might belong to "where's your mum and dad?" he asked her in a voice that you only use when talking to children, Bucky had always been good with kids he had lots of younger siblings who were likely all gone now just like everyone else he once knew apart from Steve. Even when he was the winter soldier he had a lot of self-control (which didn't come round often) when it came to children.

"They're over there" she pointed to a table across restaurant where two people were sitting eating, having not realised their child running away to speak to a stranger. "You're my favourite." The little girl said suddenly.

He frowned "favourite what?" Bucky was confused she'd changed conversation so quickly he hadn't caught on what she was talking about.

"Avenger!" the little girl informed him.

"Me?" he was still confused. "Are you sure you don't mean Ste..."

"No I do mean you, look if even drew a picture of us" she handed him a small A4 drawing of him and the little girl, Bucky was standing on what looked like grass and had a speech bubble that read 'I'll protect you' she smiled at Bucky and waited for his opinion. He opened his mouth but no words came out he didn't know what to say. "Could you sign it for me?" the little girl held up a crayon, before he could stop them, tears began running down his face.

"Sorry I don't know what..." Bucky took a deep breath and wiped the tears away "thank you... what's your name?"

"Rebecca Thornton but my friends all call me Becca." She shyly shrugged.

"My sister was called Rebecca, you remind me of her a little because she liked having her hair in pig tails to and she like drawing." Bucky smiled down Rebecca and began to scribble down his name in the corner of the page. He handed back the drawing, it said 'dearest Rebecca, thank you for your wonderful drawing and I hope that you grow up to be strong enough that you won't need someone to protect you but always know if you do need someone to help you when you're scared, know that we're never far away and will be happy to protect you. James _Bucky_ Barnes.' When she read what he'd written her face light up and she smiled all the way back to her table.

Bucky sniffed and turned back to Steve, he had not been expecting that. Steve smiled "that was adorable."

Bucky just nodded.

Bucky was still incredibly shocked at little Rebecca when they were walking around the men's cloths shop about an hour later. Steve had said that they needed to get Bucky some new t-shirts as they kept getting caught on his left arm and ripping the fabric which meant he could only get one or two uses out of each t-shirt. "We should really talk to Tony about maybe getting him to do something about you arm, like making it smoother or less prone to malfunction."

"and get rid of the ugly red star." Bucky added. They carried on shopping walking in and out of shops when Bucky suddenly stopped and walking into a big toy shop. "Oh my god we have to get this!" Bucky picked up a small stuffed teddy bear wearing captain America outfit. "I actually think this is more adorable than you!"

Steve raised his eyebrows. "I don't think so, put it back."

Steve and Bucky both left the store with an extra bag that contained a new stuffed teddy bear. The journey home was quick and before long they were back in stark tower emptying their shopping bags.

An excited Nat rushed into the apartment, she was wearing leggings with striped fluffy socks and one of Clint's jumpers "grate! You back, you have to come and play twister with us, were all in the games level. Hurry." She ran up to them both grabbed their wrists and pulled them to the games level.

When they entered they found the red, blue, yellow and green mat sprawled across the floor and the game about to started, they paused to explain the rules to Steve, Bucky and Thor who'd never played before. Bruce was on the spinner and the game began. With in just a few turns Steve was already working out that he didn't like this game at all. Natasha on the other hand was a pro and was doing a hand stand in the centre of the twister mat. Bucky had his left arm hold his weight and his right leg in-between Natasha's arms and in one swift movement he kicked her arm's out from beneath her and she came crashing down. She was swearing in very loud Russian at Bucky who spoke fluently back at her, what they were saying sounded very serious but looking at their faces everyone knew they were only joking.

After a few more turns Steve pretended to fall and got up and sat down next to Natasha. "That's quite a game." Steve said leaning his shoulder against Nat's.

"Well if it hadn't been for your BOYFRIEND" she shouted so Bucky would hear and he looked over at them and smiled "I would still be in the game"

"You were showing off." Bucky explained

"prosto podozhadat' moyego druga" Nat said in Russian.

"Oh I'm so scared." Bucky said in a sarcastic tone then turned back to the game.

"What did you say?" Steve inquired.

"I said 'just you wait my friend'. So how are things going between you two?"

"Good, really really good." Steve told Natasha about the little girl Rebecca approaching Bucky earlier that day.

"That's good for him. I think he needed that he defiantly seems happier today." Natasha said. They both watched Bucky play the game for a while when Tony's foot slipped and knocked everyone over and the group burst out laughing.

While the rest of the group where focused on laughing Steve whispered to Natasha, "can you keep a secret?"

"Do I need to remind you who you're talking to?" Nat pointed to her face.

"No" Steve laughed paused for a second then added "I'm going to ask Bucky to marry me." Natasha was speechless.

Author's notes: **it's only been 3 days but I seem like much longer. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. It was interesting to write, I didn't know how Bucky would react to someone saying they like him the most, so tell me what you though. Thanks guys for the reviews and thank you for still following my story. Ps during the twister game there's a line of speech from Natasha in Russian that's not actual Russian just how you pronounce it, the real way it's written is a lot more complicated.**


	22. the ring Chapter 22

In the country side of grater London, Steve and Bucky were both running as fast as they could down the aisle on a train, their mission was to overpower a small group of terrorists on a high speed train they had planned to put the train at full speed and send it straight into a waterloo station, the busiest rail station in Britain, inevitable killing hundreds of people. Currently they were in the middle of no were and in an effort to stop the oncoming collision Steve had place a bomb that would blow up the train before it could even see the station.

They had less than a minute to plant the bomb and jump of the train, as they neared the tail end Bucky wiped out his gun while running, shot several times at the lock and as the door swung open both Steve and Bucky jumped. As they were in the air the explosion sent a shockwave tossing the two men meters into the air. They were both flung through some of the surrounding trees and on the way down the branches and leaves cut their skin like it was paper.

Steve groaned in pain as he sat up. "That was a terrible idea" Steve announced as he rubbed that back of his neck while wincing a little.

Bucky also sat up and turned to look at him "Steve! That was your idea!"

"I know I know!" Steve got to his feet and offered his hand to Bucky, who took it and jumped up.

They both walked hand in hand along the train line until they came across the remains of the train. Luckily the train had been empty and the entire group of terrorist had jumped off when they heard the avengers were tracking them and their movements. They called in the coordinates to the 'damage control' who cleaned up after any mission that got a little mess, They did everything from cover stories to cleaning up the mess left behind and witnesses, the attack on New York was the most stressful time for them.

"you know if I wasn't going out shopping with Natasha later I would suggest we stayed in London for a while, you know do some sightseeing." Steve told Bucky as they walked onto the jet, took off and started heading home.

"Maybe next time. Why you going shopping with Nat?" Bucky curiously asked.

"Um... she wants my opinion on a dress she wants to buy; she says Clint was the worst person to shop with, he only like dresses that she hated." Steve said switching autopilot on. He wasn't lying about shopping with Natasha but it was actually Steve was the one how needed Nat's opinion. They were going ring shopping.

"I look forward to seeing this dress. What she buying it for?" Bucky asked sitting down in the co-pilot seat.

"Does a girl need a reason to buy a dress?" Steve said almost a little too defensively.

"Just asking, I was getting a little worried that it was her birthday and I didn't know or I had forgotten." Bucky said putting his hands up in surrender.

"Sorry" Steve looked out over the clouds "I don't think I'll be long today, hopefully we'll be in and out in no time." Steve said closing his eyes.

"You better not be, you need cuddle time, it's only 10 am and you're already cranky." Bucky and Steve both chuckled.

Natasha was waiting for them when the jet landed; she was leaning against her car smiling when she saw the Steve approaching her. Bucky kissed Steve goodbye and started for the elevator. Steve jumped into the passenger seat of Natasha's black Corvette Stingray and started driving into town.

"As we didn't get to talk about it very much yesterday, how are you going to propose?" Nat asked.

Steve sighed "I have absolutely no idea. It has to be special but also privet at the same time, I don't think Bucky's is such a big fan of the public right now." Steve said to Nat.

"Understandable." Tasha nodded.

"I was actually hoping you could give me some ideas." Steve said hopefully.

"What makes you think I know anything about this stuff?" Natasha laughed, "The longest relationship I've had has been with Clint, it's one of the few things he knows more about than I do."

Spinning perfectly into a parking space, they both got out and walked directly into the jewellery shop.

"Good morning, Miss Romanoff." The shop keeper instantly said from behind the counter as they walked in. He was an old bald man with big glasses that made his eyes look like bug eyes and a deep Russian accent. He looked almost scared to see Natasha but Steve just though sometime she can have that effect on people especially when she's angry. "What can help you with today?"

"We're looking for engagement rings." Natasha said moving towards the glass counter and examining a selection of the rings.

The jeweller looked at Natasha then at Steve and back to Natasha, "congratulations, I'm sure you two will be very happy together."

"Oh no were not together." Steve said awkwardly.

"Oh I see, well I have a lovely selection here..." he pulled out a tray full of rings some with diamonds some with studs, others with sapphires and a few with engravings on. "My personal favourite is this lovely gold ring with the centre diamond and two rubies either side."

"I don't think that the kind of thing I'm looking for" Steve looked around at some of the other rings and found nothing that caught his eye; he wanted the ring to be personal to Bucky and himself.

Suddenly his pocket started vibrating. Steve wiped out his phone and tried to remember how to use the touch screen. "Hello? This is Steve Rogers."

" _HELLO STEVE!"_ Bucky shouted.

"Bucky you don't need to shout!" Steve said holding the phone away from his ear.

" _Tony!"_ Steve heard Bucky say over the phone then the sound of Tony moaning in pain as Bucky punched him, " _tony told me that nowadays you had to shout into the clever phones."_

" _Their called smart phones you idiot!"_ Tony said over the phone. You could almost hear in his voice that he was rolling his eyes.

"Is there something you need?" Steve said trying to get back on subject.

" _yes I wanted to call you because tony helped me set up this_ Smart _phone and the only number I have so far is you so I'm just calling to tell you that I love you."_ Bucky said over the phone.

"I love you too." Steve replied, "I'll see you when I get home."

" _Okay, I still love you."_ Bucky said and the line went quiet.

Steve put his phone back into his pocket and was just about to around to the shop keeper to tell him he couldn't find a ring and was going to look elsewhere, when he had another look at the rings with the engraving and he had an amazing idea.

Steve hid the ring box in his bed side table and would keep it there until he found the perfect opportunity to ask Bucky to marry him. As he shut the draw Bucky walked in the room and walked straight to Steve and pulled him into a tight hug. "I love you." Bucky whispered.

"Are you okay?" Steve asked.

"Yeah I just felt I hadn't told you that I loved you for a while." Bucky replied, lightly kissing Steve.

Steve pulled away, "you told me you loved me like two hours ago."

"I know but that was so long ago!" Bucky said leaning in once more to kiss Steve, this time Steve was didn't pull away.

Bucky was lying in bed that night next to Steve in their usual position. Bucky's dream was nothing but blackness then a flash of the small pre-serum Steve strapped into the chair hydra used to wipe the winter soldier's mind. He looked 100 times worse than Bucky had ever seen him after back alley fight; he was pale, bruised and scared just how Bucky would have looked after his torture. Bucky called out to Steve but he was paralysed, the words 'wipe him' rung through Bucky's head. Bucky watched helplessly as the machine lowered around Steve's small head making zapping noises as it prepared. It was horrible to listen to Steve's screams.

Bucky shouted Steve's name as he sat up. Steve was already awake and had a worried look all over his face. Bucky had been shouting Steve's name out while he was dreaming and no matter how hard Steve tried he couldn't wake Bucky from the nightmare. Bucky was panting and when Steve put his hand on his shoulder, Bucky jumped like he'd forgotten her was there. Steve pulled Bucky close and waited for him to calm down.

"What happened?" Steve asked when Bucky had composed himself.

"It was just a nightmare" Bucky said taking in deep breaths.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Steve offered.

"No. Not really." Bucky swallowed and lay back down he opened his arms to allow Steve to lie down next to him and hug him tightly, Steve hesitated before sliding into Bucky's arms. They lay in silences listening to Bucky's arm buzz. "Steve?" Bucky whispered.

"yeah?" Steve whispered back.

"Nothing." Bucky closed his eyes and he saw pre-serum Steve again. "Steve?"

"Yeah?" Steve repeated.

"Don't worry." There was another pause. "Steve?"

"I'm still here Bucky and I'm not going anywhere." Steve said without even opening his eyes. Eventually Steve drifted back to sleep but Bucky couldn't close his eye's without seeing his nightmare again. Bucky hoped out of bed and reach under his bed and pulled out a knife he'd strapped to the bed frame just encase they were attached in the night. He moved to the chair in the corner of the room as he could see the door, the window and Steve. He normally did this when he couldn't sleep, when he'd just had a nightmare and he felt venerable or scared he always felt better knowing he was protecting Steve from anyone who attempted to harm or take Steve from him. Then when the sun started to rise he would climb back into bed and pretend he'd been asleep the whole time so Steve wouldn't worry about him.

Steve knew about Bucky not sleeping but he did nothing, you can't force people to sleep, unless you freeze them in ice something they both knew about all too well.

Author's notes: **another chapter finished. I just want to thank everyone who reads my story thank you and your reviews never fail to make me smile and brighten up my day. Hope you all like this chapter and are looking falward to the chapters that are coming up, I still haven't thought of a way for him to propse yet so I'll see how things go :)**


	23. finding the right moment Chapter 23

Steve straightened his tie and styled his hair. He picked up the ring box and dropped it into his pocket. He'd decided that tonight was the night. When he told Natasha she was over the moon with happiness. They had a dinner reservation at another big fancy restaurant that had been recommended to them.

Bucky was sitting on the sofa wearing a smart black suit and had his hair pulled back into a neat bun when he saw Steve he got to his feet. "You look great." He said looked at him from head to toe.

"You're not so bad yourself." Steve said taking Bucky's hand. A car was waiting for them as they walked out of stark tower. Bucky opened the door for Steve to climb in then got in after, they sat as close together as the seats would let them, holding hands and enthusiastically kissing. The car pulled up outside the restaurant and reluctantly Steve and Bucky pulled away from each other and got out. They walked up a few steps and into the lobby area, everything was candle lit and there were waiters rushing around in expensive suits and bow ties.

Steve strolled straight in but Bucky caught his wrist and pulled him back, "look, Steve, I know we can afford to eat in places like this now but when we have our date nights I'd rather go somewhere that's going to serve me burger and chips that are cooked to perfection the New York way." Bucky explained, he gestured to the restaurant "we can stay here tonight if you want but next time we come out can we just go somewhere a little more low key?"

"You know what?" Steve smiled "I was hoping you would say that. When Pepper recommended this place it didn't feel like she was a suggesting it more telling me to do it so I just when with it beacuse I've see Pepper angry, when Tony got back from the invasion of new York she found out about Tony taking the missile into the worm whole and she flipped telling me and the rest of the team that we should have convinced Tony not to do it and from that day I have made a mental note 'do not to get on her bad side'." They both turned away from the fancy restaurant and walked a few blocks before finding a small burger joint. When they entered people look at them strangely wondering why two men wearing classy suits just walked into a greasy burger joint. They ordered two yummy looking burgers that tasted just as good as they looked.

"Oh yes! I prefer this to the smallest but most expensive potion of food you could possibly get." Bucky took a big bite out of his burger then kept stuffing his face enjoying every mouthful then becoming very sad when it was all gone.

When they were finished the strolled hand in hand down the streets of New York. They were walking, talking and generally just enjoying each other's company. They were walking over a bridge when they both stopped in the centre and leaned ageist the edge looking out over the water below. There was no one around, Steve reached a hand into his pockets and fiddled with the ring box.

"Bucky... um... I..." Steve couldn't find the word, he didn't know what to say, something was wrong. Steve pulled his hand out his pocket without take the ring out, it just didn't feel right. Not yet.

"What is it?" Bucky frowned and put his hand on Steve's cheek.

"don't worry... I just... I wanted to... tell you I love you." Bucky smiled and lightly kissed Steve before carrying on walking.

Bucky walked into their apartment with his arm around Steve's waist they were both laughing, Natasha was slouched on the sofa but when she heard the two me entre she ran to them shouting "oh my god guys I'm so happy for you!" She hugged a confused Bucky then turned to Steve and when she hugged him he whispered in her ear that he hadn't proposed yet.

"Why are you happy for us?" Bucky asked.

Natasha was good at thinking on her feet and when she let go of Steve she lied and said "My Stucky twitter page got a new wave of followers because of your visit to London." Bucky raised his eyebrows and chuckled, he then excused himself to go and change out of his suit. When he was out of the room Natasha slapped Steve around the head.

"Ouch! What was that for?" Steve complained rubbing his head.

"For making me look like an idiot, a text message might have helped! Why didn't you pro..." she stopped when Bucky walked back into the room and moved across in track suits bottoms and a baggy captain America t-shirt and entered the bathroom "...why didn't you propose?"

"It didn't feel... special!" Steve said walking into the living space and dropping into the sofa. "I will do it; I just need the right situation." Steve said.

Over the next few weeks Steve tried almost everything to find the right situation and the perfect words to say to his soul mate. They went on lots of dates and days out, they went to Paris and climbed the stairs all the way to the top of the Eiffel tower but it was too windy for Bucky to hear what Steve was saying. Steve took Bucky to a baseball game as before the war Bucky loved taking Steve to the matches they'd both forgotten how much fun it was. They took lots of strolls but nothing seemed right until one night they were both having a lazy night, nothing special just sitting in front of the TV catching up on some must see films with all the other avengers. When the first film finished, Bucky was feeling really hungry.

"Wow I'm starving; I'd give my left for a slice of pizza right now." Everyone went quite they all knew that Bucky's arm was a 'delicate' matter and didn't know whether to laugh or just quickly order pizza, it was a really long silence until Steve let out a really ugly snort and everyone joined in with Steve's laughter.

Eventually after ordering and eating their pizzas pretty much one whole pizza each they moved back into the living room.

Steve was sitting at the end of the sofa with Natasha sitting on the floor leaning agents his legs Clint was sitting next to her with his hand buried in hers. Bucky was next to Steve with his head on his shoulder then Steve's head resting on Bucky's head. Next to Bucky was Tony who was cuddled up with pepper, Thor and Jane were both squished on the smaller sofa chair, Sam was sitting cross legged and leaning against the coffee table next to Bruce who was also leaning against the table. They all watch the first Jurassic park on the TV screen and Bucky couldn't help but snort at the film every time one of the characters did something stupid.

Steve looked around at everyone sitting in the room and thought to himself that there was nowhere he'd rather be at that moment, everyone was happy and for that moment he felt like he wasn't just around his team member, he was around friends.

Steve started to get up and Bucky lifted his head of his shoulder and asked "where you going?"

"You're about to miss the best part!" Sam told Steve.

"I'll be back in a second." Steve disappeared into their bedroom. Tony paused the film and everyone waited for Steve to return. When he finally did re-entered the room he was holding the ring box and Natasha gasped.

"what's happen..." Clint started before Nat interrupted.

"shhhhh" Natasha hissed at Clint.

Steve walked up to Bucky and pulled him to his feet leading him so that he was in front everyone that way they could see. Tony told Jarvis to turn the lights back on and Steve and Bucky stood facing each other. "What's happening?" Bucky asked Clint's question.

"Bucky, I've been trying to do this for weeks. There have been so many attempts at this." Steve started.

"hundreds!" Natasha agrees. Steve glared at her then smiled and carried on.

"I've been trying to make this perfect but I have come to realise that when it come to you and me all we need is each other and our new family" Steve gestured at the other avengers. Bucky still didn't know what was happening. "All those years ago we lost each other, you slipped through my fingers and for what I knew you were gone. We were granted a miracle, even if at times it didn't felt like one. After everything that happened, all your suffering and pain you fought for your freedom and above all odds we found each other again. I have never had a moments doubt, I love you, I believe in you completely you are my reason for life" Bucky's eyes swelled with tears and he tried to hide them by quickly looking at the ceiling and blinking a few times.

"Did I miss an anniversary or something?" Bucky said in a shaky voice.

Steve laughed, "No you haven't done anything wrong, you never have."

"Then what is this?" Bucky said when the tears were gone. Steve got down onto one knee and popped opened the little ring box revealing a plain gold ring with engravings on that read 'I'm with you 'till the end of the line'. "Oh my God!" Bucky gasped.

Steve looked up Bucky who now had floods of tears streaming down his face there was no way he could hide them this time, "I've loved you for decades, you've been a loyal friend and truly the most trust worthy person I know, you understand me when no one else does, you have my back even when I claim I don't need the help," Bucky hiccup-laughed "you're awake when I need you most and never far away from my thought. So for as long as I have left in this life there is no one I'd rather spend it with than you." Steve smiled and looked down like he was embarrassed he took a deep breath looked back into Bucky's deep blue eyes "James Barnes, will you marrying me?"

Bucky smiled through the tears he finally understood "yes, yes of course" Bucky pulled him up from the ground and flung his arms around him, he was sobbing into Steve's neck who had started tearing up to. They were both in their own little world that they hadn't noticed the other avengers applauding but they didn't stop hugging because they didn't ever want this moment to end.

Author's Notes: **So their engaged! Yay! This was fun to write I'd been busy this weekend (rugby world cup) and I'd been looking forward to writing this chapter for ages. I felt like Steve in this chapter not knowing what to type or how I wanted to go. I hope its okay. I used the some of the quoted Chris Evans has said in interviews and stuff to work out what he should say, but I do really like this chapter. I'm going to sleep now as it's like 2 o cloke in the morning where I am and I have school later today ;)**


	24. another hydra base Chapter 24

Bucky couldn't stop admiring his ring. He'd decided to put it on his right hand so he could feel it agents his skin. The words 'I'm with you 'till the end of the line' glistened as he moved his hand from side to side. All the avengers were on the Quinjet heading to a hydra base, it was too heavily guarded for just a few avengers, and all the team was required. The genital buzz of the jet was actually quieter than Bucky's arm.

The group were all arming up, Clint picked up his arrows, Tony got into his suit, Steve picked up his shield and prepared to jump out the back of the jet, Sam was putting his falcon wings on, Natasha loaded her guns, Bruce took out spear shorts, Thor was just ready all the time and Bucky was shoving knives in every pocket guns everywhere else also strapping one to his back just encase. When Bucky turned round Steve was nowhere to be seen.

"Where did Steve go?" Bucky asked the avengers, he already knew the answer but he didn't want to jump to any conclusions.

"He jumped already." Clint answered.

"Was he wearing a parachute?" Bucky asked in a serious tone.

Not noticing Bucky's tone Natasha laughed "does he ever" everyone was signalling for her to stop talking but without paying attention she carried on "the amount of times he's jumped out without a parachute I'm surprised he not dead and... ouch what was that for?" Clint had just elbowed her hard in the ribs when she saw Bucky's face she understood.

"I'm gonna kill him!" Bucky declared seriously. Everyone looked at him awkwardly not really knowing what to say. Bucky saw everyone just looking at him and he realised how violent he was toward his fiancée "then I'll lovingly nurse him back to health after and marry him but those are just miner details" everyone laughed. They circled back around and Bucky jumped letting his parachute fly out and he landed right next to Steve. There was gun fire in the distance. He unclipped himself from the chute and walked over to Steve's side hitting the back of his head as he did so.

"Ouch" Steve moaned.

"And where is your parachute?" Bucky accused.

Steve sighed "Are we seriously doing this _now_?" Steve raised his eyebrows.

"Yup" Bucky nodded.

"It's on the jet, I just forgot." Steve started moving toward the entrance of the base and Bucky walked alongside him.

"Look I don't want to wind up having no one to marry." Bucky took Steve's hand and they walked closer to the entrance. Bucky pulled out his gun with his free hand and shot a man who was speeding past on a motor bike.

"I've done it loads of times, it'll be okay." Steve said as he threw his shield knocking out two men, as it returned Bucky caught it and used it to protect him from a bullet that was coming towards him then passed it back to Steve. They strolled all the way to the front gate taking out a guard ever now and then.

" _Bucky_ " Tony's voice came through their ear piece " _could you give us a hand over here? We'll send falcon over to help Steve round front."_ Just as he said that Sam landed right next to Steve.

Bucky pulled Steve in for a kiss and when he pulled away he said "don't get yourself killed. I love you."

"I love you too" Steve smiled.

Bucky turned to Sam "don't let him get hurt pigeon or you'll have me to answer to. Understand?"

Sam nodded "sure thing."

Bucky rushed around the edge of the hydra base and he must have run almost half the way around when he eventually came across Tony and Natasha. All three of them went into the base through a back door that had been locked but Tony being the technical geek he is, had created a small devise that unlocked almost every door. Bucky went first and stormed through the door as he walked in he flung to knives one on his left and right hitting two men that were running towards him he did a flip ending in kicking a guard in the face he grabbed his unconscious body and used threw him 2 metres in front of him like he weighed nothing, the man landed on another guard knocking him out to. Bucky and Natasha went into the next room splitting away from Tony who was going to go and copy all the files the hydra base had. Both bucky and Natasha came across a door, "ladies first." Bucky stood back from the door allowing Natasha to go first.

When the door swung open a heavily built man rush towards Natasha, he pulled out a gun as he ran, Natasha grabbed the man's wrist and swung her legs around the man's neck he reached his free hand towards her hair and pulled as hard as he could. Bucky cringed "dude not the hair. You really don't know who you're fighting. In one single movement Natasha cracked something in the man's wrist, took his gun, planted her feet back on the ground, kicked his shins and as he fell to his knees she swung her hand with the gun in and smashed it into the guys head. He flopped to the floor like a fish without water.

"idiot." The man groaned a little and began to move again but before he could get up Natasha kneed him in the face. There was no one else in the room so Bucky had just been watching Natasha do her thing. The door on the other side of the room opened and immediately Bucky and Natasha both aimed their guns to kill.

At the same time Tony raised his hand in attach, all three of them lowered their weapons. "The buildings clear. How we looking outside, Capsical?" tony said to Steve over the ear piece.

" _Everything's clear but Steve's shot."_ Sam announced.

"What?!" anger rushed threw Bucky. Sam was meant to protect Steve. "Is he okay?"

" _Bucky, I'm okay"_ Steve replied " _Sam's over reacting, it's only a scratch nothing more than a flsh wound."_ Steve tried reassuring Bucky.

"You have a bloody shield, how can you still get shot?" Tony inquired.

" _he came from behind_ " Steve explained.

"guys, I'm really not in the mood, can we sort this out on the way home" Natasha spoke as the voice of reason, they all regrouped and boarded the Quinjet. They take off, Bucky is kneeling down next to Steve preparing a needle and thread, as the winter soldier he had to learn how to stitch up all his wounds as hydra would fix his arm and barley feed him but would only give him the materials to patch himself together they would never properly heal him they just stopped him from dying. After a few minutes of flying Natasha looks round at the tired avengers around her and noticed something odd. "Where's Clint and Bruce?"

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked around, Clint wasn't on the jet. " _so much for team work you bunch of shits."_ Clint's displeased voice rung through everyone's ear pieces. _"we could have been dead. It took you 14 minutes to realise I wasn't there."_ Clint sounded out of breath but it was still clear he was irritated.

"What were you doing? Why didn't you call in sooner?" Tony frowned as he asked Clint.

" _I was waiting for the big guy to calm down a few shade,"_ the hulk had been unleashed when a small army of hydra men came to the aid of falling hydra base, they were swiftly bulldozed down. "when _I managed to get him back to banner I found that my team had left without me. I waited to see how long it would take you."_ Clint complained.

"Sorry Clint." The team said in unison.

" _you will be! Come back and get us, lazy shits."_ Clint said then the line went silent.

Before anyone said anything they were zooming back to Clint's location. Clint strode into the jet took off his quiver and placed his bow in his compartment. Bruce stumbled in, he was always shattered when he hulked out, he hated every second of it. They both didn't say a word; Bruce just slipped on some headphones and wrapped himself in a blanket. Natasha walked over to Clint and put her arms around him and whispered something into his ear. The team watched as Clint listened then smiled, then chucked a little and kissed Nat's check, he turn back to the avengers and calmly say "no hard feelings guys." He then sat in the co-pilot seat and waited peacefully to arrive back at stark tower. A few eyebrows were raised but everyone decided that they'd got away with leaving team members behind and weren't going to push their luck.

A few hours later Steve was resting on the sofa the stitching was giving him a little bite of pain, he couldn't take pain killers just like he couldn't get drunk, they same rules applied. Bucky had Steve's head on his lap and was reading while Steve slept. Without realising, Bucky would find himself watching Steve sleep as he looked so peaceful. The elevator doors opened and Natasha, pepper, Tony and Clint walked in all discussing something.

"Can you be quiet Steve sleeping" Bucky whispered. Steve's eyes opened but he didn't move.

"Not anymore, I'm not." Steve corrected. "Can we help you?"

"We have a proposal." Natasha said excitedly. She and Clint walked hand in hand towards the sofa as she continued. "Were going to throw and engagement party!"

"Hummm, Thank but no thanks," Bucky shook his head, "Tony's parties always leave me with really bad headaches. I'm 96 I'm just not the party animal I once was."

"Let do it, I love it when Bucky's drunk he comes out with the weirdest things." Steve said looking up at Bucky who looked a little embarrassed.

"That's settled then, we'll invite a few people, it's going to be a small gathering." Pepper said she wipped out her phone and started planning the event. Knowing pepper this isn't going to be a event.

Author's notes: **another chapter posted. Not much happened in this chapter but at the same time still quite an eventful one. I didn't get much time to Wright over the last few days because it's been crazy and I've had lots to do. Tell me what you think and if you have any suggestions on something you want in the wedding don't hesitate to let me now. Thanks for reading :)**


	25. Peggy Chapter 25

Small gatherings were not in peppers nature before they knew it they had invited almost 200 people about 150 more than they'd planed. Bucky was getting nervous "what if people didn't like me? Or think I'm not good enough for you?"

"It doesn't matter what they think, I love you. You love me. _That's_ all that matters."" Steve said answering Bucky's questions. They were both sitting in the living space on the 4th floor; they were just sitting in the silence talking about the wedding and the engagement party, not planning just brainstorming. Steve wanted this wedding to be special for both of them but he was worried that pepper would get to involved and take over. Steve didn't want a camera crew following them around on their big day.

Bucky had his head on Steve's lap and was facing the ceiling he closed his eyes and smiled "I want a really big cake." Bucky reopened his eyes and sat up. "I mean really big!"

Steve chuckled "okay then I want a band that does music from the old days. None of this rubbish they listen to nowadays." Steve turned thoughtful "who should I pick for my best man?"

"Me" Tony said as he strolled into the 4th floor.

Steve burst out laughing and stopped when he realised Tony was being serious, "you're joking right?"

"No. Why would I joke about that? I'd be a great Best man." Tony threw himself onto the sofa opposite and requested an answer that Steve was too polite to give.

"Well... um... I just think... um... maybe you're not the most... um... reliable... man... for the job." Steve shifted uncomfortable, he didn't want to be rude "planning a wedding is hard and looking back at our past arguments, if we disagreed about something... we could start ... um... a war" Steve's phone began to ring and he sighted in relief. "Sorry I have to take this" he picked up the phone "hello? this is Captain Rogers..." Steve got up and walked swiftly into the other room.

Bucky looked at Tony who looked a little disappointed, "do you want to be my best man?" Tony looked over at Bucky in surprise. Bucky had intended to ask Clint to be his best man because he feels he's better friends with him than any other man on the team, he hadn't even considered Tony until now.

"Really?" Tony frowned "wouldn't you prefer someone like Thor or Clint or..." Tony shrugged "Natasha?"

"Yeah their all grate but can you imagine our stag do! It would be awesome." Bucky smiled at Tony. "Besides my first choice would have been Steve but that is no how it works so I chose you."

"I'm offended!" Natasha said jumping over the back of the sofa and landing next to Bucky.

"About what?" Tony frowned.

"That I wasn't Bucky's first choice, subtracting Steve from the equation anyway. Tony? Really? I would be a better best man, even _Clint_ would be a better best man." Natasha shook her head.

Clint said standing behind Natasha "I'm sensing that was an insult but yes I would be better." He was leaning against the sofa with his hands on Natasha's shoulders.

Steve walked back into the room "Okay... yeah... um I'll be there by tomorrow morning at the latest. Thank you... bye" he said as he hung up on the phone. "Bucky can I have a word?" Steve said is a dull voice.

"Yeah sure" Bucky answered starting to get up then turned to the others, "sorry we'll have to talk about best man later" Steve and Bucky both walked back to their level "what's up?" Bucky asked after noticed Steve's mood. Ever since he'd got off the phone he'd been a little distant.

"I have to go to Washington tonight." Steve said.

Bucky frowned. "What's happened?"

"It's Peggy... um she's caught the flu and they don't know how serious it's going to get and are worries she might..." Steve's voice trailed away. "Her family just called me, to ask if I wanted to visit her just encase." Steve looked down at the floor.

"I'm coming with you." Bucky announced

Steve shook his head "you don't have to, I'll just..."

Bucky interrupted "I'll just be there for support for the worst-case scenario and I don't remember much but I do remember Agent Carter."

They both walked into the hospital, Steve hadn't said a word since leaving Stark tower. Bucky knew how important Peggy was to him, other than Bucky, Peggy was the only person to really appreciate Steve for who he was and not captain America for what he did. Peggy bought out a quality in Steve that Bucky had always admired but at the same time he'd always felt jealousy fill up inside him.

Bucky walked up to the receptionist and was about to ask where he could find Peggy's room but Steve just walked straight in without hesitation. Within minutes they were knocking on the door of Peggy's room, a small voice with a British accent called out to them followed by a horrid sounding cough.

"Steve?" Peggy sounded shocked as Steve poked his head through the door.

"Hey Peggy" Steve smiled kindly. He moved closer to the left side of her bed. There was only a young boy by her right side who Steve knew to be Peggy's son.

Peggy's face light up when he came closer "Steve" she reached out a hand and Steve took it in his own, he leaned over and lightly kissed Peggy's forehead he pulled up a chair next to her bed. Peggy started coughing and after she composed herself she looked over to Bucky who was standing awkwardly in the doorway. As far as Peggy was aware Bucky had died in 1944. The last time Bucky had spoken to Peggy was before he left with Steve on their mission to take down hydra.

 _The howling commandos were preparing to leave; they were getting ready to go out into Germany taking down all the hydra bases that they knew about. Everything had been loaded onto the truck and the team were ready to go. Steve walked over to Peggy, "well, I don't know when we'll be seeing each other again but I hope it's soon." Steve said._

" _it won't be too long, I'm sure." Peggy smiled looking into Steve's deep blue eye one of the howling commandos called out from the truck telling Steve to hurry up. "You should go, don't be late." Steve nodded goodbye and turned to leave when Peggy stopped him. Without saying a word she slipped a piece paper into Steve's hand, Steve took it a jogged to the truck._

 _Bucky walked passed Peggy bowing his head respectfully "ma'am"_

" _Sergeant Barnes might I have a word." Peggy smiled as Bucky nodded in reply. "I was wondering if you could watch over Steve, I know I need not remind you but I do fear. I also know that you would do anything to protect Steve but please keep your safety in mind before you do anything reckless."_

" _ma'am, ever since I was a child it has always been my job to care for Steve and protect him, I would do anything to save his life, even if it costs my own. However Steve can be very dramatic so I do promise to protect him from his own stupidity." Bucky started for the truck when Peggy said one final thing._

" _If you're protecting Steve from doing stupid things, who's going to protect you?"Peggy asked._

 _Bucky look back "We all have to make sacrifices for the one's we love ma'am." Bucky jumped into the truck and sat down next to Steve, he was looking at the piece of paper Peggy had given to him, it was a little round picture of her from a newspaper she'd been in, Steve pulled out his compass it was the perfect size to fit in the lid. Bucky looked at Steve and thought about Peggy's words._

Bucky had tried to look his best so as to not frighten Peggy he'd pulled his hair back and covered his arm with a baggy hoodie but the buzzing could still be heard. "You seem to have bought a friend with you." Peggy smiled.

Everyone turned to look at Bucky, "I'm a friend of Steve's" her son looked at Bucky from head to toe with judgment in his eye's he knew exactly who Bucky was, his trial had been very public.

"You look awfully familiar, have I met you before?" Peggy narrowed her eyes at Bucky. Before Bucky could answer Peggy started coughing again and she winced in pain closing her eyes momentarily when she opened them again she had a distant look then Panic spread across her face, she had forgotten where she was and when she saw Steve she calmed down a lot. She smiled then turned to her right and saw her son; she pulled a confused face "hello darling, when did you get here?"

"I never left mum." Her son told her.

"Oh... I see" peg turned sad. Bucky shifted his Weight from one foot to the other Peggy looked up at Bucky, "You seem to have bought a friend with you. Have I met you before young man?" Peggy repeated.

Bucky shook his head "no ma'am" he thought it would be easier not to explain to her who he was, it's a long story.

"Strange, he reminds me of a man I once knew, you're best friend Steve, Sergeant Barnes, a truly amazing man and friend." Peggy smiled to herself. "It's so sad what happened to him, he looked after you so well, Steve. He didn't deserve what happened to him."

Authors notes: **I know it's a little bit of a sudden ending but I haven't posted all week, I just haven't had time. I can't work out who Bucky would trust most to be his best man so any suggestion would be useful. Thank you. I would like to post another chapter soon and wont take to long :) thank you ;)**


	26. engagement party Chapter 26

It was their last day with Peggy, she had gotten much better and by some miracle she'd managed to pull through. Steve wanted to stay longer with Peggy but their engagement party was tonight he was still sitting in the same place he'd been all week, everyday Steve and Bucky had listened to Peggy tell stories of the old days, of her life after the war, the creation of shield and details about her family.

"Before Steve became the captain he had to go through training." Peggy told Bucky, Bucky had told her that he was a friend of Steve's and they'd met recently, Bucky felt it was best not to confuse her with his elaborate past and Peggy might not have believed Bucky anyway. Peggy laughed at a memories "I remember one time in his first week one of the officers through a grenade into the centre of my fitness training exercises." She laughed again "we all jumped to cover and Steve heroically jumped onto it in an attempt to save our lives." Peggy laughed loudly.

Bucky tilted his head in Steve's direction "did you now." Steve went a dangerous shade of red.

"Of course it was a DUD but we didn't know that" Peggy added smiling when she saw how red Steve was.

"It was nothing; I was never in any danger." Steve said in a small voice.

"Don't be so modest, it was brave thing you did besides it's not like it was the first time you did something like that." Peggy said making Bucky to shake his head in disappointment.

Steve got up "excuse me; I need to get some water." Steve almost ran out of the room.

Peggy turned to look at Bucky and giggled, they were alone. Peggy's son had barely spent any time with them Bucky knew why, he could see her son giving him sideways glances he knew who Bucky was and about his past, it had been all over the news during his trial. Bucky felt a little uncomfortable, he didn't know what to say to Peggy, "I think I'll go and check on Steve..." Bucky walked to the door but Peggy's voice stopped him.

"Don't think I don't remember you." Peggy said in a stern voice.

Bucky turned back to look at Peggy "excuse me?"

"I know who you are Sergeant Barnes, you and Steve act like I'm stupid or... old but I watch the news, I know about your past" Peggy smiled kindly "and about your present, how's the wedding planning going?"

Bucky frowned "we haven't started but the engagement party's tonight." Bucky heard Steve walk back into the room.

"Oh I do hope you have lot of fun." Peggy nodded.

"Fun doing what?" Steve said taking a sip from his glass of water.

"At Bucky and your engagement party." Peggy said and Steve almost coughed up his water and they all started laughing.

About two hours later they were all saying their last goodbyes and heading off to board the jet; as soon as they arrived they had to go straight to help Pepper with the party. On the jet they sat opposite each other. "So..." Bucky said as the jet took off "you jumped on a grenade?"

Steve looked down at his hands "it wasn't a real grenade"

"I told you when I left... when I left for England on my last night I told you not to do anything stupid until I got back and what was the first thing you did when you got into the army? You jumped on a bloody grenade!" Bucky took a deep breath.

"In my defence, firstly it was spear of the moment decision secondly it was an attempt to save people's lives and thirdly I didn't think you would find out about it." Steve counted on his fingers as he spoke. Bucky just rolled his eyes then got up and walked to the bathroom to get changed, when he finally came back out Bucky was wearing gray trousers, a black shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a gray tie hung around his neck which he tied into a bow tie and his hair still in a bun. After Bucky came out of the toilet Steve got changed into smart trousers with a matching waistcoat on top of a white shirt. They sat in silence until Steve finally burst out "okay enough don't get annoyed at thing that happened over 70 years ago."

"Huh? I'm not annoyed, I'm actually quite amused." Bucky saw Steve looking confused "you went so red when Peggy mentioned it, you looked like a tomato." Bucky leaned over and carefully planted a kiss firmly on Steve's lips. "I love it when you're embarrassed."

Within another few hours they were back at stark tower getting ready for the party. Together they went to help pepper with anything that needs doing. Pepper had, as expected, gone all out for the party. They walked into the level where they would be having the party, they had a dancing area ready, a banners that says 'congratulations' and even waiters who will be walking around with trays of champagne and finger foods.

Pepper was rushing around with a clip board adding the last few things to the room, when she saw them entre she walked directly over to the couple. "so glad you got hope okay, you'll have to tell me all about DC but first I was wondering can you help move those kegs of beer, their too heavy for me to lift and the delivery men left before I could ask them to move them. Thank you" Pepper talked quickly and once she had finished she walked away before even getting an answer.

"I don't feel like that was a question more like an order." Steve said to Bucky when Pepper was out of earshot they, both laughed and headed toward the beer. Bucky and Steve took one barrel in each hand like they weighed nothing and moved them around to the back of the bar.

Around half an hour later people were flooding in through the door all congratulating the happy couple on their engagement.

Bucky was talking to some random old man when tony came up behind him and said "I'm really sorry to interrupt but I need to steal Bucky away for a minute." Tony smiled at the old man and dragged Bucky away. "Dude you _are_ welcome!" Tony steered Bucky to the bar "let's get you drunk!"

"Tony I've been at this party for like 20 minutes" Bucky shook his head

"Yep and? I thing that long enough time to be sober at any party, especially one of Peppers." Tony said ordering a drink from the bar tender.

From across the room pepper shouted at Tony over the music "I heard that tony!"

After accepting the beer Tony offered him Bucky went to find Steve, he saw him almost immediately. When he reached Steve he put his arm around his waist lightly kissing Steve's cheek. They walked around groups of people saying hello and telling Story's on the proposal answering questions like who proposed? And how did it happen? And where did it happen? Steve did most of the talking, Bucky just kind of stood there holding Steve's hand and every time he finished his drink Tony would swoop in take his empty glass and put a full glass in his hand. Bucky was starting to feel his head spin a little. Once they'd talked to almost everyone at the party they both walked to the bar where Natasha was standing making her famous cocktails.

"What can I get you fellas?" Natasha asked she was wearing tall black hills and a simple red dress that clung to her body, her hair was pulled back and she had red lipstick that matched her dress.

"I think I'll just have some water please" Bucky replied rubbing his head slightly.

"How many drinks have you had?" Natasha narrowed her eyebrows.

"I don't know Tony keeps refilling my drink so often that it's hard to count." Bucky answered.

Natasha rolled her eyes and looked out into the main area of the party where most of the people were, she scanned the crowd until she saw Tony then she shouted at him "Tony stop cheating!"

Tony called back "what! I'm not doing anything!" Tony winked at Bucky.

"What's going on?" Bucky asked Natasha.

"They have a bet." Bruce said leaning agents the bar next to Steve "Tony bets that you'll get drunk and fall over again, but Natasha thinks you're going to chunder everywhere."

"That's mean." Steve said looking disappointedly at Natasha.

"Hey! It wasn't my idea." Natasha said putting hands up in surrender.

"Then whose was it?" Bucky said knowing that it was probably Tony.

"It was Bruce's idea." Tony said joining them at the bar. Everyone looked at Bruce.

Bruce laughed "don't look at me like that, I made loads of bets. I bet that Thor would break something; I bet that Tony will embarrass pepper and yes I also bet that Bucky would get really drunk, it was only a joke, relax. I get very little fun from parties and predicting who's going to make a fool of themselves is one of my small joys."

As Bruce predicted Thor smashed 4 glasses followed by him bellowing another across the room then a small nervous waiter rushing over to him offering him a refill then cleaned up the pieces of glass that was sprayed across the floor. Tony disappeared for about 10 minutes and did in fact embarrass Pepper by emerging back into the part wearing his full iron man suit and dancing around the dance floor like a little girl. The others kept refilling Bucky's glass and he was started to be unable to walk in straight line. Most of the people had gone home and now there were only a few close friends left. Bucky was in a detailed conversation with Steve about his metal arm.

"I mean it just gets so cold... you know?" Bucky mumbled Steve nodded in response, "why is it gray? Why is it not orange? Why did hydra not think orange was a good colour for an arm?"

"I don't know" Steve said trying to hold back his laughter.

"And why does it buzz when it's silent?" Bucky closed his eyes and didn't open them again.

"Bucky? Did you fall asleep?" Steve asked

Bucky's eyes flashed open, he leaned in really close to Steve's face "let's fondue!" he whispered he grabbed Steve's hand and pulled him to his feet. They said their goodbyes and got into the elevator heading up to their level, Bucky started dancing like he could hear music in his head, he grabbed Steve's hands and pulled him closes and moved him around so he was dancing to. They didn't stop laughing and dancing until the doors opened. Bucky took 3 steps into the apartment and threw up everywhere.

When he was finished Steve sat him down on the sofa with a bucket in front of him. Steve cleaned up the mess, made Bucky brush his teeth then directed him towards the bedroom.

When they entered their bed room Steve helped Bucky climbed onto the bed and got under the covers. He then closed his eyes again and started humming the national anthem. "I love you Stevie! Even though you're too good for me and I don't deserve you. I still love you and will always love you until the end of the..." Bucky drifted into a deep sleep right in the middle of a sentence.

"Typical." Steve rolled his eyes and lay down next to Bucky curling up in his arms and wrapping his around Bucky as well. "I love you to Bucky." he whispered to him even though Bucky was too far gone to hear him.

Authors noted: **hope you all had a good week, mine was certainly busy and full of exams, sorry this one took a little longer I'd rather have looked over it and have taken longer to put up the chapter than have put up a rushed one. So I hope you like it, the wedding's coming soon I promise but in the mean time any ideas you have I'd love to read them you're reviews are the best part of my day :)**


	27. what happened last night? Chapter 27

Bucky stumbled into the kitchen around midday, JARVIS had told Steve that Bucky would be wakening up around now, he could tell by reading Bucky's brainwaves or something like that, it was very technical and Steve didn't understand a word of it. Steve was cooking brunch for his fiancé but had paused to wrap his arms around Bucky and kiss him. "Morning Buck."

When Steve pulled away and went back to cooking Bucky frowned, he had been expecting Steve to do something loud to wake him out of his hang-over "what? No bright lights? Shouting?" he looked at the clock on the wall "And you let me sleep until noon. You've gone soft on me."

Steve smirked "I know but this is the first and last time. Trust me. Beside I thought you deserved a break especially after what happened last night"

"What happened last night?" Bucky said hoping onto the kitchen counter.

"you were really drunk!" Steve said flipping the pancake that was in the frying pan.

"I wasn't _that_ bad." Bucky said taking a blueberry out of the packet that was on the counter next to him and tossed it into his mouth.

"you were so drunk I'm not surprised you can remember it..." Steve raised his eyebrows "where to start...first of all Tony made another bet that you couldn't bite your nose and you spent the next hour rolling around on the floor screaming 'catch it, quick, it's getting away' then once you were calmed down and I got you sitting on the sofa, I went to get you some water and while I was gone Clint told you had a spider on your head and you freaked out run so fast you smashed your head on the door." Steve couldn't keep his laughter in any longer and was practically snorting.

"I'm so embarrassed!" Bucky lifted his hand up to his head and winced, "However that would explain why my head hurts."

"It wasn't that bad most of the people had gone home at that point but I must warn you I think Natasha took pictures." Steve said as he plated up the food, Bucky leaned his head back and groaned.

They both sat down opposite each other at the table holding hands and Steve skimming his thumb over Bucky's ring. "Oh I almost forgot I need you to do something for me today."

"Yeah sure, what is it?" Bucky said digging into his blueberry pancakes and thought about how amazing Steve was at cooking.

"The team have asked me to ask you to do the food shopping for us this week because everyone else is busy and Natasha and I have to go to a meeting with the government to discuss ways they can help us." Steve rolled his eyes; the government had been really hard on Steve and Natasha after the take down of S.H.I.E.L.D because it took away their only form of information about the things they will never be able to understand.

"I'll do it. What do you need?" Bucky squeezed Steve's hand. Steve started writing a list of items for Bucky, of all the things he had to buy. Steve changed into a smart black suit and prepared to leave when the doors to the lift opened and Natasha walked in wearing sunglasses, a black dress that came down to her knees, her hair hung loose around her shoulders, was wearing light makeup and had tall heels on so she was almost the same height as Steve.

in a dull voice She said "Ready to go cap?"

"Yeah. What with the glasses?" Steve said chuckling slightly.

"Steve" Natasha replied shaking her head, "you can't get drunk so you can possible know how a hang-over feels like but if you judge my methods of coping with it I will punch you in the face and hang you upside down from the top of stark tower! Do I make myself clear?" Natasha said glaring at Steve over the top the glasses.

Steve laughed and Bucky widened his eyes at him "Stevie, I don't think she's joking."

"Do I make myself clear" Natasha repeated forcefully.

"Yes ma'am" Steve said like he was a naughty school boy who was being told off by the head.

"Good," she said in a brighter tone "now hurry up and move your butt." Natasha said getting back into the elevator. Steve quickly kissed Bucky then jumping into the lift before the doors closed on him.

Bucky wondered back into his dark bed room and collapsed onto the bed and waited for his head to stop pounding, Natasha was right Steve didn't know how it felt to be hung-over but he's also lucky that he never has to feel this ill or embarrassed. After minutes in the dark Bucky decided it was time to start doing something to help. He pushed himself up from the bed and changed from his sweat pants into baggy jeans and his Captain America vintage shirt. He neatened up his hair and was ready to leave he grabbed the keys to Steve's motorbike and went straight to the garage.

When the doors opened they revealed a shiny bike that had once been to expensive for both Steve and Bucky's wages put together. Bucky strolled over to the bike and swung his leg over the top of the seat, Steve would kill him if he knew he was about to drive it but all he could thing about was the last time he'd driven one. It hadn't been that long ago, hydra would occasionally allow him to use one if he needed to get somewhere quicker, he remembered longing for those days because it made him feel free and moments like that were hard to come by even if the motorbike was usually stolen.

The engine roared to life and Bucky zoomed down the busy streets in and out cars, soon he was nearing the supermarket he did once around the block as he was having too much fun and when he came back around he turned into a parking space cutting the engine smoothly as he parked, hopped off and strolling into the shop.

The avengers have asked Bucky to get cereal, gluten free waffles, chicken, ham, milk and watermelon. Most were easily to find like the milk, chicken and ham. The waffles and watermelon were slightly harder, Bucky felt so lost in the big supermarket and surrounded by modern things he'd never heard of like squirty cream and pop-tarts. He had everything except cereal, when he turned into the cereal aisle he stopped in his tracks, he was so shocked by how many there were. When he was young there were precisely 5 different types but now there were hundreds. He started scanning over the names fruit loops, rice krispies and frosted flakes all brands he'd never seen before. He had no idea what brand the other avengers wanted so he just picked up one box saying "screw it Steve likes this one." under his breath, he threw the box into the trolley and pushed it towards the tills.

He unloaded the contents of the trolley onto the till and waited in line, when he finally got around to the lady she saw him and her jaw dropped, she adjusted her hair and gave him a flirty smile. Bucky gave a quick smile then searched his pockets for his wallet. The lady didn't do anything just sat there smiling at Bucky. He looked up and saw her smiling he started looking around like he'd missed something or for someone else she might be looked at. "Are you okay?"

When he asked she realised she'd been staring at him "oh sorry, I do that with attractive guys." she winked at him and started scanning the food. Bucky quickly pack everything into bags. He handed the money to the women, she slid her hand over his before taking it out of his hand and smiled again. Bucky sarcastically smiled back at her. She turned her back on him and when she looked back she handed him his receipt. Taking his bags and the receipt Bucky swiftly left the shop and jumped on to the bike and sped home.

He didn't bother unpacking, he just took out the pop-tarts and coca-cola he'd treated himself to then slouch onto the sofa and waited for Steve to come home. He wasn't gone long and within a few hours Steve was entering the apartment, he looked so tired and miserable. Bucky got up and walked over to him kissing him then pulling him into a tight hug. Steve sighed into Bucky's neck. "What a long day!" Steve said heading into the kitchen.

"That bad huh?" Bucky said following him in.

"Worse!" Steve started unpacking the shopping bags. "Natasha was in a bad mood from the start but got 100 times worse when some guy told her it was disrespectful to wear sunglasses inside the building."

"Uh oh" Bucky pulled a worried face, he knew Natasha would not have liked that.

"Yeah, she didn't appreciate that." Steve sighed again "and he didn't appreciate having his head slammed into the desk."

Bucky cringed "ouch."Steve nodded and was about to scrunched up the last carrier bag then realised the receipt was still in it when he took out the receipt he frowned. "What I it?" Bucky asked.

"Who is Lily and why does she want you to call her?" Steve raised his eyebrows at Bucky.

Bucky threw his hands up in surrender "I had nothing to do with that."

"But who is she?" Steve said as he screwed up the receipt.

"She was the lady behind the till today at the supermarket, she kept flirting with me." Bucky moved closer to Steve "are you jealous?"

"Pfft. No" Steve said turning away from Bucky to hid that he was insanely jealous. Bucky threw his head back and let out a loud laugh then wrapped his arms around Steve.

"You're adorable Stevie." Bucky said kissing Steve again.

Steve playfully pushed Bucky away "I'm not jealous!"

Bucky chuckled "yeah yeah whatever." He took the receipt out of Steve's hand and threw it without looking over his shoulder and it landing directly in the bin.

"by the way don't make what you did today a habit" Steve said pointing a finger at Bucky.

Bucky threw his arms up in surrender again "I didn't flirt with her she flirted at me. I promise"

"no not about that, I meant riding my motorbike." Steve walked out of the room.

Bucky called out to him "wait How did you know?"

Steve replied back from the other room "I always know."

Author's notes: **I wrote this chapter a few days ago but I must have forgotten to upload it again but here it is hope you liked it. I need to try and work out what time of year it is because I'm completely lost. (Candi I hope your exam went well). Thank you again for all your awesome reviews I deeply appreciate them. enjoy! ;)**


	28. Pepper's points Chapter 28

Bucky and Steve on the 19th floor which was a big gym that Tony had put in because he'd said the they had all been eating too much of Steve's cooking. The room was equipped with everything they could possible need towels, spare shorts, water bottles and boxing gloves. Bucky and Steve ignored the gloves and fought with their bare hands.

They had been sparing in the boxing ring for a couple of hours now but neither were getting tired, Steve had Bucky in a headlock then Bucky whipped his leg round throwing Steve's feet out from under him, Steve lost his grip on Bucky but as he fell back he reached his arms above his head and did a back flip away from Bucky. He planted his feet back on the floor and when he looked up Bucky was already there, Bucky he threw his right fist towards Steve's face but Steve intercepted the punch. Steve grabbed Bucky's wrist and pulled it away before it could collide with his face, Bucky swung his left hand around in another attempt to hit Steve but he just caught Bucky's other wrist. Steve pulled Bucky's arms to the sides which forced Bucky to stumble forward; Steve swung his head back and head butted Bucky who flew to the other side of the boxing ring and slumped to the floor.

"shit." Steve rushed over to Bucky's side, he was unconscious for about a minute until his eyes fluttered open and he winced and groaned loudly.

"I'm seeing stars!" Bucky mumbled.

"Well that's your own bloody fault!" Steve said playfully shoving Bucky.

Bucky pushed himself up on his elbows "why is it my fault?" he was now sitting up normally "you're the one who head butted me" bucky said as he watched Steve get to his feet, he moved across the ring and retrieved his water bottle.

"Because you're going easy on me." Steve took a sip of water.

"What? No I'm not." Bucky said immediately and defensively. "I'm giving the best I've got."

"James Barnes don't you lie to me." Steve put his hand out to Bucky and when he took it he pulled him off the ground. "Ever since we were young you have never given me the best you've got when we fight, I know because I've seen you fight, up close."

Bucky took Steve's water bottle out of his hands "fine, I can't fight you because A) I can't stop seeing the pre-serum Steve, can you image beating up the little thing? And B) it reminds me of when I fought you as the winter soldier and C) what if I forget again? What if I get so into the fight that I start to think I'm hydras puppet s again? I can't afford to lose myself again with you. I'll fight _with_ you any day but I'm sorry I just can't fight _you_." Bucky sadly smiled. Both looked at each other for a long second when the sound of an electric guitar started ringing out from Steve's phone. Steve sighed. "What is that?" Bucky asked.

"My phone, Tony's calling me." Steve walked over to his phone and picked it up.

"How can you tell it's him?" Bucky frowned. "And why is that your ringtone?"

"I personalised Tony's ringtone so every time he calls me "iron man" by the black Sabbath plays and I know it's Tony calling me again." He answered the phone. "What is it Tony?"

" _Team meeting now."_ Tony said through the phone then hung up.

"We have to go." Steve told Bucky who nodded and walked straight out of the ring and grabbed some spear clothes.

Bucky and Steve quickly changed into some fresh clothes and headed down to the main level where they knew this meeting would most likely be. In the elevator Bucky turned to Steve, they hadn't said a word since Tony called.

"do you understand?" Bucky asked "about why I can't fight you?" he sounded a little worried.

Steve smiled kindly and moved closer to Bucky "like I always say I'm never gonna force you to do something you don't want to do." Steve kissed bucky and they didn't stop until the elevator doors opened. When they entered the room from the elevator hand in hand, the whole team were there sitting in their usual places.

Stark tower had been the home of the avengers for months now and each avenger had made their marks. Tony and Bruce left their tools and science things everywhere. Natasha and Bucky had guns and weapons hidden in every room which no one could find no matter how hard they searched. Thor would leave his Mjolnir on people's things to annoy everyone because when they needed said item they couldn't lift the hammer to retrieve it. Clint had arrows everywhere and Steve had sat on so many of them that it was getting harder and harder to laugh it off and he's worried that soon he might snap just like the arrows. Bucky and Steve sat down in the two spear seats that were in-between Sam and Clint.

Tony stood up to start the meeting "I've called this meeting today to discuss a few important notices that Pepper feels we need to address, fortunately she's not here to bore you with them so I'll summarise them for you and let you guys get back to enjoying your crime free afternoons." Tony chuckled to himself "Do you want the fun points first or the serious points?"

Everyone looked around the table at each other and all came to the same answer, "start with the serious points then end with something fun."

"Right. Firstly, as you all know I have set up a gym on the 19th floor, I recommend that you try and train everyday from now on for at least an hour."

"Why?" Clint grimaced.

"I'll just say it. Pepper thinks you're all getting fat." Tony said quickly.

"I blame Steve." Natasha glared at him everyone laughed at Steve as he went red.

"I'm not fat." Bucky said to himself.

Steve kissed Bucky's cheek "don't panic you're nowhere near fat."

Bucky kissed Steve back and whispered "I love you."

"I love you too" steve whispered back.

"Get a room." Natasha said interrupting Bucky and Steve's conversation.

"Shut up Romanoff." Bucky poked out his tong the gestured was mirrored by Natasha.

"Okay, second point" Tony continued the meeting "Pepper needs to know if you guy would, every now and then, attend one of her charity fund raisers as the star guest? You wouldn't need to attend every night she does one but just have a schedule so you all have at least one night" everyone nodded in agreement.

"Should be fun." Steve smiled.

"course you'd say that," Tony said under his breath.

"what does that mean?"steve asked.

Tony ignored him and continued "so the next point is a fun one I finally convinced pepper if I put a shooting range in the basement area underneath the garage you would actually uses it often and practice your shooting, it caters to almost all guns and weapons, Clint there is also a target for you to use."

"I don't need practice." Clint said confidently "I never miss." He leaned back in his chair and pushed the front two legs of the chair off the ground then put his hands behind his head.

"Now you've jinked it big head." Natasha said. Underneath the table Bruce lightly pushed the leg of Clint's chair which made him lose balance and fall backwards, Clint landed on the floor with a loud thud.

He stood up quickly and looked around the table "who did that?" he questioned but no one answered. Natasha winked at Bruce.

"Sit down Barton." Tony rolled his eyes as Clint grumpily picked his chair back up and heavily sat back down. "Any way I hope you all prove Pepper wrong and get some good use out of the shooting range. The last thing on the list is Bucky and Steve's wedding."

"What about it?" Bucky asked.

"Who have you two picked to be your best-men? Man? Whatever who's it gonna be?" Tony said.

"I already said that I wanted you to me my best-man, Tony." Bucky replied immidiatly.

"Really? I thought you were joking." Tony sounded shocked, Bucky shook his head. "Thanks buck." He walked over to Bucky and shook his hand. "How about you Steve?"

Steve had been thinking for weeks about who he wanted he was torn between clint and sam but he'd now made a decision. "I want Sam to be my best-man" Steve said patting a hand on Sam's shoulder.

"wow man, thank you, I appreciate it." Sam said gratefully.

"Don't mention it." Steve said taking his hand away and turning back to the table. "What's next on the list of points?"

"Still wedding based but what date do you want it?" Tony added.

"After our birthdays but during the summer about end of July?" Steve asked Bucky.

"How about we do it on July 19th?" Bucky suggested.

Steve put his hand up to his mouth in shock "you remembered." Steve said moving his hand so he could talk. Bucky nodded and Steve pulled him into a tight hug.

"What's so special about the 19th of July?" Natasha frowned.

"It's the day we met." Bucky told the others.

Thor hadn't said much in this meeting but when he did he said in a high pitch voice. "Awwwww that's so cute" everyone turned around and stared at Thor who coughed a little "I mean Barnes son of buck knows how to make this day special." He said in his normal voice.

The meeting was over and Bucky and Steve were entering their apartment level and as soon as the doors closed Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky's neck and started kissing him. Bucky moved back so he was leaning against the wall. They moved along the wall until they found the bedroom door. Bucky said down on the bed and lifted up Steve's shirt. When it was off Steve started taking off Bucky's shirt when it caught on his metal arm and made a loud ripping noise.

"Wait wait wait, it's ripping..." Steve said pulling away from Bucky.

"Who cared?" Bucky grabbed the shirt and pulled it off in one smooth gesture the shirt was ruined but neither cared.

Authors notes: **I know it's been a little longer than normal but here were are. This is a short chapter and is mostly full of little paragraphs that I've written in other chapters but didn't quite fit with that specific chapter so I saved for future chapters like this one. Hope you like it. the next few chapters will be wedding planning, birthdays and then eventually the wedding. I'm sorry the weddings taking a little while it's just there's a lot that I want to write before the wedding so please stick with me it is coming. I was reading through a few of my reviews the other say and I just love how they make me happy when I receive them do thank you again I really appreciate your support. Like always if you have any idea no matter how mundane I want to hear them because I can always develop them to make them interesting. Thank you thank you thank you 3 ;)**


	29. taken off guard Chapter 29

It was the end of February on a calm Sunday afternoon where for once there was no explosions, nightmares or Hydra bases to take down. Everything was peaceful. All the avengers were on the main level enjoying their night off but also ready at a moment's notice if needs be.

40s music was quietly playing into the apartment which Steve had picked out but couldn't help but drift off into a light sleep, his head was resting on Bucky's lap. One of Bucky's hands was skimming over Steve's cheek bone while he watched him sleep, he found it very therapeutic and then his metal arm was holding Steve's hand tightly. Natasha was on the same sofa, near Steve's feet, she was reading a book called the red headed ninja which Tony swears she wrote herself. Tony was playing Galaga with the sound off as he was meant to be helping Pepper by researching things for the wedding but he just got so board. Bruce sat on top of the coffee table and meditating making sounds like 'Ummm' and 'Arrr'. Thor slumped on the armchair listening to the music as it started to remind him of home. Sam walked into the living area with a pot of Ben and Jerry's and was scooping spoonful after spoonful into his mouth, Pepper gave him a disapproving tut and Sam just muttered in reply "I have no regrets."

Everyone was sitting doing their own thing, the classic 40s song that was playing came to an end and it moved onto the next track. Star spangled man with a plan (the captain America theme tune) blasted out across the apartment. Steve's eyes shot open in horror.

Bucky let out a loud gasp "oh wow I haven't heard this in so long..." Bucky clapped his hands together like an excited little child.

Steve just groaned "change it." he said to nobody in particular.

"Where are your manners old men?" Tony winked at Bucky who had begun singing along. He knew all the lyrics.

"Change it!" Steve said again.

"Stevie don't try and pretend you didn't love your touring days and that there isn't a second that goes by that you don't miss creating your many movies, if I hadn't been... preoccupied I would have come and seen the show and watched every movie 3 times!" Bucky smiled as Steve pouted because he knew Bucky was right. He leaned down and kissed Steve's head.

The song ended and everything went silent. Bucky went motionless and listened careful like he was waiting for something. Clint came into the room with his bow in his hands and quiver of arrows round his body, Clint quickly looked out the window and loaded his bow. In a split second both Natasha and Bucky tensed and looked at each other across the sofa.

"GET DOWN!" Bucky shouted.

Steve's eyes shot open once more. Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve and push his legs away from the floor, pulling both of them over the back of the sofa just as several bullets were shot from the building across from stark tower. The window shattered and what was a calm, peaceful afternoon was now full of sound of gun fire.

Bucky and Steve pushed up against the sofa back. Natasha was next to them and reached under the sofa and pulled out two pistols, she was about to toss one over to Bucky but he'd already had one in his hands and he was loading the gun while stuffing another magazine into his pocket. He nodded at Natasha and at the same time they both slightly peered over the sofa and started shooting. Thor grabbed his hammer and started spinning it after he built up enough momentum he aimed for the roof of the other building and flew out the window; he began to knock some of the shooters out with his hammer. Clint stood behind a wall with his loaded his bow. He shot several arrows over to the other building taking out a few of the shooters.

Given that Natasha and Bucky were laying down cover and Thor was fighting the shooters on the other building, Steve took this opportunity to run towards the elevator where his shield was resting against the wall. However, before he got anywhere near, the elevator doors opened revealing 2 heavily armed men.

Steve dived for his shield and grabbed it just in time as one of the men started shooting in every direction not really aiming for anything; the other man unhooked a grenade and threw it into the apartment the door shut with the men still in the elevator. The grenade bounced in-between Steve and Bucky.

Steve rushed over to the grenade and was about to jump on it to stop the shrapnel killing or injuring any one, Bucky saw what Steve was about to do, he abandoned his spot next to Natasha and threw over the grenade and into straight into Steve pulling him out of the way, Natasha warned everyone else to get down and as stave and Bucky were in the air the grenade blew. The force of the blow sent both of them through the wall into the communal kitchen. Steve heavily landed behind the counter smashing his head on the marble counter top, he was knocked out immediately and Bucky smashed into the door of the freezer.

Everything had stopped the gun fire had silenced, Thor had handled the shooters, Bucky got to his feet. He pulled the unconscious Steve into a sitting position and made sure he was okay.

He looked around the damaged apartment looking for anyone who had been hurt in the attack. Pain was shooting through his right shoulder but when Clint come out from behind the wall, he ignored the pain.

"What the fuck happened." Clint said angrily still alert and ready just encase of another attack. His bow was still loaded. He looked out the smashed window watching Thor take out the last shooter.

Before Bucky could answer he heard someone groan, he spun round and saw Bruce on his hands and knees breathing heavily. Bucky rushed over to Bruce and kneeled down close to Bruce looking for possible injuries. "Are you injured?" Bruce didn't reply.

"Bucky... get back" Clint said quietly like he was preparing for something big. Bruce let out a shout/roar. Bucky widened his eyes. "Bucky get back." Clint said louder. Bruce began to change a few shades of green. His shirt ripped around his waist and biceps. Bucky was pushed back. He watched as Bruce grew into a massive green hulk. It let out an ear pitching roar. Bucky tried shifting back when the hulk noticed him moving. A massive emerald coloured fist came plunging down to crush Bucky. Instinctively, he pulled his metal arm to cover his face; this gesture slowed the speed of the hulk's fist but didn't stop it. The force of the hit made Bucky's head fall and hit the floor, Bucky started seeing stars.

Steve awoke to the sound of another loud roar. He leapt up and saw the hulk pulling its arm away from Bucky who was still lying on the floor; he bought up his fist and was going to hit Bucky again when Steve threw his shield hitting the hulk around the head. The hulk slowly looked over to Steve; he stepped over Bucky and started walking over to Steve.

Bucky began to get up picked up his gun and fired at the hulks back, the bullets were about as effective as rubber bands, all they did was make the hulk turn around and back headedly slapped Bucky across the face. The force of the hit sent Bucky flying across the room smashing into the opposite wall and flopping to the floor in a heap.

"BUCKY!" Steve yelled. The hulk moved closer to Steve when Natasha ran up behind the hulk, climbing onto his shoulders and placed a pair of really big headphones over the hulks ears. It tossed around a little trying to get the headphones off but after a second he heard the music and he began to calm down. He fell back to his hands knees and started shrinking back to normal size.

Sam was by Bucky's side helping him over to sit down on the sofa. The impact of the hulks hand had cut the side of Bucky's face and when he hit the freezer he managed to dislocate his right shoulder.

"You alright man?" Sam asked Bucky.

Bucky stood "Sam, do you have a strong stomach?" Bucky asked very seriously. Confused Sam nodded. "Can you do me a favour?" Sam nodded again. Bucky took a deep breath. "Okay then, hold my arm very tightly and whatever you do... Do NOT let go!" Bucky raised his eyebrows "understood?"

Still confused Sam nodded again. With another deep breath Bucky jolted his shoulder forward which forced the bone to pop the shoulder back in place but not without making a massive click that sent a shiver down everyone's spine.

"What in the world..." Clint exclaimed then frowned "that's manky"

Sam let go of Bucky's arm after realising what he'd just participated in. "mate now you can do me a favour by never asking me to do that again." Sam said cringing at the thought of the loud pop. Bucky just chuckled as Tony walked into the room on his phone.

"Pepper I'll call you back." He hung up the phone and turned to the other avengers who had gathered around the sofas which were covered in bullet holes. "So Pepper is doing some research and face recognition to find out who did this and why. I doubt that anyone will attack again so let's assess the damage and mend any injuries." Tony had blood rolling down his face from a small cut underneath his eye but other than he looked mostly unscratched. Bucky looked up and saw Bruce, who was sitting on the sofa with a blanket wrapped around him, looking at him with a glum face and as soon as they made eye contact Bruce got up and left with the elevator closing behind him.

Everyone dispersed. Bucky went to the kitchen and poured water on a cloth and started mopping up the blood dribbling from his cuts. His noise had also started bleeding and was now gushing a river. He was used to mending his injuries hydra would only go so far as repair his arm and he'd have to do all his own stitches and bandages.

On some of his early days of working for hydra, men would came to his cell with a gun and shot the winter soldier in different places of his body like his lower left abdomen, missing the vital organs so that he wouldn't die but still causing a lot damage and blood loss. In the corner of the room was a small metal bowl with blunt needles, thread, bandages and sometimes anti septic wipes but those were rare. He was shot and cut several times and that forced his to learn tend to his own injuries to this day he still doesn't know if he's doing it right, considering that he had survived 70 years of this he thought he'd done okay.

Within seconds the cloth was drenched in blood. "Do want some help?" Steve said from behind Bucky. He hadn't realised Steve had been behind him but when he spoke Bucky didn't turn round to look at him.

"I'm fine" Bucky said coldly. He pinched the bridge of his noise and the blood gradually stopped. He chucked the bloody cloth into the bin and walked passed Steve without another word. Steve frowned and was confused on why Bucky was cold shouldering him.

Bucky entered his apartment and hopped into the shower, the water ran red until all the blood was washed away. He stood letting the warmth spread through him. A sob escaped his lips and Bucky clasped his hands around his mouth to stop anyone hear him cry.

 _How could Steve do that_ Bucky thought to himself he couldn't shake how stupid Steve had been. How willing he was to just jump on a grenade like it didn't have the power to kill him. _He's not invincible._

Tears ran down Bucky's checks and mixing in with the shower water. He tried to control his breathing and stop crying. When he was calmer he washed himself clean and exited the shower he grabbed a towel and moved into his bedroom where he changed into something combatable. After towel drying his hair he threw the towel onto the bed he saw in the mirror that his eyes were a little puffy from crying but if you didn't look closely it wasn't that bad. He walked into the main living area of the apartment and was confronted by Steve.

"What did I do wrong?" Steve said innocently.

Bucky sighed and rolled his eyes. He walked straight passed Steve and towards the kitchen but Steve's words stopped him.

"seriously, what did I do wrong?" Steve said in a stronger voice.

Bucky turned around and threw his arms in the air, "the fact that you don't know what you did make it that much worse."

"Is this about the grenade thing?" Steve asked.

Bucky looked at the ceiling, blinked a few times to push back the tears. "yes" he sighed.

There was a moment's silence. "I'm sorry." Steve said shaking his head slightly.

"Sorry?" Bucky swallowed. "Sorry doesn't begin to cover it!" Bucky said angrily. "Did you even think? Did you? Did it pop into your mind that maybe I have a say in whether you get blown up by a grenade?" Bucky's voice was rising in volume.

"I was trying to help." Steve shot back.

"Tell me, did anyone get hurt from that grenade?" Bucky questioned.

"They could have..." Steve answered.

"Not what I asked."

"...you did. You dislocated your shoulder..." Steve pointed to Bucky's arm like he had to remind Bucky of his injuries.

"Only because I was pulling your sorry ass out the way!" Bucky said angrily.

"Look I'm sorry!" Steve shouted loudly matching Bucky's anger "It's my natural instinct! If the serum stopped making me believe I was invincible then I would probably stop doing this shit!" Steve ran a hand through his hair.

Bucky was a little taken aback at Steve shouting but he had so much anger that he just shouted back "what about _me_? It's my instinct to protect you too! Ever since we were young you ma always told me 'take care of little Stevie' I _promised_ her I would protect you from harm!" tears were streaming down Bucky's face. "Today I almost _broke_ that promise because you didn't even think before throwing yourself on a grenade." Bucky took a deep breath "you can't even begin to know how it feels to when the only person you have left in the world, who you love with every fibber in your body wouldn't think twice about jumping on something that had the power to kill them." Bucky wiped away some of the many tears. Steve had a shocked expression. Bucky stopped shouting a now spoke in a shaky voice "I understand that it's you natural instinct to protect people, you're Captain America, It's what you do but I waited a life time for you and it scared me how quickly it could get take away from me." Bucky smiled sadly wiping way fresh tears.

Steve didn't know what to say when JARVIS spoke from the ceiling "Sergeant Barnes and Captain Rogers, Mr stark has new information about the attack and requests your presence in conference room 6 on the 13th floor."

"Thank you JARVIS" Bucky said not taking his eyes off Steve "we'd better go." Steve nodded once and they both walked in silence over to the elevator. It was awkward and Steve was about to say something when the elevator doors opened revelling a long corridors of small conference rooms. They walked down the corridor in the same silence until they reached door 6.

It turns out that they were attacked by a simple gang of people who disagreed with the power people like the avengers had and happened to have a gun supplier who was willing to sell them the correct weapons.

They didn't stay in the meeting room for long, Tony had paper work to do, normally Bruce helped him but he hadn't come down to the meeting. Bucky left before everyone else to go find Bruce. Alone.

Bruce was on the roof looking out over the city, the glow of the never sleeping city lit the roof like it was a sunny summer's day. Bucky stood next to Bruce at the edge of the building. They were dangerously high.

"If an ordinary person jumped right now it would be certain death." Bruce sighed "I envy that privilege." Bruce added.

"Privilege?"

"The ability to choose whether you live or die." Bruce's tears glistened in the New York light. "I'm sorry by the way."

"About what." Bucky said looking over the city.

"About hulking out on you."

Bucky chuckled "I've seen worse."

Bruce looked over at Bucky "that's what Nat said when I attacked her. It's so embarrassing."

"Bruce everyone have their moments. The good and the bad, you may not have the privilege to choose when and how you die but you do get to choose who you spend them with, I think that better." Bucky turned to leave.

"How do I forget?" Bruce asked Bucky as he walked away.

Bucky turned back to Bruce and smiled "don't try and forget your problems, there's no point trying to forget because eventually everything comeback and that's 10 times worse, I know that too well. You're not the only one with problems Bruce so don't think you're alone. You always have people to talk to who are going through the exact same"

"Do you know many people who turn into big green raging monsters?" Bruce joked.

Bucky smiled "fine, people who are going through similar. Besides I bet Tony's always willing to listen in exchange for watching you work. He says 'it's like watching genus happening' so just choose to focus on something else like your science thing." Bucky smiled one last time at Bruce before going back to his apartment.

The elevator doors opened into the apartment he was expecting Steve to be waiting for him but he wasn't. Bucky thought that he was probably talking to Nat or Tony about the attack so Bucky walked into the bed room and flopped onto the sofa when he heard something move under the bed. He peered under and saw Steve lying on the floor facing the bottom of the bed. Bucky shuffled under the bed and lay down next to Steve. They were quiet for a long time.

"I really am sorry." Steve said without looking at Bucky.

"I know you are Stevie. I'm sorry too, I slightly over reacted, and I just didn't want to let Mrs. Rogers down. If anything happened to you on my watch, I don't think she'd ever forgive me."

"You didn't over react, it was stupid and I'll think about it next time I go to do something like that again." Steve looked over at Bucky.

"to right you will." Bucky mockingly frowned at steve.

There was a pause

"Would it be okay if I kissed you?" Steve asked shyly.

Bucky leaned close to Steve "you don't need to ask."

"I love you." Steve said before closing the gap between them.

Author's notes: **Ohhh I think somehow I've made this is the longest chapter I've written I feel a sense of achievement (yay) ! I think I'll celebrate by writing the next chapter to be Bucky's birthday :) super excited. I have a confession when I originally wrote this chapter I got so into the hulk scene that before I knew it Bucky was dead! I was sooooo horrified by what I'd written I deleted like a 1,000 words and replaced it with the argument. (Don't panic I wouldn't never kill of Bucky) I love writing this chapter but in my opinion the begging part's quality of writing was not so good but I like to believe it got better as it went on. Enjoy the chapter :) ps I quickly proof read it so sorry if there's a few mistakes :)**


	30. the bank Chapter 30

It was the morning after the attack on stark tower and Steve and Bucky's argument. Steve was sleeping alone on his bed, he reached out expecting to find Bucky but all he found was air. He sat up and stretched his arms above his head. The door swung open and Bucky stepped in closing the door behind him.

"Morning" Bucky smiled, Steve smiled back at him. "first of all I would like to start off by saying that everything's okay, Nothing happened and nothings on fire and everything anyone tells you are all lies and rumours." Bucky paused and smiled wider "do we have a fire extinguisher?"

Steve closed his eyes and sighed "the cupboard left of the kitchen door."

"Great, thanks" Bucky left the room quickly and Steve hear him rummaging around in the cupboard and then the sound of the fire extinguisher going off it came from around the kitchen area. Steve rolled his eyes and lay back down and pulled the covers up to his chin. About 40 minutes later Bucky re-entered the bed room holding a tray and he placed it down in front of Steve.

The tray had a glass of orange juice, an apple and in the centre of the tray was a silver dome that was presumable covering a plate of food. When Steve had sat back up Bucky lifted the silver dome revealing a small brown bag, when Steve opened it he saw several of his favourite pastries.

Steve's face light up "what is this?" he said excitedly.

"Breakfast! I had to go out and get those because plan A..." Bucky scratched his head "...didn't go so well." Bucky shrugged "hence the fire extinguisher. I would recommend not going into the kitchen until I get the chance to clean what's left of plan A."

Steve laughed and took one of the pastries and shoved it into Bucky's mouth.

"Seriously though, what is this in aid of?" Steve said before taking a sip of his orange juice.

Bucky looked down of this pastry "it my apology."

"For yesterday?" Bucky nodded "we already agreed that we both messed up."

"I know but I couldn't sleep so I spent all night thinking and I decided that you deserved something special because even though what you did was bat-shit crazy and highly stupid, you did try and save us." Bucky looked into Steve's eyes "but don't thing that every time you try and sacrifice yourself you're gonna have breakfast in bed the next morning, because you won't."

Steve nodded and dived into the bag pulling out another pastry. "Don't suppose we have any leads on yesterday?"

"Actually we do, Tony manage to trace some radio transmissions that were send during the attack." Bucky said shrugging "Tony said something alone those line but with a few more technical words and phrases." Bucky and Steve laughed "I don't understand a word that man says"

Steve nodded in agreement "I know, I barely understood anything Howard used to talk about and now we've got his smarter son and it's all just noise." Steve sighed.

"Anyway, Tony traced this transmission to an abandoned bank located in DC, so get changed. You, me, Clint and Tony are all going to check it out were leaving in an hour." Bucky said grabbing his jacket out of the wardrobe.

"I'll suit up then." Steve got to his feet and walked over to Bucky pulling him close and kissing him. When Steve pulled away he looked at Bucky and saw the cuts on his face from when the hulk threw him across the room. "I'll stop jumping on grenades if you can stop cutting your face before the wedding can you imagine the wedding photos if you turn up looking like this?!"

Bucky laughed loudly "I'll try." He walked over to the chest of draws and tried finding a pair of socks, he finally found a pair but when he lifted it up he saw underneath small cards that had little red stains on them that could only be blood. He picked them up and on them it said _"captain America trading cards."_ Bucky frowned, "Steve what are these?" he showed the trading cards to Steve.

"Have I ever told you about a brave man called Coulson?" Steve asked

"Yeah he came up at dinner one time" Bucky answered.

"When he died I thought I owed it to him to keep his card with me because they meant the world to him and he had them when he died." Steve shrugged "it's the least I could do." Bucky smiled and carefully put the blood stained cards back where he found them.

Within the hour both Steve and Bucky were walking towards the Quinjet holding hands. They boarded and within another hour they were landing in Washington DC.

Bucky begun picking up knives and guns and other gadgets, Steve walked over to Tony "Before we go back do you mind if I pop in to see Peggy?" Steve asked.

"We'll see how things go cap, depends on what we find in this bank." Tony replied, Steve glumly nodded. Tony saw Steve's disappointment "sorry"

"It's alright," Steve shrugged "priorities." Steve picked up his shield and went to help Bucky arm up. The four avengers jumped into a car that Tony had arranged for them and drove across DC to the bank's location. When they arrived and Bucky saw the exterior of the bank he frowned.

"What's wrong?" Clint asked

"I'm having serious déjà vu, which is never a good sign." Bucky said rubbing his forehead; he could feel the start of a headache brewing between his eyes.

"All the more reason to go and check it out." Clint said putting a hand on Bucky's shoulder.

Tony lead the way around the back of the abandoned bank, Bucky walked behind Tony and when he felt Steve's hand slip into his own he relaxed, he hadn't realised he'd been so tense. Tony stopped by a door that would lead them onto the property he leaned close to the door and nodded to the team. He pushed the door open revealing a dark corridor. One by one they began to move swiftly down the corridor there were no doors or windows just plain white walls.

Finally, they turned into an open room, this room was brighter, and light was streaming through windows that were close to the ceiling. The room was empty except from on the far wall was a door way but instead of a door it was a gate like a prison.

At the same time Bucky and Steve tensed as they heard the familiar voice of Rumlow he walked through the gates into the open room. Steve clenched his fists, let go of Bucky's hand and ran passed Tony, Rumlow became aware of Steve barging towards him. Rumlow tried to prepare himself for the hit but I was too late, Steve pushed him to the ground and began punching Rumlow in the face over and over.

Eventually Clint managed to pull Steve away to let him cool down.

Steve was panting he was so angry, Tony began to cuff Rumlow who was barely awake, "it's nothing personal" Steve said before Rumlow flopped to the floor, unconscious.

Bucky didn't look at Rumlow because he knew he would have done the same, he walked over to Steve and took his hand. "You okay?"

"I'm fine"

Clint frowned "are you sure?" Steve nodded once in reply.

Bucky gasped he'd looked through the gates that Rumlow had come out off.

With the strong feeling of confusion lingering over him he let go of Steve's hand and walked straight towards the prison like bars, Bucky walked slowly through the golden gates which opened up into a big bank vault. Little draws with key holes were on every section of the walls. In the centre of the room was a chair surrounded by computer monitors and above the head of the seat were 2 metal plates that were making a buzzing sound.

Pain burned the space between Bucky's eyes. He let out a yelp and he sunk to his knees and through both hands to his head. Steve rushed to Bucky's side.

"Bucky! Bucky what's wrong?" Steve said panicked.

 _The winter soldier sat on the chair, he loathed sitting in the chair he didn't know why he hated it so much but all he remembers of being in the chair was pain and metal panels covering his face. Suddenly, memories started flooding back to him, falling from a train, being dragged across the cold snow leaving a trail of red behind, being amputated on and worst of all being frozen. Everything hurt and all he could do was lash out at the nearest thing to him. He swung his metal arm to he's nearest threat, the winter soldier sent a small technician flying across the ban vault._

 _Instantly all guns pointed at him, he knew he couldn't escape not with this many guns pointing at him but he also knew he knew he was angry and knew this was not where he needed to be, he needed to get to the man on the bridge._

 _The man had called him something. '_ Bucky' _he said it over and over in his head; it was the only thing that made sense but at the same time was the most confusing thing he could think about. Winter sat staring down the barrel of a machine gun, panting. He was so angry but equally scared._

'Bucky, Bucky Bucky, Bucky...' _he repeated the meaningless word to keep himself from jumping up from the chair._

 _The gate opened and a smartly dressed man walked straight into the vault. He gestured for the guards with the guns to stand down; he hadn't even said a word but the tension in the room was already high. Just the sight of the man made winters blood run cold. He tried to conceal his shiver, hydra punished him for flinching._

 _The gate slammed shut, locking everyone inside the vault. There was a long pause._

'Bucky, Bucky, Bucky, Bucky...' _winter thought still staring at the gun man._

 _The man in the suit said something demanding but all Bucky could hear was the word running through his head._

 _The man spoke again in a very demanding voice "mission report now!"_

 _Winter couldn't fathom the words and couldn't understand what the man wanted from him. All he could think about was how desperately he needed answers about the man on the bridge._

 _When the man didn't get his answer he forcefully slapped winter, for an old man he could certainly hit hard but winter had been trained not flinch and the pain of the slap was nothing compared to the thumping in his head._

 _Winter needed answers desperately, he knew he should suppress his questions he knew they'd have consequences. He took a deep breath "The man on the bridge, who was he?" he'd said it there was no going back._

 _The foul man before him looked him up and down "you met him on an earlier assignment"_

 _Yes! He had met him before on the roof top, but there's more than that, more than what hydra was telling him. Blurry memories rushed through his head, winter frowned. "I knew him."_

 _The man pulled up a chair directly in front of winter, "your work has been gift to mankind, you shaped the century and I need you to do it one more time, society is on a tipping point between order and chaos. Tomorrow morning were going to give it a push but if you don't do your part I can't do mine and hydra can't give the world the freedom it deserve" the man waited for Bucky to reply._

 _He wanted to help; if what he was doing was helping he wanted to do it but this man on the roof, the bridge, Brooklyn? What's Brooklyn? He must have met the man he just couldn't work out when._

" _but I knew him."_

 _The man in the suit sighed, he got to his feet he started talking to the technical team something about prepping but winter was thinking about the man on the bridge. It was like doing the hardest puzzle ever invented but this time the pieces were memories._ 'Steve' _the single word floated around his head. It made his feel warm and sad at the same time. Winter remembered a man he would follow into war, he remembered a boy who would sit on the side lines watching young Bucky playing._

'Steve' _that was something that made sense. '_ Captain America _,_ Bucky's Steve. My Steve .'

" _Wipe him" the words made winter snap back to attention of his surroundings. He didn't know what that meant but knew it was bad. Instantly technician decided on winter, they began pressing buttons and the sound of an electric current grew. On technician sceptically reach out a hand with something to bite down on. The metal plates encased winters face. He desperately tried remembering all the things he'd remembered._

 _Then the pain started, there was nothing he could do to stop his screams._

Bucky was shaking in Steve's arms; they were still in the bank vault. It felt like it had been hours but only seconds had passed. Tears were streaming down Bucky's face.

"Bucky?" Steve said pulling Bucky closer to his body "Bucky, tell me what to do" Steve tried to sound strong but really he was dying inside.

The pain in Bucky's head was fading and Bucky mumbled "I need to get out of here." If it hadn't been for Steve's enhanced hearing he probably wouldn't have heard Bucky.

Bucky swiftly left the chair room and re-entered open room. He sunk to the floor and put his head between his knees Steve sat next to him without a word. After a few moments he looked up and saw Rumlow had a smile on him that made Bucky feel sick inside.

Author's notes: **I know it's been two weeks I've been really busy with birthday things and I've been trying to write little bits every day. I was all set to write Bucky's birthday when Candi gave me a good idea about finding the people responsible for the attack so I'm putting off the part while we interrogate the evil Rumlow! (I hate Rumlow from the start!) I like this chapter because I love writing flash backs especially Bucky's mysterious passed, I also know that this flash back was based on the movies scene but Sebastian Stan did such a good job with facial expression I just thought about what winter must have been thinking. I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. Happy reading :)**


	31. Rumlow Chapter 31

Rumlow's smug grin stuck on his face the whole journey on the Quinjet.

"I've got a funny feeling about this guys," Tony said to the four avengers, "it was the same feeling I got when we were bring Loki to the helicarrier and look how that turned out." Steve nodded he remembered Loki's trickster grin.

"When we get to stark tower, put him in the safe room," Clint spoke up "nothing can get out without JAVIS's authorisation. We can interrogate him there"

"I'm planning on it, I'll call ahead to prepare the room." Tony left the group and sat down in the pilot seat and speed dialled Pepper.

The flight felt longer than it was and when they finally landed everyone was desperate to get off the jet. No one wanted to take Rumlow to the secure room but it had to be done. Double checking the handcuffs, Bucky escorted Rumlow off the jet and to the elevator. Bucky pressed the up button and the elevator doors opened, Sam was inside he smiled at Bucky then he saw Rumlow. Suddenly, Sam turned angry and headbutted Rumlow's face. Rumlow stumbled back in surprise when Bucky pulled Sam out of the elevator and pushed Rumlow in and quickly clicked the button so Sam couldn't get another hit.

They entered the safe room which was a brightly lit white room that had a single table in the centre with three chairs spread around it. All the walls were plain except for one mirror that didn't take a genius to know it was a viewing window.

"Take a seat." Bucky said in a polite voice.

"You know what Asset, I think I'll stand." Rumlow smiled just a little wider and Bucky tenses he hadn't been called Asset in a long time. In a split second Bucky reached his hand round the back of Rumlow's head and pushed it towards the table. There was a loud thud as Rumlow's head collided with the table; the smug grin was instantly wiped from Rumlow's face.

"That wasn't an offer, you piece of shit!" Bucky said forcefully.

Dazed, Rumlow waddled to the chair and sat down; Bucky chained Rumlow's cuffs to the table and left the interrogation room. The door locked behind him as Tony came out of the elevator with Steve. Tony was holding a tablet that displayed a hart monitor and a small lie detector.

Tony taped a few buttons on the tablet as he spoke "you and Steve have drawn the short straw and you both are going in there to interrogate Rumlow," Steve sighed. "Sorry Cap, other than you two no one really knows Rumlow or about his past."

"What about Natasha? She's worked with him longer" Steve added.

"She got a lead and went out on a mission before she knew we had Rumlow." Tony said reading from his tablet. "It's simple all you have to do it ask a few questions and get the answers we need. It's not rocket science. This tablet had been synced to read Rumlow's vitals and will hopefully tell you if he's lying."

"Hopefully?" Bucky raised his eyebrows.

"I created a system that even Natasha could fool, the thing is she's so good at lying I can't tell if it worked or not." Tony handed over the tablet to Bucky and left for the elevator "good luck." He said before the doors closed behind him.

Bucky took a deep breath and stepped into the interrogation room with Steve by his side. Steve pulled a chair out from underneath the table and lowered himself into the chair without looking Rumlow in the eye. Bucky closed the door and walked behind Rumlow and leaned against the wall.

There was a quiet pause. No one made a sound.

A moment later Bucky spoke first "shall we get straight to it"

"Please." Rumlow said politely almost mocking Bucky's earlier tone.

Steve asked the first question "how long have you working for Hydra."

" _Long_ before you were dragged out the ice." Rumlow answered.

Bucky slowly moved away from the wall and walked in front of Rumlow and sat down next to Steve placing the tablet on the table between them. He leaned back in his chair and looked into Rumlow's soulless eyes. "Why did you attack us?"Bucky finally asked, Rumlow let out a sigh/laugh

"Yeah, why now? It's been months since hydra was taken down..." Steve said before Rumlow interrupted with an ugly smug laugh.

"You think that just because you and your ginger headed assassin swooped in and took down SHIELD means you've destroyed Hydra? Haven't you been paying attention?" Rumlow exclaimed. Steve looked at Bucky in the corner of his eye. "Come on Cap don't you remember our motto or is it every year you spent in the ice you become less and less the Captain America everyone knew." Steve's jaw tensed, Rumlow spoke slowly and with pride "cut off one head, two more shall take its place. Hail Hydra!"

"But why now?" Steve spoke through his tense jaw ignoring Rumlow jab at him "What changed?"

"Him." Rumlow looked straight at Bucky.

"What about me?" Bucky asked knowing that the answer would not be pretty.

"Because you're a threat," Rumlow said not taking his eyes away from Bucky. "and threats need to be terminated."

Steve looked down at the table, he couldn't look at Rumlow, he was fuming, he couldn't stop thinking about his ambush in the elevator and all the time before he had trusted Rumlow on missions, with information he had no right know. Then it suddenly hit him. Steve sat up straighter, his eyes wide with anger.

"You knew" Steve said abruptly.

"I know a lot of things, please, Captain be a little more specific." Rumlow said in a condescending voice.

Steve slammed his hands down against the table. "You knew about Bucky all this time! Every time I spoke about him you knew that my best friend was either on a mission god knows where or being experimented on, where they were doing god knows to him."

"Yeah I knew and every time you told old stories about your friend about how he was your _best_ friend and he would have done _anything_ for you, I was laughing inside. I found it hilarious. The funniest part about it was occasionally on those very rare days our precious Asset would be out on a mission and he'd stumble on something that triggers a memory, of course after that happened it was my job to give the order to wipe him however, before we wiped him I would tell him things, information about his past and you. This would result in his memories flooding back which has its consequences. Pain, right in the centre of his head. His screams amused me; they made such a strong exterior of a man crumble revealing a scared little boy." Rumlow talked about Bucky like he wasn't in the room. Bucky, whose eyes were fixed on Rumlow, had a gun strapped to his thigh, Steve was so angered by Rumlow's words that he grabbed the gun, stood up from his seat and aimed for Rumlow's head.

Bucky felt the gun being taken and he jumped up in front of Steve and pushed the gun away as Steve pulled the trigger. The bullet went into Bucky's upper right arm and flew out the other side and into Rumlow's shoulder. Ignoring the pain in his arm Bucky grabbed Steve's wrist and pulled the gun out of Steve's hand. Without letting go of Steve's wrist Bucky pulled him out of the interrogation room slamming the door behind him. After everything Rumlow had said he understood why Steve was angry but that was no reason to try and kill the man.

"sorry." Steve said in a small voice.

"How could you have been so stupid!" Bucky said looking down at the floor and rubbing his forehead.

"I'm sorry I don't know what came over me, I just... I was just so..." Steve couldn't find the words to finish the sentence with.

"Could you go up stairs and get me a first aid kit." Steve nodded and rushed for the elevator "and a clean t-shirt." Steve nodded again and the elevator doors closed.

Bucky used his left hand to pull his blood soaked shirt off in one swift movement, it was a weird feeling when Bucky got cut or hurt because he could almost feel the wound healing and he knew it was something Hydra must have done to him because he remembers when he was playing as a child when he fell over and hurt himself it would take his cut forever to heal.

Steve was back in minutes with a first aid kit and a spear gray t-shirt. As he walked over to Bucky and saw the gash on his arm. "Wait you got shot?"

Bucky nodded and took the first aid kit from Steve. He opened up the box and took out an antiseptic wipe and some bandages. One handed, Bucky ripped open the wipe packet with his teeth but it ripped so quickly that the wipe feel to the floor. Steve moved closer to Bucky took another wipe from the first aid kit "I can do by my own." Bucky said as Steve wiped the wound clean.

"You don't have to." Steve threw the wipe in the bin and took the bandage from Bucky's hand and started wrapping Bucky's arm. Bucky was patched up and Steve handed the gray t-shirt to Bucky who slipped it on being careful not to move his arm too much.

Bucky grabbed a bandage, a needle and some thread for Rumlow and prepared to re entre the room before he went in he turned to Steve and said "it's probably best if you go back to our apartment and cool down."

"I understand." Steve gave Bucky a small sad smile.

Bucky shut the door behind him and sat down in front of Rumlow "your just getting beaten up by today!" he laid the medical equipment in front of Rumlow and leaned back in his chair. "I hope you know how to stitch because no one's going to do it for you."

Rumlow knew what he was doing and had himself fully mended within 15 minutes, he neatly put all the used equipment into a small pile on the corner of the table and looked at Bucky awaiting the rest of the interrogation.

Bucky went all the way back before Steve's realisation of how evil Rumlow really was. "Why am I a threat?" Bucky asked.

"Because you diverged from hydras plans." Rumlow continued "when we wiped you we would give you basic knowledge, for example knowing how to fight in many different styles, being able to speak in lots of languages and the back-up plans."

"What are the back-up plans?" Bucky put his hands on the table a leaned closer.

"If something happens on a mission like the plan goes wrong and you have to abort or on a mission you start to remember then the back-up plans will kick in and take over. The programming would send you to the nearest hydra base where you would feel safe but during the attack on The Triskelion something made you feel safer than a hydra base." Rumlow said. Bucky's first thought was Steve. It has always been Steve who made him feel safe. "we controlled you with fear and mind control, we made you feel weak but the Captain made you feel safe and strong and cause you to over ride your programming and that is why you haven't returned to us."

"Us? Who's us? Hydra was destroyed." Bucky queried.

Rumlow tilted his head back and sighed "Hydra is not finished, taking down SHIELD only sent us into hiding but Hydra with rise again." Rumlow's smug grin reappeared. Bucky picked up the tablet which told him Rumlow was telling the truth, Bucky stood and without another word headed for the door.

The door locked behind him and Bucky shivered, he hated Rumlow and Hydra but he also hated how Hydra had manipulated his mind. In the elevator heading to his apartment he started remembering different situations where the back-up plan had kicked in, after his fight with Steve on the bridge Steve had said his name and winter had chosen to flee but didn't remember making the decision.

The doors opened to the apartment and without hesitation Bucky went straight to the bedroom and looked under the best expecting to find a thoughtful Steve. But he wasn't there. Bucky sat up straight and started looking around the apartment for any sign of where Steve might be. He couldn't find a single trace of Steve.

"Do you need my assistance, sir?" JARVIS said from above. "If you would like, Sergeant Barnes, I could do a search of the building to locate Captain Rogers's position."

"Thank you that would be helpful." Bucky said looking around the ceiling not sure where to look when talking to JARVIS.

"Scanning Stark tower." The mirror that was in the hallway turned into a computer screen showing a plan of Stark tower each level turned green when it had been fully scanned. When the scan reached floor 20 it stopped. "It appears that Captain Rogers is on level 20."

Bucky turned for the elevator "what's on that floor?"

"Storage, sir, will you require any further assistance?" JARVIS asked.

"I'm okay JARVIS, Thank you." Bucky whizzed up to the 20th level and when the doors opened it was dark and cold. Bucky knew that Tony preserves energy but not heating up the upper levels because there not in use but he didn't expect it to be this cold.

"Steve?" Bucky whispered, he only whispered because it was dark. It was silent and there was no answer. "Steve?" Bucky said again softly. Still no reply but he knew Steve was in here. The light from the elevator showed a small portion of the room. Big crates and boxes went on for a far as he could see and it would be a perfect place to hide, without JARVIS Bucky would never have thought to have looked here. Bucky started walking and peering behind boxes, when he saw that it was empty he move a little further into the room. After about 5 mins he heard someone sniff. The noise had come from the far end of the room.

It was still dark and when Bucky came round another box he almost didn't see Steve stetting on the floor with his legs tucked in next to his chest. Bucky paused for a moment almost shocked to see Steve there. Steve look at Bucky, he's face was puffy and he had red eye's. Steve wiped his checks and sniffed again.

"I'm sorry" Steve said in an uneven voice "I couldn't go back to the apartment and wait for you to get back, the suspense was killing me. I just kept thinking about how disappointed you must be in me. I knew you must be so angry, because when you went back into the interview room, you had your grumpy face on and I panicked... I feel so bad... I'm really sorry..." Steve trailed off.

Bucky sat down on the cold floor next to Steve so close that their arms were touching. Bucky didn't know what to say so he just took Steve's soft hand in his own metal one and kissed Steve's check. "I'm not angry." Bucky leaned against one of the crates so he was staring the same direction as Steve.

"I'm sorry." Steve said again leaning his head on Bucky's shoulder. "I'm more sorry about accidently shooting you than shooting Rumlow." Steve took a deep breath "is he okay?"

"Who cares? You don't need to keep apologising for everything, if I hadn't put up with him over the last few years then I would have shot him myself." Bucky said kissing the top of his head. Steve sobbed and a new load of fresh tears came. "What's wrong?" Bucky asked alarmed.

"Why is nothing simple?" Steve said. "You're so quiet and brave these days that I forget that you've suffered so much and been through too much. What Rumlow said just made me so angry, how he used to enjoy your pain. It makes me feel sick. Everything just seems to be getting so complicated, I just need everything to stop."

Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve and pulled his close to his side, " I can't make time stop, you know all too well that time just carries on with or without you, but I can tell you that no matter how much time we do have left, I will spend every second of it with you and nothing will change my mind, no matter how many Hydra agents you shoot or however many time you hide when you're upset I will always come looking for you. I promise you, I'm with you till the end of the line because your all I've got."

Steve shed tears of joy at Bucky's words "you're all I've got too, you know."

As they both sat in the dark on the cold floor Bucky thought to himself that Rumlow was right about one thing Steve did make Bucky feel strong and being with Steve is the safest he's felt in 70 years.

Author's notes: **chapter 31 yay! What a long chapter, I was aiming to post this over the weekend but Monday is good enough (for me). OMG Civil War trailer! It's killing me I can't wait for May 6** **th** **I think I might explode at any point! That bit when Steve put his hand on Bucky's shoulder crushed me, I literally screamed! Anyway back to this chapter, there is more Rumlow to come, and I promise that the wedding and birthdays are coming I just got a little side tracked. (candi) of course I've seen Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D but unfortunately in the UK I can only get season 2 so I've just started that it's killing me that I'm so far behind because there are so many spoilers on social media! I would like to bring Coulson into my story so tell me what you think about that but I can't think of a reason for him to enter the story. But I digress, I hope you enjoyed this long chapter and hopefully I will post this weekend or Monday :)**

 **Ps. Sorry for the long notes ;)**


	32. Odessa Chapter 32

_The whooshing sound of wind rushing through Winter's messy brown hair, the sound of muffled breathes escaping through the air holes of the muzzle like mask that covered the winter soldiers mouth as he sharply turns a corner barely making it into the narrow alley way. It was always hard when his victims ran from Winter but when they were moving in a vehicles it made it so much harder. He'd only been in this city for 48 hours stalking his pray waiting for him to make a move. While he waited he got to know the streets and memorising every detail of where he was to ensure he had the upper hand if his target made a break for it._

 _Like all his other instincts hunting came naturally to winter, he was never taught to track but it felt like second nature. Hunting like an animal, his only guess was that this was what hydra had given him that kind of knowledge. For as long as winter can remember Hydra has always been there for him. He hated that they were the closes thing he had to a family._

 _Bursting out of the alley, Winter had taken a detour so that he could intercept the vehicle he was following. Winter stepped out into the road in front of him as a van screeched around a corner, the driver barely had time to break but the van came skidding to a halt centimetres away from where Winter stood._

 _Most would have used the car door but Winter had his mark, he smashed his metal arm through windshield of the van and grabbed a fist full of clothing and pulled the man straight out of the driving seat. Winter lobbed the man several meters away from the van he then jumped off the bonnet of the van and walked with purpose toward the man on ground._

" _What did you do with it?" Winter spoke fluently in French._

 _The man was rather flustered at Winter's demand "do I have what?"_

 _Winter grabbed the man's collar and with little effort lifted the plump man off the ground with his feet daggling in the air "the hard drive" Winter growled through the muzzle._

 _The man gasped and his eye's widened, he spoke quietly "it's gone. I sold it." There was a dangerous pause the man looked into Winter's eyes for the first time and he saw a shade of blue that can only be found the middle of the sea but he looked deeper and saw a man scared and lost then suddenly it was gone replaced by an anger that rose from within._

 _In the same angry growl winter said "what is your buyer's name?"_

 _The man took a deep breath "I don't know his name." Winter raised the man higher and the van driver spoke faster "but I know he's a nuclear engineer."_

" _Where can I find him?" Winter lowered the man a little once he was finally getting the answers he wanted._

" _Odessa" the man blurted out._

" _Did you read the file?" Winter asked._

" _No I swear I didn't even open it." Winter smiled and let go of the man collar. The man fell to the floor and covered his face with his arm "I promise I didn't read it, please don't kill me" when there was no reply he peered over his arm and saw that he was alone._

 _About a week after his chase with the man in the van he was tracking the engineer, Winter had received word from hydra that they had managed to get the hard drive that he had been after and the documents were safe back at HQ, they gave him a new mission which was to terminate the nuclear engineer as he had most likely read the file and now has information he's no entitled to. Winter had a whole plan set there were fireworks scheduled for that night and Winter was going to find the perfect angle to snipe him which would be covered up by the noise of the fireworks._

 _However, Winter's planes were quickly scratched when a black car with the SHIELD logo on the side pulled up outside the engineer's house. There were two men wearing black suits followed a women wearing a black fitted jump suit with a red logo on her belt and fiery hair. Winter watched from behind his sniper as the three agents entered the house, minutes later the red headed women emerged out the front door escorting the engineer to the car and they drove off._

 _Winter rushed to his motorbike and sped off after the car, he followed the car all the way down a twist road. When there were no other cars around winter took a gun from one of his many side pockets and shot at the car's tires. The car swerved at the sudden loss of control and zoomed of the edge of a cliff._

 _Winter hit the brakes and went to check his target had been terminated, he'd learnt the hard way to double check his victims after one manage to fool him and as he walked away the target shot him twice in the back. Hydra almost had to cut Winter loss as they wouldn't have taken kindly to an assassin who couldn't walk but much to Winters disappointment, the technicians worked their magic and he was fighting fit in no time and had Winter learnt his lesson and never forgot it._

 _He peered over the cliff and saw the car upside down and there was no movement he started moving towards the car when he heard a loud thud from the direction of the car. Thud, thud,_ thud. _The window on the back door shattered and red headed women crawled out and dragged the engineer out behind her. Winter pulled out his gun, the red headed women heard Winter move and spun around and stepped in between him and his target. Winter let the bullet fly. It went straight through the women's lower left abdomen and into man she was protecting._

Bucky sat staring at Natasha at the dinner table, it was Tuesday which meant it was Avengers dinner night. He'd been interrogating Rumlow for the past week and memories from his past would sneak up on him when he was least expecting it. Bucky met Natasha's eyes for just a moment and he was filled with guilt because of what he did all those years ago when he's first met the famous black widow.

Steve's laugh drew Bucky's eyes away from Natasha's. Everyone was enjoying the group meal and were talking about Tony's obsession with his suits and how he had so many of them. Bucky was about to get up when Steve grabbed Bucky's hand under the table and squeezed it tightly. Bucky looked at Steve who gave him a resurging smile. Bucky hadn't told Steve he'd been having frequent flashbacks he just knew.

Steve leaned in closely to Bucky and said quietly so that only Bucky could hear "do you want to get some air." Bucky looked down at his plate of food he'd barely touched and knew Pepper would be upset if he didn't eat her homemade lasagne, not that she'd tell him, so he shook his head at Steve's offer and forced himself to eat this lasagne. It tasted so good and it lightened his mood a lot.

The dinner talk carried on while Bucky ate, he was still thinking about the memory he had just remembered and it was eating him away that he didn't know what was on that hard drive he was after. When Bucky could finally no longer stand no knowing he abruptly stood he was about to leave but when he reached the door he turned back to the table and saw all the avengers looking at him "Pepper that meal was lovely but I have to go, there's something I really have to do… ask" he ran to the elevator.

Rumlow was still in the interrogation room, they hadn't bothered moving him. Bucky walked confidently into the room.

"I wasn't expecting to see you again today Asset." Rumlow said like they were old friends.

"I'm not here for a mothers meeting Rumlow. Do you remember a mission I went on 6 years ago in Iran where I had to obtain a hard drive?" Bucky spoke fast he was egger to know. Somewhere inside him he felt that whatever was on that drive was important.

"I do." Rumlow said simply.

"What was on that drive?" Bucky demanded.

Rumlow shrugged "Information."

Bucky sighed, Rumlow was insufferable he'd been saying vague things like this all week, it just made the whole interrogation proses longer and Bucky was getting irritated "what kind of information" he said through his teeth.

Rumlow chewed his cheek then rolled his eyes and started talking "on that drive was information we'd accumulated over the years about you and all your weaknesses that we used to manipulate you."

"Why was it so important that I got that drive back?" Bucky asked he thought I would have been something more important than information about him.

"Because it had Hydra written all over it, if SHIELD had gotten their hands on it our cover would have been blow and we wouldn't have been able to give the world the freedom it deserved." Rumlow answered.

"What kind of weaknesses did it talk about on that drive?" Bucky could only think of one weakness that he had now, Steve, but how could that have been a weakness when he was the winter soldier, he didn't even know Steve existed.

"Well anything that bought back memories really for example we had to keep you out of Brooklyn at all costs, you don't like trains you'd always flip out and compromise the mission when you had to be on one. It also said we shouldn't send you out on any missions in America on the 4th of July, no one understood that one but no one was willing to risk it to find out what would happen if we did." Rumlow frowned and Bucky just smiled. "What is so important about that date anyway?"

Bucky laughed "it's funny really no matter how powerful Hydra was they weren't confident enough test how strong their mind wiping was and let me out on Captain America's birthday. Hydra is more pathetic than I thought." Bucky left Rumlow sitting in the interrogation room.

Bucky was proud that no matter how much Hydra's reputation defined them they were actually always scared that that they might lose their precious Asset. He locked the door behind him and Steve was there as he expected.

"Are you okay?" Steve asked concerned.

Bucky frowned then smiled to himself "I'm good," Bucky tilted his head "actually I'm better than good, I kinda feel…" Bucky couldn't find the word for how he felt but in a small way it was like he's bested Hydra, made them fear the loss of control over something they deemed to be their property.

"I get it." Steve closed the space between them "you have a sense of victory."

"Yeah I guess so, I just feel like over the 70 years I was controlled Hydra they never completely had me and that I think it thanks to you." Bucky's smile grew wider he leaned over to Steve and kissed him. "I love you."

Steve smiled at the ground "I love you more." Steve replied looked Bucky in the eyes and kissing him.

"Uhhhh get a room!" Natasha said from by the elevator. "And what you two just said was really cheesy."

"Don't ruin this moment Tasha!" Bucky said winking at her.

"Sorry but Pepper has requested that you, how did she put it, 'get your asses back to that table and wait till everyone's finished their dinner' and I use the word requested loosely it was more like demanded." Natasha explained.

"Well, we should go, no one argues with Miss Pepper Pots!" Bucky smiled and put his arm around Steve waist when they were in the elevator Bucky whispered to Steve "just wait until we get back to our apartment and fondue." Bucky smiled

Natasha cringed "wow, you just ruined fondue for me for like forever!"

"Now now Natasha don't assume things fondue is just cheese and bread my friend" Bucky smiled innocently.

"Oh… I thought you were talking about… you know but I guess cheese and bread is fun" Natasha said "I love fondue."

"So do I." Bucky said winking at Steve when Natasha left the elevator and when to sit back at the dinner table. Steve's cheeks were so red with embarrassment but he was also quite amused that Natasha didn't understand what fondue meant. "you up for some fondue later."

Steve kisses Bucky before going to join the other avengers at the dinner table.

Author's notes: **I am soooooooooooooo sorry it's been like to long since I last updated but I have a good reason I promise: my computer got a virus and I almost lost everything, I was super scared but it's okay I now have backups! I haven't had a computer for 2 weeks and when I borrowed my sister's laptop I wrote this chapter in under 2 hours which for me is quite quick. This chapter is, I think different from my previous chapter I think this is adding to Bucky's confidence and overcoming Hydra's grasp on him. I have a good idea on how to get Coulson into my story, so that should be exciting and hopefully that will lead to Bucky's birthday!(Finally)! I wanted the hard drive in this chapter to be something awesome that would make some sort of explosion of fear inside Bucky but I couldn't think of anything so went for July 4** **th** **which I know is an important date for America ;) and Captain America ;) thank you for all your comments and (Candi) I love reading you long reviews your just so enthusiastic and I appreciate every word. Thank you :)**


	33. how old are you' Chapter 33

Bucky hadn't had a peaceful night sleep in weeks and tonight wasn't any different. He was hanging on the edge of a train, hanging for his life then he slips and falls. The weightless sensation is too much.

Bucky jolts forward and was shocked to see that he was outside and the wind was howling around the trees above his head. It took him only a second to remember that both himself and Steve were out on a mission following a suspected terrorist.

Steve had been on first watch, Bucky took his head off Steve's shoulder, where he had fallen asleep and looked down at his watch and saw that it was around three in the morning "Stevie!" Bucky moaned "you said you were going to wake me at midnight! You promised."

Steve smiled "Relax, nothing was happening and you looked shattered pulse I wasn't tired." Steve looked down at his hand that was laced in Bucky's "besides I wanted you well rested."

"Why?" Bucky frowned at Steve.

"You deserve to be well rested on your Birthday." Steve smiled almost surprised that he had to explain himself, he then got up and walked over to his bag and started rummaging through it.

"Birthday?" Bucky immediately started trying to remember what day it was.

"Don't tell me you forgot your own birthday!" Steve chuckled, he fished out a small box wrapped in navy blue wrapping paper and a single gold ribbon tied around it. Steve walked back over to Bucky with a spring in his step and a big cheeky grin spread over his face, he handed the small gift to Bucky. "Happy birthday, James Barnes"

 _Steve and Bucky had both been woken for their turn to be on watch, all the other howling commandos had had their turn at protecting camp and know it was captain America and his best friends turn. They both sat at opposite sides of their camp space but they could still see each other and at 5 seconds to midnight Bucky looked over at his old friend who was holding up one hand and counting down the seconds on his hand. When it was officially Bucky's birthday Steve said under his breath "happy birthday James Barnes"_

 _At first Bucky thought he'd imaged Steve saying it, no way could his hearing be that good, Steve was just over 50 meters away and he barely whispered it. What had hydra done to him? It almost like they had enhanced certain things about him, Bucky had noticed that something were different after Steve rescued him from that hydra base, he was healing faster, he could run faster, his aim was amazingly better and now his hearing had improved. It was scaring Bucky by on the other hand it was a huge advantage and it had helped him a lot when in some sticky situations. He hadn't told Steve because he didn't really know what to say._

 _Bucky noticed he'd been frowning at the floor for a long time so he looked up at Steve and whispered "thanks pal" knowing that Steve would definitely hear him because he too had been experimented on by German scientists but his was done_ almost _pain free._

The present made a little rattling sound when Bucky shook it by his ear, he smiled and ripped of the wrapping paper revealing a little black box, after taking off the lid Bucky looked inside and saw a key with a key ring loop on it.

"What does it open?" Bucky asked eagerly all the possibilities in his head.

"nothing." Steve smiled and Bucky's shoulders dropped a little "it doesn't open anything" Steve paused smiled at Bucky's confused face and continued "it turns on the engine to the motorbike I bought you back at home."

Bucky's jaw dropped, he was speechless, he couldn't think of anything to say so instead he leaned in and kissed Steve. Steve sighed and grabbed the back of Bucky neck, Bucky closed his eyes and moved his hands through Steve's hair. Bucky pulled away slightly and opened his eyes to look at Steve "I love you, Stevie." he whispered he saw Steve smile a little through the morning light then closed his eyes again and carried on kissing Steve however, they couldn't get too distracted they had a job to do

It wasn't long until the criminals started to move, there were about six suspected terrorists all emptying out of their camp site and loaded into cars and were about to leave when there was a loud thud on the top of the car, Bucky's arm smashed through the windscreen and pulled the steering wheel straight out like it wasn't attached. Steve threw his shield at one of the men who had opened the passenger door and tried to make a break for it.

"Anyone else?" Steve shouted out at the car as the he walked passed the unconscious criminal on the floor. All the doors to the car swung open and the rest of the criminals came out with their hand up and shaking.

"Brilliant." Bucky said jumping down from the roof and rubbing his hands together "I love it when they surrender, it is so much easier then when they try and fight their way out. I'm too old for that kind of shit."

They tied up the criminals up and dropped them off at the nearest prison then hopped onto the Quinjet, they put on autopilot and sat in the back talking about what they had done on Bucky's past birthdays. The arrived at stark tower about an hour later and when they walked into the main level everyone was there. There was a big banner hanging from the ceiling that read 'happy birthday Barnes'.

There was a small cheer from the other Avengers when they walked in.

"There he is!" Natasha said, she ran over to Bucky and almost leaped on him she'd flung her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, Bucky was a little shocked at first but quickly got used to this fun bubbly Natasha.

Tony stood next to her and shook Bucky's hand firmly "happy birthday mate." He said handing Bucky a blue envelope with his name neatly scribbled across it. Bucky opened the envelope and pulled out a card with a birthday cake on it with so many candles on it that some were falling off and the caption read 'you know you're old when…' Bucky chuckled. "I thought it was fitting because your how old?"

Bucky thought for a second while he did the math "um… 98 but in my head I'm only 20ish" Bucky smiled to himself wondering how all those years had been taken from him. He looked around at the others and saw that Clint had a box similar to Steve's small one but this one was much bigger.

"Happy birthday it's from all of us" Clint pointed to the other avengers in the room before handing the box over. "it's from Thor as well but of course you know he can't be here because he went back to Asguard to sort out a few things."

Bucky nodded and then looked down at the present "Guys, you shouldn't have…" Bucky started before being interrupted by Bruce

"It's from all of us so don't bother with all that politeness." Bruce laughed "just open it."

Bucky pulled off the gold ribbon just as the last one and opened the box just as he'd done but this time it revealed a brand new uniform so he wouldn't have to wear the one hydra gave him. This suit was nice it was still black but now it had more pockets, instead of the stripes going across his chest he had a big star, it sort of looked like Steve's captain America suit but instead it was all made out of leather. It only had one sleeve and on the right shoulder it had an avengers 'A' stuck on it. Bucky loved it he was also glad not to have the jacket hydra had given him because it wasn't the highest quality and he'd never liked it because it felt like a straitjacket but it was very practical.

Bucky was speechless again, he was never any good at receiving gifts. "Seriously, you shouldn't have…" Bucky trailed off as Bruce sighed. "Thank you, I cannot even begin to tell you how grateful I am for this."

Tony would have made a joke about how it was only a present but instead there was silent because for the first time the other avengers realised how much Bucky really was grateful and not just for a birthday present but for their friendship, a home and also a family.

Bucky held his new uniform out in front of him so he could give it a good look and when he was folding it and putting it back in the box JARVIS's voice spoke gently from above "Mr stark, someone seems to be over riding my programming…" JARVI's voices drowned away and another wave of silence echoed across the room.

"JARVIS?" Tony called out.

Steve grabbed his shield, Natasha pulled a gun from out of her boot and Bucky pulled a gun from beneath the sofa. Clint took out a small pen shaped object and with a flip of the wrist and enormous bow unfolded. They all looked at the elevator waiting to see who was hacking JARVIS system and was coming to attack.

The elevator doors slid open and everyone aimed their weapons.

"Wicked!" a high pitched voice from a women said "I can't believe I'm in Stark tower!" she walked out of the elevator, ignoring the fact she was being targeted by the avengers of all people, her eye's wondered over the well-known faces of the team before her.

Behind her a man in a suit walked out the elevator with amazing style "Skye, we talked about this were here on business." At the sound of this man's voice everyone lowered their weapons apart from Bucky who still targeted both of the intruders.

"Coulson?" Tony gasped "this can't… you di… you were dead…what…?" Tony's face resembles a forgetful gold fish and his jaw was going up and down as he couldn't think about what to say.

Bucky hadn't lowered his weapon and didn't take his eye off the man named Coulson while he spoke to Steve "do you know him?"

"yeah… sort off, he died." Steve said simply also as shocked as Tony.

"Well he looks alive to me." Bucky replied.

"Oh my God! Bucky Barnes! Bucky Barnes is pointing a gun at me! I never thought I'd get the pleasure. It's an honour." The women Skye almost screamed. Coulson just rolled his eyes.

"It's okay Mr Barnes, we're no threat" Coulson said politely like he was taming a wild animal. Bucky looked at the other is assurance that it was okay to lower his gun and when Steve gave a little nod, Bucky dropped defence, however, he adjusted his position so he was slightly in front of Steve like he was protecting him. "I know this is a shock, I know I should be dead and I was but it's complicated and a long story."

"We've got time" Natasha said bluntly, she had lowered her weapon but her grip on the handle was tight.

"I'm afraid it's classified, level 10." Coulson walked a few steps into the room and folded his arms he was closely followed by Skye who was looking at Natasha in awe.

"Classified?" Steve questioned "by who?"

"S.H.I.E.L.D." Skye said quickly like she was proud of it.

Steve looked directly at Skye and she smiled "S.H.I.E.L.D. is gone I destroyed it, it went down with Hydra." Steve gets very defensive when it comes to Hydra.

"Firstly," Skye started "big fan, love your work and secondly, S.H.I.E.L.D. isn't gone, we rose from the ashes you buried us under and regrouped."

"Skye." Coulson said sharply "remember what we discussed" Skye nodded and rolled her eyes and walked back to the elevator and stood by the doors without a word "I'm sorry for all the secrecy you of all people should understand how important this all is. Anyway back to business I'm here to take Rumlow off your hands. It's my understanding that you've been questioning him."

"Yes" Bucky answered quickly.

"And are you finished?"

Bucky shrugged "I guess"

"Good, I'll take him now." He started to leave.

"Wait, that's it?" Natasha said with attitude "you come in here, spring on us that you're alive and you survived an Asgardian stabbing you through the chest and now you're taking our prisoners and just leaving with another word?" Natasha was angry.

"Nat, I promise I'm going to explain but I have business to attend to but I will come back and tell you as much as I can." He was almost at the elevator when he rushed back "almost forgot…" he fished out a white envelope and held it out towards Bucky "this is for you." He turned and walked away "happy birthday." Leaving the stunned avengers both Skye and Coulson jumped in the elevator to pick up Rumlow.

Bucky opened the envelop and pulled out a letter that was a very official looking letter, her started reading the letter and frowned. "What does it say?" Steve asked.

"It's a letter saying I need to attend court to receive my pardon, it says that they are basically giving me forgiveness for everything I did as the winter soldier." Bucky said in a very shocked but happy voice.

Author's notes: **part 1 of 2 of Bucky's birthday. I do apologise for not writing I still don't have a computer and Christmas sort of over took my life. But my** **New Year's resolution is to write more. I'm also going to go back to the beginning and read my whole story because I have ideas I just can't remember which ones I've added and it might give me some inspiration. (candi) my last chapter was called Odessa because that is where he met black widow and tried to kill her it's mentioned in captain America: the winter soldier. I also have a bobble head but mines baby Groot and I love him. Unfortunately I haven't seen the star wars but agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 3 comes on in the UK on the 10** **th** **of Jan so I'm super-duper excited! I'll update soon I hope. xxx**


	34. Brooklyn boys Chapter 34

About 2 hours after Coulson's return everyone was still stunned but most of all surprised at the news of Bucky's upcoming pardon but most of all Bucky was by far the most startled. Never did he think people would come to understand what he did let alone forgive him for it.

Even though everyone had received a great shock from Coulson and the rebirth of S.H.I.E.L.D it was still, after all, Bucky's birthday and Steve was taking him out for a lunch date. They took the elevator down to the garage where a shiny black Harley Davidson motorbike with a subtle red trim sat with a large gold bow on the side. A gasp left Bucky's lips as soon as he saw the tremendous bike. He circled the bike in disbelief that it now belonged to him. Steve stood off to the side smiling; he was glad that Bucky liked it because he had this childish shine in his eyes that Steve hadn't seen since before the war.

Bucky kept muttering to himself about how 'beautiful' the bike was and coming out with rhetorical statements like 'imagine how fast it could go'. Bucky wiped out the key for the bike from his pocket and plugged it into the ignition, the bike roared to life like thunder in a loud storm. Bucky swung his leg over the bike and comfortable sat down. He looked over at Steve who was getting ready to jump onto his own bike.

"There's no point taking two bikes." Bucky said over the noise of the motorbike. Steve smiled and walked over to Bucky and sat behind locking his arms tightly around Bucky's waist. Steve rested his head on Bucky's shoulder and lightly kissed his neck. They both laughed a little when the bike jolted forward out of the garage. The swished in and out of cars passing by the traffic and speeding down the road. Bucky felt so free because he has the ability to go where he pleased and go as fast as he liked (within the speed limit because how embarrassing would it be if police pulled Captain America and his fiancé over for speeding.)

Just under half an hour they were in the heart of their hometown, Brooklyn. They whizzed down streets that they hadn't been down in several decades. They found a street that over many years had changed but they had both walked down hundreds of times in the past. They turned one last corner where there used to be a building that had several floors, but the only one Steve and Bucky had been in was the bottom one because they both used to live in it many years back. However, the building they had sheared so many memories together in was gone and replaced by a long row of fancy restaurants.

"I don't know what I was expecting to find really." Bucky said with a frown looking at the spot where his house used to be, Bucky continued "I knew it wouldn't still be here, but I didn't think it would just be completely gone." While Bucky was talking Steve had been rubbing his hand over Bucky's right arm, comforting him but then something caught his eye, the restaurant that was where the house used to be was called 'the Brooklyn boys'. They parked the bike at the top of the road, Bucky pulled up his hood and Steve put on a baseball cap to attempt to not draw attention to themselves.

They entered the restaurant and they were both confronted by a mass of colour, there was a recurring theme of the red, white and blue. On the walls there were large illustrations of Captain America with the artist signature ' ' in the corner. Bucky and Steve found a table for two in the corner and sat down.

"Wow…" Steve said in amazement, looking around the restaurant. "I kinda like it"

"Do you think it's here by coincident or because they knew you used to live here?" Bucky questioned.

Before Steve could answer a waitress came over to their table she was dressed like one of the show girls from Captain America's theatre performance. "Haya fine fellas what can I get ya toady?" the lady spoke with a high pitched voice.

"Could we see a menu?" Bucky looked up at the happy lady.

"sure." She rushed off to grab the menus and returned only moments later. She handed both of them a menu each "I'll give ya some time" she almost twirled around and walked away to another table. They both looked down at their menus, all the names of the meals and drinks were named after things that linked with Captain America, like 'the howling commandos _stake_ out', 'the Carter cocktail' and 'the shield salad'.

"These are hilarious, what are you thinking of getting?" Bucky asked Steve.

"I think I fancy the 'the Roger ribs' I'm in the mood for a good rack of ribs" Steve said nodding as he put his menu down on the table "what you getting?"

"I can't decide." Bucky frowned again.

The waitress hand reappeared with a note pad and pen "so what am I gettin' ya boy?" she said in the same high pitched voice as before.

"Can I have the ribs please?" Steve asked the waitress.

"Nifty choice, oh I almost forgot to tell ya the specials, you should know that today is Sgt Barnes' birthday, he was best pals with Capin America didn' you know?" her words came out quickly in excitement, Steve and Bucky just nodded slightly amused she hadn't recognised them, "So in celebration of his big day, we got 'the Buchannan Burger', 'the BBQ Bucky sauce' and 'the big Barnes banana split' do any of those interest you?" when she stopped talking she smiled.

"Yeah could I get the burger please?" Bucky replied.

"Absolutely I can get that for ya." She took one step away then came straight back "do I know you two fellas from somewhere?" she paused then put her hand up "wait don't tell me it will come to me, I'm good with faces, it'll come to me soon" she walked away and while Steve and Bucky waited for their food they saw the waitress occasionally look over at them then shake her head then carry on thinking. She skipped back over to their table with two plated of food "well I haven't remembered who you are yet but I'll get there, Okie doki, I have a rack of 'roger ribs' for you sir and a 'Buchannan burger' for- OH MY GOSH!" the waitress almost dropped the burger into Bucky's lap, her high pitched voice had gone and she was jumping up and down. "YOU'RE THEM! YOU'RE - OH MY GOSH". Everyone was staring at their table in disbelief some were muttering and whispering things like 'that's Captain America!'. They prepared themselves for a bombardment of people but instead of everyone getting up to rushing to get signatures they stayed in their seats and started clapping.

After they had finished clapping Steve and Bucky had the pleasure of being able to eat in privacy, people respected them to allow them to eat in peace until their waitress bought out their pudding, it was a banana split with candles in the top, everyone in the restaurant started singing happy birthday to Bucky.

Before they left they both signed a piece of paper and took a photo with the manager of the restaurant "I'm going to print it out and frame with the autographs then hang it on the wall to show that you were here." The manager said happily "thank you ever so much for dropping by. We will forever be indebted to you."

"You gave us delicious food so were even" Bucky said patting the man on the shoulder.

They left the restaurant feeling full "let's go home, I could sleep for the rest of the day." Bucky started in the direction of the bike. Bucky started up the engine and looked at Steve who was texting on his phone.

"Who you texting?" Bucky said over the engine.

"No one..." Steve said shoving the phone back in his pocket.

Bucky rolled his eyes "Whatever, get on"

Steve didn't get on the bike "are sure you don't want to walk around a little before we go home."

"What?"

"How about we take the long route home?" Steve shrugged, "or drive around Brooklyn for a little longer…"

Bucky turned off the engine "Steve what's going?"

Steve sighed "uh, the rest of the team is throwing you a surprise party tonight and I was tasked of keeping you away from Stark Tower for the day."

Bucky got of the bike and took Steve's hand "is that what you were texting about?" Steve nodded, Bucky was thoughtful for a moment "why don't you tell them were going back to the apartment and to just text you when they're ready and I'll act like I don't know."

"I guess that could work but what are we going to do in the apartment while we wait? It's your birthday we should be doing something fun" Steve asked.

Bucky chuckled "I'm sure we'll find something that's fun that we can do."

"Monopoly?" Steve frowned.

Bucky chuckled "I was thinking something more like fondue but feel free to play Monopoly if want" Steve's Cheek's when bright red.

The elevator doors opened and they walked into the apartment Bucky went into the living space and took his coat off and threw it onto the sofa "so do you want to play Monopoly now or after"

"Shut up" Steve said moving towards Bucky, Steve ran his fingers through Bucky's hair and started kissing him. Bucky pulled the zip on Steve's hoodie and tossed it across the room while Steve flicked his shoes off. Slowey without breaking apart for a second they moved towards the bed room as one. Bucky sat down on the bed while Steve stayed standing he placed one hand underneath Bucky's chin and carefully pulled his head up so that they were face to face. Steve to lean down and kiss Bucky again.

Letting his eyes close, Bucky felt Steve's fingers move from under his chin and lightly start tracing slow circles on his human shoulder, drawing lines down the muscles of his arms through his shirt. Steve dipped his head and traced light kisses down Bucky's neck. Shivering slightly, Bucky slid his hands around to hold Steve's sides and then slipped his hands under Steve's shirt, feeling the warm curves of Steve's abdomen. Steve grabbed the hem of Bucky's shirt and pulled it off in one quick movement without ripping it on Bucky's metal arm. His eyes skimmed over Bucky's bear chest and returned to his neck, whispered "so perfect" while he kissed. The vibrations of Steve's words send another shiver down Bucky's spine.

"Happy birthday" Steve whispered into Bucky's ear.

"I love you" Bucky whispered back.

Natasha texted Steve that the 'surprise' party was ready. Bucky wasn't too dressed up as he thought if he was dressed all fancy then they would know that he knew, so he went casual. Steve took Bucky's hand and they walked into the elevator together.

The doors opened up to a room that was completely pitch black.

"JARVIS, lights" Steve said, the lights lit up the room revealing a big crowd of people.

"Surprise!" they all shouted then there was a big whoop.

"I had no idea" Bucky said trying to sound believable, Natasha flung her arms around Bucky again.

"happy birthday, you know for a secret agent who made us all believe he was a ghost story for like 50 years you sure are a shit liar." She let go of Bucky and looked at Steve, she lightly slapped Steve over the head "and you Mr Rogers call yourself a spy? You can't even keep a secret."

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BUCKY!" tony called across the room "JARVIS WHERES THE MUSIC?" music started blasting from all the speakers that were dotted around the room.

Natasha grabbed Bucky's hand and pulled him over to the bar, the man who was serving cocktails smiled when they arrived "what can I get you Miss Romanoff?" Natasha whet behind the bar so that she was next to the bartender.

"I'm okay Charlie, I'm gonna make the birthday boy a special drink that I'm sure he'll enjoy." Natasha started blending different liquids and ice together and shaking them thoroughly, she poured the drink into some clear classes, it came out as a pinky/white-ish colour and the second Bucky took a sip he instantly enjoyed it.

"Wow…" Bucky gasped "keep those coming!"

Bucky moved from crowd of people to the next, saying hello, thanking them for coming and telling them to enjoy the rest of their night. It grew very tiring, the same thing as every other party he'd been to.

He saw Steve across the room with Natasha tasting the drink she had given to him previously. He started walking over to them when he saw Sam sitting on his own drinking beer out of the bottle. When Sam saw Bucky walking towards him he smiled warmly. "Haya dude, how the birthday going?" Sam asked.

"Terrific!" Bucky took a seat next to Sam "so why are you sitting alone?"

Sam sighed "cause I barely know anyone man. All you Avengers have all these connections all these cool people you know because you've been and done stuff, but I'm here because I happened to be out on the Sam run at the same time as Captain America and I have really awesome wings. I just not like you guys" Sam shook his head.

"You are an Avenger Sam, don't tell yourself that your different you've erned the right to say your part of the team" Bucky said over the music "You think me or Steve know any of these people? There all here because either they know Tony or they want the chance to party with the avengers." Sam looked at Bucky, surprised to be hearing him say this.

"But I just saw you talking to people like you were old friends." Sam frowned.

"Sam, I've never met these people in my life, well as far as I can remember." They both chuckled "Don't tell Steve and Natasha but I would have been very happy to have just my real friends enjoying a night together talking about old stories and making fun of each other. However, that did not happen, so stop being such a downer at my party and come and get drunk with me and Natasha while Steve makes sure we don't embarrass ourselves." Sam nodded at him and they both went to make sure Natasha was making a fresh batch of that wonderful drink she made earlier.

Authors notes: **yay part 2, whoooooo! So the next few chapter are going to be moving quickly time wise because I would like to get a move on with the wedding! Its currently march in the story and the wedding is in July so I'll bee skipping a few months but I have it all planned so just sit back and relax ;) omg candi the first episode of agent of shield was on the other day I almost died and it was only the first episode I totally ship fitzsimmons (but not as much as stucky) (but it's a close call) ;)**


	35. Birthday Boxing day Chapter 35

The party had been so much fun; Natasha had gotten a little tipsy and had forced Clint to dance with her in the middle of the room in front of everyone. Sam had become more relaxed and didn't worry about fitting in and spent the rest of the night going round to the crowds of random people and told them that he was an avenger and proud to be. Tony started a game of one on one beer pong which became a massive tournament where Steve was the undefeated winner due to the fact he couldn't actually get drunk. Pepper let her hair down and had a go, it was an extraordinarily close game but Steve pulled through. Even Bruce was enjoying himself slightly more than usual by starting a one man karaoke and it wasn't long before he was convinced that it was probably best to stop.

Bucky consumed with happiness, didn't drink as much because he was scared he was going to forget tonight, he wanted to remember every second of this birthday.

Bucky woke up the next morning earlier than usual because of a White hot pain in his head radiated deep within his skull. Bucky sat up in his bed unaware, for just a moment, of where he was. Bucky put a hand to his stomach, something didn't feel right.

He made a break for the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before he vomited; He pulled his hair out of the way then threw up again. He sunk against the tile floor allowing the cold from the tiles to pass through him; he pressed his cold metal had to his fore head in an effort to cool the fire that was burning inside.

"Bucky?" he heard Steve call from the bedroom.Bucky sat up dizzy; he quickly rinsed mouthwash around his mouth to get rid of the smell on his breath and walked out the bathroom. Steve popped his head out the bed room door "Bucky? What are you doing?" Steve asked a little worried.

"Nothing" Bucky rubbed the back of his head the pain fading slightly.

Steve frowned "I thought I heard you…" he trailed off.

Bucky ran his hand through his hair and pulled it into a messy bun "side effects of a hangover." Bucky dropped his hands from his hair and shrugged. He smiled "sorry I woke you."

Steve smiled back "that's okay" Steve leaned against the door frame and looked up at the clock on the wall "well I would say let's go back to bed but there's no real point as I have to go on a patrol in like an hour and a half." Steve looked into the bedroom then at the clock again "I think I'm gonna take a jog you wanna come?"

The pain had died away in his head but he still didn't feel right and he knew running would no way help his situation. "Na I'm not feeling up to it, why don't you take Sam, I know he's been dying to go running with you for ages." Bucky shrugged.

Steve smiled at the ground; he was starting excited about his run it had been so long since he'd lapped Sam "do you want me to make some breakfast before I go?"

Bucky still felt nauseated, so he shook his head "I think I'm just gonna take a shower."

Steve walked topless towards the kitchen "your loss" he said as he went "I was gonna make ya pancakes" Steve walked into kitchen.

At the mention of pancake Bucky gagged a little, made a U-turn and went the shower with a detour to the toilet so that he throw up again. It tasted awful.

The water ran through Bucky's hair and down his back. Bucky had turned the shower to the coldest setting because he could feel himself getting hotter and hotter. He rinsed his hair of shampoo then just stood there allowing himself to unwind.

Eventually he slowly made his way back to the bedroom, the shower had helped his head ace and he no longer felt like he had to throw up. While getting dressed him accidently caught his T-shirt on his metal arm but without realising what he'd done he tugged on the fabric causing it to rip and pull up one of the metal plated exposing the wiring beneath. Bucky closed his eyes and lifted his head up to the ceiling sighing as he did so. Frustrated, he took a deep breath to calm himself. He'd had the metal arm for how long? Over, what 70 years? And he's still ripping his t-shirts. Bucky didn't really understand why he was so angry, he just felt disappointed. _It's just a t-shirt_ he thought to himself. Bucky shook his head and threw the t-shirt off and instead he just put on a hoddie without a T-shirt underneath.

Steve had left for his run and Bucky needed Tony to have a look at his metal arm but who knows how late stark will awaken. Nevertheless, Bucky made his way down to the lab. He was surprised to see Bruce standing by one of the many lab computer screens tapping away at a colourful looking graph. Bucky moved over to Bruce and when he looked up from the computer screen he gasped "Bucky!" Bruce put his hand to his chest and looked down at his watch which monitored his heart rate "you scared me, announce your presence next time before I have a heart attack 'cos your eerily quiet"

Bucky put his hands up in surrender "sorry, decades of practice and assassin training" Bucky smiled innocently.

Bruce pushed his gasses up his noise "what up?" Bucky lifted his arm to show the broken plate. Bruce leaned closer to have a better look "well this kind of stuff is usually left for Tony, I can have a look if you like but…" Bruce shook his head.

"It's okay, Tony will be able to fix it within second, I'll wait for him to get his butt outta bed." Bucky said

"You could be waiting a while" Bruce laughed "you're welcome to hang out here." Bucky nodded then stared looking at one of Tony's robots that had a cone on its head with the words Dummy written on it.

"How you been recently?" Bucky asked without taking his eye off the robot.

Bruce nodded "yeah good, well as good as I can be" Bruce turned back to one of the computers. "So how was your hang over this morning?"

Bucky frowned and turned to look at Bruce "actually it was weird, I barely drank last night but I had the worst head ace" Bucky moved to one of the swivel chairs and perched on the edge.

"Maybe you drank more than you thought?" Bruce said looking up from the screen and pushing his glasses back up his noise, Bucky just shrugged. The elevator doors opened and it was a few seconds until Tony slouched into the lab.

"Oh hey Buck, thank goodness you only have one birthday a year" Tony mumbled, he shuffled across the room to the desk that Bucky was sitting behind "I don't think I can deal with these kinds of hang overs anymore. What you here for?"

Bucky raised his arm showing Tony the broken plate "stupid thing caught on my T-shirt."

"Should be an easy fix, I took the liberty in making a selection of new plates so that if this happened in the near future I'd be able to make your arm look brand new." Tony walked to a different desk patting Bruce on the shoulder as he went; he opened a draw and pulled out a shiny silver plate. "Oh almost forgot," tony walked back over to where Bucky was sitting and pulled up a chair. "Coulson got in tough and he has a new gun he wants you to switch to."

Tony sat and started unscrewing the Brocken plate "so let me get this straight this guy claimed to be dead for months, then just swans back in and tells me, a man he's never met before, to change the weapons I use?"

Tony raised his eye brows "that's Coulson for you but he actually wants us all to change pulse he's a massive fan of yours." Bucky frowned a fan? Confusing. What did that mean?

It wasn't long before Tony was finished with the arm and Bucky was ready to go. Bucky was opening and closing his hand like he was testing it. "Thank you" he stood and went to the elevator, Steve would probably be back from his run by now and getting ready for his work shift, Tony called to him.

"Wait will you test the gun?" asked Tony.

Bucky rolled his eyes and nodded. Tony picked up the gun that he wanted Bucky to try out and lobbed it towards the elevator. Bucky caught it without any effort and entered the elevator. While he was in the elevator he looked at the gun the words 'night night model' was engraved in the side of the gun and on the handle there was a small print of an eagle. "JARVIS tell Steve that I'm going down to the shooting range."

"Yes, Sargent Barnes." The voice from the ceiling said.

Once again the elevator doors swung open revealing a long corridor with a target at the very end with a silhouette on the wall, there were a large range of guns spread across the wall. Bucky weighed the gun in his hands then took his stand on the range, he held the gun in his right hand and used his left to stabilise his right. He aimed the gun at the head of the silhouette and pulled the trigger.

There was a flash of blue. Bucky lowered the gun and frowned, the gun was a little of balanced and caused him to miss the target which was wired but the blue flash was weirder. What was that blue flash? He shot twice more at the target this time hitting it but still little off.

"Their called I.C.E.R.S" Steve said from behind Bucky, Bucky turned to look at Steve who was leaning against the wall watching him he was in full Captain America uniform with his shield on his back.

"I didn't hear you come in, I'm impressed. Anyway, what are they?" Bucky asked.

"I got JARIS to tell me on my way down, he said they are a form of tranquilizer that knocks out any person you shoot and they were created by some sort of scientists called Leo Fitz and Jemma Simmons." Steve shrugged "whoever they are, they made them so that we can shoot criminals without killing them. How does it feel?"

Bucky weighed the gun in his hands again "it's about an ounce too heavy." Steve shook his head and smiled at the ground. Bucky put the gun down on a table in the corner and moved over to where Steve was standing; Steve met Bucky's eyes and smiled wider. "How long until you leave?"

Steve lifted a hand to move a strand of hair out of Bucky's eyes and tucked it behind his ear "in like 5 minutes, just came down here to say goodbye, Sam's on his way down to collect me." Steve's hand pressed against Bucky's jaw line and Bucky pressed his face into Steve's hand and smiled sweetly at him.

"Be safe out there okay." Bucky said taking Steve's hand away from his face and held in his own sandwiched between metal and flesh.

"I promise there won't be a scratch." Steve places his other hand on his hart. He leaned forward and kissed Bucky's check, he went too pulled back when Bucky pulled him into a kiss. The two men sighed happily and didn't even break apart when they heard the elevator doors open.

"Rogers let go." Sam said, he was also dressed in full falcon gear, he put his hands between the lift doors keeping them open long enough for Steve to hope in.

"Be safe." Bucky said to Steve then turned to Sam "you too." Sam nodded, Sam would never let another wing man slip between his fingers.

"I will, and don't _you_ do anything stupid while I'm gone, like accidently shoot yourself." Steve nodded towards the gun on the table. "Love you" He smiled one last time before the doors closed completely.

"Love you too Stevie." Bucky said into the silence, he turned picked up the night night pistol and begun firing at the target once more.

Authors notes: **wow! 35 CHAPTERS! Never thought it would get this far. *smiles proudly* So this was sort of a dull chapter (very mundane) but this is an important chapter (even if it doesn't seem that way) it is going to lead to the wedding (fingers crossed) as long as I don't digress, again. I'm trying to post as often as possible, but you know life get in the way, a lot *sighs* hope this chapter wasn't too boring, it will (I hope) get better next chapter as Bucky's going back to court! Yay. Best of wishes. (Heya Candi** **) xx**


	36. Court Date Chapter 36

Weeks later Bucky was standing in his bedroom looking up at a black suit that was hanging from the door frame. He'd finally got his court date and he was making himself look presentable. This morning he'd woken with the same head ace as before, it had become a reoccurring thing over the last few weeks.

With a heavy head Bucky slips into his trousers on and pulled his white shirt over his shoulders, he slides into the black blazer jacket then ties the laces on his smart shoes. Finally he picks up the tie that was on his bed swung it around his neck and walked out of the room. Steve was in the kitchen flipping pancakes; Bucky walked over to Steve and kissed his neck muttering good morning. Steve turned around and pulled Bucky in closely and kissed him, as they kissed Steve's hands moved up Bucky's chest and grabbed the tie, without even looking Steve tied a full Winsor knot around Bucky's neck. They broke apart and Steve ran his eyes from Bucky's feet to the top hair on his head.

Steve sighted happily "God you look sexy in that suit" both men chuckled together; Steve was in a grey three pieced suit with a pair of brown shoes and a red tie, of all colours. Steve turned back to the perfectly cooked pancake he picked up the frying pan and threw the pancake over his shoulder; the pancake whizzed across the room and landed perfectly flat on the plate that was on the dinner table. He looked at Bucky with a proud smile "breakfast is served"

"Clearly," Bucky walked over the table and put Nutella spread over his pancake and rolled it up taking a big bite. Steve sat across the table from Bucky taking the sugar and lemon juice and drizzled them over his pancake then folding it into quarters and used a knife and fork to cut bite sized pieces.

"So today it the big day" Steve said when he'd finished his pancakes.

Bucky smiled "It funny really, last time I went to court, they were trying to send me to prison but now they're forgiving me of the crimes that they found me innocent of." Bucky picked up his and Steve's plates and took them to the sink.

As Bucky was rinsing the dishes Steve came over and put his arms around Bucky's waist and placed his head on his shoulder for a moment the two relaxed in their snazzy suits and calm moods, thinking about how far both of them had come and both so overwhelmed that they found each other after such a bumpy road. However, like always, their moment was interrupted as Pepper walked into the kitchen, when she realised she had walked in on Steve and Bucky she tried to sneak out but Steve turned around.

"Pepper?"Steve said to her back.

"Sorry I didn't mean to intrude…" Pepper said apologetically.

Bucky looked at pepper and shook his head "no you're not intruding, what up?" he smiled at her.

"I just came in to tell you that it's time to go." Pepper said she was also dressed smartly, she was wearing a white fitted dress suit with a thin black belt, her strawberry blond hair was pulled into a neat pony tail, if Bucky wasn't head over heels for his precious Stevie and Pepper wasn't in a relationship with, of all people, Tony, Bucky would be attracted to her.

"Pep we have like three hours before it starts." Steve put his hands on his hips and stood in a very captain America-ish way.

"I wouldn't argue with her cap, that's a battle you will never win," Tony said coming into the kitchen putting his arm around pepper "trust me."

They left together and went down to the lobby as several shiny black cars pulled up. A man called Happy opened the door for Bucky and Steve; they got in and zipped down the streets toward where the Quinjet was parked.

The journey to DC only took an hour and they were sitting in the waiting room with an hour and a half to spear. Bucky didn't really understand why he was nervous, he was unaware that he was violently jumping his leg up and down until Steve put his hand on Bucky's thigh to stop him from shaking the chairs, Bucky put his hand on top Steve's and squeezed it lightly.

Seconds felt like hours, nobody talked because they didn't know what to say. They were all very pleased that Bucky was having the last weight of his past lifted off his shoulders and they knew that Bucky knew so there was no point in making pointless coverstation.

They were taken into a large court room and all Bucky's fellow avengers piled into the bench at the front, Bucky walked down the centre of the benches and through a little gate separating the witnesses from the judges area. Bucky stood directly in front of the judge then the whole court fell silent.

The judge coughed, then she started to speak "Mr Barnes, I would like to formally apologise for everything you been through, I have toughly read the many extensive files about the past 70 years of your life. It deeply saddens me to read that, a man so loyal to his country and to be best friends of our hero Captain Rogers, could be so mistreated. It was wrong, the things you have done… the things you were forced to do is unspeakable and shameful that I wouldn't wish it on anyone. However this is not a guilt that you should have to bear. It is not for you to burden yourself with the shame of those who how have conflicted such suffering upon you. Today I have called you forward from your home in New York City, where you have recreated a life for yourself, to formally pardon you of all crimes you commented when under the influence of the organisation, Hydra." There was a small pause, the court was deadly silent "normally at this point I read out the list of crimes that your being pardoned for but given that there is 70 years' worth the of them, many we still don't know about and might never know about, the list is incredibly long and you most likely want to start life as a free man as soon as possible." The judge got up from her seat and got down from her podium "I don't usually get up from my seat because it's meant to show that I am the superior ruling in this court room to give out justice where I see fit but I feel that in this case justice has failed you, sir and as a result you suffered 70 years of hell without anyone noticing. For that I am truly sorry for what happened to you" the judge extended her right hand out, Bucky took her hand in his and shook it firmly.

Bucky was in shock.

The judge led Bucky to a table with a piece of paper placed on it, she handed him a pen and Bucky sighed on the dotted lines which followed by the judge signing underneath and then stamping the paper with a small official looking stamp.

"There, you are officially a free man." She smiled kindly at Bucky. She returned to her seat "is there anything you wish to say?"

"Um…" Bucky was speechless but he felt he had to say something "thank you, I went 70 years without anyone showing me a shred of kindness, I have spent my recent days since I was found by Steve being afraid of who I was and wheatear what Hydra did to me would permanently change me. I never expected anyone to want to forgive me but I will be eternally grateful that you did." Bucky had forgotten that there was whiteness behind him and he jumped when he heard everyone start clapping.

When everyone exited the court room Bucky made a beeline straight for Steve and pulled him into a tight hug planting his face deep into his neck in an effort to hide the embarrassing tears rolling out of Bucky's cheeks. 'It's over' Bucky whispered 'I'm free' he was overwhelmed with happiness.

Steve smiled trough his tears "let's go home"

They spent longer traveling to and from DC than they did in the actual court room. On the jet home everyone was buzzing, everyone had smiles on their faces. Bucky and Steve sat in the corner kissing, Steve pulled away and looked into Bucky's eyes "I've just got to talk to Tony, I'll be right back" Steve quickly jumped up then truned around "don't go anywhere I fully intend to continue when I return" Steve smiled then headed off in Tony's direction. Bucky leaned his head on the wall of the Quinjet behind him and closed his eyes. He felt someone sit down next to him; he opened his eyes and saw Bruce sitting next to him his elbows resting on his knees.

"You must be happy." Bruce said to Bucky, he sounded happy but he had this worried look on his face.

"Words can't even describe how happy I am." Bucky smiled to himself.

"That good, you deserve it." Bruce nodded "so… um how are those head aces you were telling me about?"

"What? Oh um yeah there okay" Bucky answered

"Are they gone?" Bruce asked

"Um... No" Bucky was a little confused.

"Are they every day?" Bruce asked.

Bucky frowned "I guess… what this is about?"

"Oh um…" Bruce scratched his head "I might be able to help"

Bucky got the feeling there was something Bruce wasn't telling him but Steve was heading back over towards him and he hadn't told Steve about the head aces and now was not the time to bring it up "cool, I'll pop round the lab later?"

"Sounds good, I'll see you then." Bruce got up and nodded at Steve who sat where Bruce had just been.

"What did Bruce want?" Steve said taking Bucky's hand.

"Just to say that he was happy for me" Bucky lied, and then they both leaned into one another and continued where they left off.

After some fondue back in the apartment Bucky remembered what he had told Bruce he was going to meet him.

"Why now, can't you go tomorrow?" Steve said lying topless on the bed.

"You of all people would know that rude, besides I'll only be like twenty minutes" Bucky slipped a baggy t-shirt over his bare chest then leaned over Steve and kissed him and lingered for a few seconds then left for the lab.

As expected Bruce stood in the corner tapping away at the computer screen which showed a large diagram of brain when Bruce looked up and saw Bucky he minimised the brain and smiled warily at him. Bruce gestured for Bucky to sit down in a chair then pulled up a stool next to him.

"Thank you for coming." Bruce said, Bucky nodded once "so when you were here last, you told me that you were having head aces yeah?" Bucky nodded "and your still having them?" he nodded again

"They're just had ace right?" Bucky asked

"Well that's what I've been investigating," Bruce pushed his glasses up his nose "you see I've had a read about that chair you put you in and it's my understanding that the chair itself performs something similar to electroshock therapy but this version is so much more extreme. It affects all six lobes of the brain but mostly damaging to the temporal lobe where limbic system is located."

Bucky frowned "sorry, I'm not that good a science, lobes?"

"Sorry, um… section" Bruce pulled up the diagram of the brain and turned the screen so Bucky could see the screen clearly. He pointed to each section as he names them "the frontal lobe, the temporal lobe, the occipital lobe, the insular cortex, the parietal lobe and the limbic lobe or system." Bruce looked back to Bucky who was nodding along "the damage to the parietal lobe had made it easier for hydra to control you. The parts that have sustained the most damage are the temporal lobe and the limbic system. These two areas of the brain cover visual memory and emotional memory respectively. The damage sustained here is why you didn't remember anything."

Bruce paused "what does this mean" Bucky was so confused.

"well due to the healing nature of your serum theoretically, you should make a full recovery but I don't hink that is what is happening, I've been keeping an eye on you since you got here and I thought everything was going okay and I wasn't going to worry you about this but then you said you started getting head aces and now…" Bruce was cut off.

"You need to dumb this down what does this mean." Bucky had grown tense.

"Okay…" Bruce looked up at the ceiling thinking of a way to explain that Bucky would understand "you're like a computer, when it's has an issue it tries to wire itself in order to fix the program but as it can't think for its self it usually programs wrong, it creates new programs, bad programs I think this is what your brain is doing."

"So I'm wired wrong, what does this mean for me?" Bucky said through his teeth.

"Well unless we can find a way of putting the wiring back in the right way, to put it bluntly, your brain will give up and shut down." Bruce looked gingerly at Bucky.

Before he knew what he was doing Bucky stood up looked around for something to break, a second later he turned to an empty lab table and flipped it across the room and screamed, his throat burning.

Bucky stood panting staring down at the table he's thrown, he sat calmly back down on the chair and looked at Bruce who had just ignored Bucky's outburst.

"I will not rest until I figured out how to help you, in the meantime is it okay if I bring Tony in on this discovery" Bruce said as if he hadn't just told Bucky he was dying. Bucky nodded.

"Whatever it takes, for Steve's sake." Bucky replied.

Bucky left Bruce to get started on his research. In the elevator back down to the apartment Bucky was desperately searching for word about what he had just found out, how was he going to tell Steve? When the elevator doors opened he walked into the apartment and saw Steve sitting in front of the TV screen half dressed.

"Ahh Buck, I need your help, I thought we'd have a movie night but I can't decide which film to watch, Pitch perfect or Monster ink?" Steve held up the DVD boxes.

"Monster ink." Bucky said with a sad smile.

"You utter life saver," Steve put the DVD in the player then got up and pulled Bucky to the sofa and kissed his cheek "honestly what would I do without you. You okay?"

Bucky sighed and smiled "yeah I'm fine." They both snuggled on the sofa and started the movie.

Author's notes: **AHHHHHHHH NOOOOO I'm soooo sorry, I didn't mean to do that, I'm so mean! ;) Wow I wrote that chapter on Tuesday, Pancake Day (hence the pancakes). Sorry haven't posted very often I've been revising for my exams. I really like this chapter because there's a lot of drama and who doesn't like drama? Hope you guys like this chapter too :) happy reading.**


	37. Truth Chapter 37

Bucky's P.O.V

It's been about a month since I talked to Bruce, I've made sure I have kept the same routine, I've made sure that I have acted like nothing's wrong that way Steve could not find out, I've just give Steve no reason to be suspicious. It's not like I haven't lied to him before. After Steve's mum died he moved in with me and I wasn't rich so we only had the one bed. I would lie next to him; he used to fall asleep so quickly and his breaths where whizzy and weak, there were times I thought he wasn't going to make it to the morning and I would have to lie straight to his face telling him that he'll be alright, that I would never let anything happen to him, they were promises I knew I had no right to make because I had no idea what would happen. He was always ill, I'm grateful that he's bigger and healthy but I do miss looking after him, I promised Sarah before she died that I would always be there for him. Being here now I think I've lived up to my word, sort of. People used to ask me what it was like being friends with Steve, if I found it hard to look after such a sickly child. I would simply reply _I don't see Steve as sickly; he's the strongest man I've ever met._

I look across at Steve; he looks so innocent when he's asleep. He's curled up close to my side taking deep even breaths. It's so good to listen to his healthy breathing. I spent so long listening to the wheezy, uneven breathing that at first it was weird hearing he breath so independently but I've grown so used to the beautiful sleeping huffs of air, every time he breaths out I swear he could start a hurricane, maybe that's how he felt when he was small and he would listen to my breathing.

I know that Steve has a right to know but I know he would get worried and _very_ protective. I knew Steve would tightly wrap me up in bubble wrapping but for all I know Bruce will find a cure then there will be no need to even tell Steve.

It's so unfair on Steve, he's already lost me once who knows what will happen if it happens a second time. We've spent so much time apart and under the belief that we would never see each other again but to be fair most the time I didn't even know who he was but there always has been this strange pull like we had been destined to be together. I've never been a true believer of soul mates; I don't like to think that it was my destiny to fall in love with Steve because that would mean I'd have to believe that falling into the hands of Hydra was also my destiny.

The first few years with Hydra were so hard, I don't remember much just that there was a lot of pain they hadn't quite perfected the 'wipes' so within a day or so I would start to remember things then something would snap and everything would come flooding back all at one, all the memories and all my feelings. The pain was immense and I wished every day that it would just stop so. It looked like the only escape was death, I wanted to die so badly but now I've got Steve and I'm now a full time Avenger, I have a purpose again, a reason to live.

I don't want to die.

Bruce told me that it was probably best if we bring Steve into the loop about the whole thing but I can't stop imagining Steve's face when he finally gets it, that click when he finally understands that I'm dying. What would he do? Would he be angry? Like me, would he flip a table or smash something or would he just cry?

Words can even begin to describe how much I love and care for Steve.

I look at the clock hanging on the wall across the room it's about seven in the morning and I told Bruce that I'll let him take some blood samples and scans some medical shit I can't keep up with but if it helps I'll do it. I gingerly take my arm out of Steve's tight grip, which causes him to whimper a little, I brush my hand over his cheek and his face softens again then I head out the room. The apartment is quit and dark; when I first arrived here with Steve I didn't like the apartment because it didn't feel right but now its home.

Steve's P.O.V

Light is streaming in through the window, I reach my arm across the bed only to find cold air, Bucky's gone again, he must have gotten up, he hasn't been sleeping very peacefully recently, bad dreams. I understand that, I still dream about flying into the ice and the war, I'm still scared so Bucky must be twice as scared as me, I don't think he likes people seeing him scared, who would? He's probably spent years hiding his fears from hydra.

I spend a few more lingering moments just lying in bed before jumping up and dropping down to the floor and start counting each press-up, sit-up, and pull-up. Before Bucky moved in I used to have so much energy in the mornings I would wake up and be buzzing, I go running at the crack of dawn and run until the sun was fully up then go to work at S.H.I.E.L.D. even after that I would still have so much energy. I still have that energy but I would rather stay curled up next to Bucky then leave his side to run.

He can be an incredibly bad influence sometimes.

I have a patrol scheduled later but there is no immediate need to change my outfit just yet so I move into the apartment wearing sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt. I walk straight into the kitchen and start to prepare breakfast for Bucky for when he gets back.

"JARVIS do you know where Bucky's gone and how long he'll be" I asked to the ceiling, I still find I odd talking to someone but not being able to see them it is such a weird concept.

"sergeant Barnes is with Dr Banner, he's in the middle of a PET scan at the moment, sir, so he will be another ten minutes before arrives back to the apartment." JARVIS' British voice said softly into the apartment.

I frown in confusion "why's he having PET scan?" over my time in modern day I have tried to learn new things but a lot of today technology still confuses me but I know what a PET scan is for.

"It appears that Sargent Barnes is having some issues with his health." JARVIS said simply.

I can feel my heart rate increase "what kind of issues?"

The elevator doors slide open and Bucky wonders into the quiet apartment, Bruce had done all the checks and tests that he required and had gathered all the data he needed to work. Tony had been there but he kept to himself, he was looking at an exploded view of a brain for the entire time Bucky was there.

Bucky walked through the apartment when he caught sight of Steve sitting in the kitchen at the head of the dinner table, Bucky turned straight towards the kitchen "morning" Bucky kissed the top of Steve's head then went over the fridge "have you had breakfast?" Steve didn't answer, "I'm starving. What do you fancy? I will try and make any thing you want." Bucky smiled but Steve still didn't say anything he just sat with his arms crossed looking straight at Bucky. "Are you okay Steve? You look a little…"

"When were you going to tell me?" Steve said solemnly

Bucky's smile vanished "tell you what?"

"I don't know maybe the fact that you're dyeing?" Steve shook his head a little.

Bucky gasped a little "how did you find out?"

"No I asked a question first, when were you going to tell me" Bucky scratched his head, Steve gave a short sigh "where you even going to tell me?"

"I was, of course I was" Bucky answered, he took a step closer to Steve then continued "it's just we've been working so hard on trying to fix, Bruce and Tony-"

Steve let out a small angry huff "Tony knew" Steve shook his head in disbelief "when did they find out?"

"they only know because they can help, they have been working so hard ever since we got back from court-" Steve interrupted Bucky

"Wait do you mean when they pardoned you" Bucky nodded "that's when you found out?" Bucky nodded again, Steve stood up "Bucky that was a month ago!" Steve raised his voice.

"I was trying to keep you happy-"

"And you think keeping me in the dark was the best idea-"

"I thought I was doing the right thing-"

"Your always doing this do you ever stop and think that maybe I can actually take care of myself now? I'm bigger and healthier, and I don't need you to decide what I can and can't handle"

"I was protecting you and I just-"

"By lying to me"

"God damn it, Steve! You never listen! You never fucking listen" "your always do this Buck, I can take care of myself" "NO YOU CAN'T" "I HAD A RIGHT TO KNOW" "I WAS PROTECTING YOU"

"YOUR NOT VERY GOOD AT IT ARE YOU" steve's eyes widened a little when he said that.

The two men were so caught up in their argument that they didn't even realise that their faces were centimetres away from each other. For a moment they looked at each other both breathing angrily, Bucky took a step back and looked Steve dead in the eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Bucky said in a small hurt voice.

"I didn't mean it" Steve replied quickly.

"No seriously what do you mean by that?" Bucky asked hurt spreading across his face.

Steve looked at the ground "well… in the past every time you've tried to protect me it hasn't ended well, when you took me in after mum died, we didn't have enough money and I know our landlord almost kicked us out more than once, when we were on Dr Zola's train you picked up my shield and you got thrown off the train and I lost you for 70 years, and now you haven't told me this and it hurts like hell."

Bucky took a very long deep breath "Your right you did deserve to know but I didn't want to see you get hurt because that would hurt me." Bucky ran his hands through his hair "I'm sorry that was incredibly selfish of me" Bucky turned back to look at Steve saying "in my defence, I did try and tell you but I couldn't find the words, every time I opened my mouth, I would look into you eyes and-" Steve looked up at Bucky and he gave a sad smile as he lost himself in Steve's deep blue eyes.

Steve closed the space between them and pulled Bucky into the tightest hug, the embrace lasted forever nether wanted to break apart.

Steve was crying silent tears "Darn it, Banner better find a cure!"

Authors note's: **sorry it's been soooo long since I last posted, I actually wrote 2 chapters and I couldn't decided which to post, I chose this one because I've never done 1** **st** **person before and I thought it might be a nice little insight to the character, tell me if you don't like it because then I wont do it again, I just thought I'd give it a go. Why no? if you were confused it was Bucky's point of view first then Steve's after the fist *** the it went back to normal after the second *** if your still confused just let me know. Thank you for still loving my story and still reviewing. Thank you :) *** **hugs** *****


	38. Cold Feet? Chapter 38

Steve marched firmly into the living room, in front of the sofa that Bucky was sloughed on, Steve was doing a good job of not mentioning how weak Bucky had been getting over the last few weeks but he looked down at Bucky now and really saw how much strength he'd lost. After a brief hesitation, Steve pushed on.

"We've been putting this off for too long." Steve said while standing firmly on two feet.

With shaky arms Bucky pushed his body up into sitting position "what is it?" Bucky managed to smile not sensing Steve's serious manner.

Steve took a deep breath "I don't think we should go through with the wedding?"

This took Bucky by surprise, with as much energy he could muster, he heaved himself to his feet "what?! Why wouldn't we go through with it? Do you not want to marry me? Did I do something wrong? Is it because I'm sick?" Bucky became frantic and was breathing faster.

Steve took Bucky's face and watched as Bucky relaxed into his hands "Calm down, that's not what I'm saying, I'm just… worried is all. I'm scared that going through a wedding at this moment might be a little too much for you right now." Steve dropped his hands and grabbed Bucky's that were by his side.

"Steve" Bucky squeezed Steve's hands and continues "It's clear to see I'm not in the fittest state right now but there is nothing I'd rather do than marry you. Do I wish I was better and that I wasn't dying? Hell yeah! Do I wish that Bruce will find a cure? Absolutely, just wish he would hurry up with it. But more than anything I want to marry you, no matter how ill I become _if_ Bruce doesn't' find a cure I want to make sure I leave this world married to you. I won't ask for much but I'm asking for this." Bucky and Steve were very still, just staring into each others eyes, wishing for more time together.

Steve didn't know what to say his first thought was just to kiss Bucky, so he did and he never wanted to stop kissing him.

Ever

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Steve whispered into Bucky's ear.

"I honestly thought you'd changed your mind." Bucky hugged Steve tightly "I'm so glad you haven't"

A few days passed without much change, Steve and Bucky had talked to Pepper about the wedding, Pepper was to plan the whole thing but was under strict instructions to keep the ceremony as small as she possibly could, no camera men and preferably indoors so no helicopters could interrupt their vows. Everyone had been given his or her jobs for the wedding.

Tony was to be Bucky's best man and Sam was Steve's. During a meeting Steve and Bucky were having with Pepper about the wedding Natasha rushed in the room calming she had an awesome idea.

"Okay I have an awesome idea" Natasha said walking in without knocking first; they were in one of the conference rooms. "I'm going to tell you but if you think it's stupid you can tell me to shut up and get out but if you like it then-"

Bucky interrupted her "lord above Nat, just spit it out."

Natasha took a deep breath "let me officiate your wedding" Nat took one look at the men's faces and spoke before they did "wait hear me out, it's an easy proses I can go online and get ordained and I can totally marry you guy. I'm only suggesting because well I have shipped you two from the start and I honestly would love to be part of your special day, I mean wouldn't you prefer someone who really knows you rather than someone who just knows the couple they've been told about on the TV? What do you think?" Natasha stopped speaking and there was a short silence.

So by the end of a long meeting a triumphant Natasha waltzed out of the conference room with her chin up high proudly walking towards the elevator, she was going to go and get ordained on the internet.

Bucky walked out the room supported by Steve, both still trying to get their head around what they just agreed to, when Bucky stopped and turned to Steve "you go ahead back to apartment, there's something I want to talk to Pepper about."

A flash of worry spread across Steve's face before he could say anything however, Bucky pulled Steve down into a weak but passionate kiss and whispered that he would be fine. Steve reluctantly withdrew to the elevator and watched Bucky until the doors closed blocking his view. When Steve could no longer see, Bucky half collapsed against the wall and took quick deep breath. When Pepper finally came out the conference room, Bucky snapped back up and began to act healthy once more.

"Pepper." Bucky said as strongly as he could.

"Bucky?! Sorry, I thought you'd left, can I help you with something?" Pepper said politely

"As a matter of fact, yes. I was wondering if you could do something for me?" Bucky shifted his weight from both feet as he spoke.

"I'd be happy to help you with anything you require." Pepper replied graciously.

Bucky looked down at his hands and started playing with his fingers nervously "I need you to promise you won't tell anyone, that includes Tony, JARVIS and definitely Steve."

"I promise I won't tell a soul, I don't tell Tony everything you know." Pepper smiled kindly.

Bucky looked up "thank you." Then went back to looking down at his hands.

"So, might I know what I'm being asked to do?" Pepper questioned.

"Well, I don't want to worry Steve but I'm scared that Bruce won't find a cure and I need to make sure that if things don't go as well as we all hope that I'll have some sort of will to leave behind for Steve" Bucky smiled shyly and shrugged one shoulder. " I want it to be a secret because Steve would flip if he thought I had any doubts."

Pepper nodded "Of course I draw one up" she smiled at Bucky as if she was looking at a kicked puppy and Bucky could see it in her eyes and he thought it was his time to make his departure back to Steve.

"Thank you" Bucky said stepping away. Pepper nodded and walked with Bucky to the elevator in silence.

That night Steve was asleep dreaming.

A classic 40s jazz tune was playing faintly in the background, Steve could feel a hand on his shoulder and Steve would never forget that genital touch of Peggy's hand.

Steve lifted his hand up to his shoulder and felt his fingers lightly stroke Peggy's; he curled and interlocked his fingers with hers. He swung her around so that they were face to face. Steve had his right hand on Peggy's waist and hers was on his right shoulder. They were slowly moving around, dancing in small circles.

"Makes sure you don't step on my toes Steve." Peggy's British voice spoke softly.

In a strange way Steve felt guilty and felt a ping of grief but he didn't know why.

"It's time to let go Steve" she spoke again.

Steve jolted up shaking the dream from his head and looked around the room, like so many times before he was alone. "Bucky?" Steve called out but there was no reply. He flicked the covers off of his legs and hopped out of bed and moved into the main room of the apartment. "Bucky?" Steve called out again, still no reply.

Steve walked further into the room when something shiny caught his eye. Steve immediately began to panic when he saw Bucky passed out on the floor. Steve rushed to Bucky's side and checked Bucky's breathing.

"JARVIS get Tony or Bruce or anyone!" Steve said frantically.

"I've alerted Mr Stark and Miss Romanoff. They are on their way as we speak." JARVIS said, even though JARVIS is a computer simulation he almost sounded as panicked as Steve was.

After a few minuets that felt like hours Bucky had still not awoken then Natasha was the first to arrive, she dashed too Steve's side "we need to get him to Tony's lab now! Can you carry him?" Natasha said insistently.

Steve didn't even answer her he just pushed his hands underneath Bucky's back and lifted him into a fireman's lift and began jogging to the elevator. While waiting for the lift to whizz down to Tony's level Steve couldn't stand still he was feeling nerves and completely terrified. Finally, the doors opened up and Tony was already waiting with what looked like a hospital bed with the wheels. Steve gingerly lay Bucky down and he was immediately whisked away from Steve's presence.

Steve stood watching them take Bucky away, they moved him into another room and shut the doors, when Steve could no longer see Bucky he crashed to the floor and began sobbing uncontrollably. Steve had never felt so scared, this was worse than knowing that he was about to crash the plain into that ice. He looked up at Natasha who quickly turned her back and wiped the tears from her face. Steve doesn't remember _ever_ seeing Natasha cry.

It was dead silent for hours until the door to the room they taken Bucky into opened and several people flooded out Bucky, however, not among them. Coulson entered the room wearing his usual black suit, the girl, Skye was standing just behind him and there were two new people. A male with brown curly hair and a female with brown hair pulled into a neat ponytail both were wearing lab coats. Steve stood egger "please tell me something, bad news is better then no news."

"Captain this is my team, Jemma Simmons and Leo Fitz, we were originally here just to help with finding a cure but things have escalated. Fortunately, Mr Barnes is awake and he's been asking for you." Coulson pointed to the door. Steve had already started moving for the door before Coulson had even finished speaking.

Steve scanned the room for Bucky and as soon and he met the deep ocean blue eyes of his fiancé a weight lifted in Steve's stomach. Steve was holding Bucky's hands in a flash and was kissing every part of Bucky's face muttering how much he loved him.

"I could do _this_ all day," Bucky said jokingly.

After about half an hour Steve had calmed down and Bucky had drifted into a light sleep. Steve became increasingly aware of the crowed that had formed in the room and all he could hear was the steady beating of the heart monitor then Coulson looked towards the brown haired lady "Jemma do you wish to explain our conclusion?"

She gave a small caught and spoke in a calm British voice "you've already been told that Mr Barnes' problem is with his brain and the damage caused by that chair they used to brain wash him. It's my belief that when the brain gets damaged after time it begins to heal it's self but when damaged to this extent the normal victim would not survive however, Mr Barnes has a sample of the Captains serum and it has kept him alive thus far but unfortunately the healing factor has repaired his system wrong. I think this was due to how Hydra set up the chair, so this might not be what you want to hear but my suggestion on how to make him better is to recreate something similar to the chair, reprogram it and wipe him again." Bucky flinched at the word Wipe

"WHAT?" Steve stood in a defensive position in front of Bucky's bed and Natasha was at his side protecting Bucky "Are you crazy? We're not wiping him again."

"Steve calm down, let us explain-" Tony stepped closer to Bucky.

Natasha interrupted him "Back up Stark, you know full well what that chair did to Bucky in the first place and now you want to put him back in it?" Natasha grimaced "you're insane!"

Tony frowned "can you just let us explain?"

"So you can lie to us?" Steve shot back

A weak but stern voice spoke from behind "Steve let them explain before we jump to conclusions," Bucky said, Steve walked to Bucky's side and took his hand in his own "I know Tony would never intentionally hurt me or any of us. Hydra would never have explained least of all let me decide whether that's what I wanted to do. We should listen."

Defeated Steve pulled up a chair by the bed and sat down. Tony leaned against the wall and began to explain. He told them that the chair they would make would correct the problems with the brain but if they do it correctly he might not lose his memories it.

"What are the chances it won't work?" Natasha said still in her defensive position.

Tony sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes tightly "it's hard to tell at this point but currently it's 50/50"

There was a pause and everyone was trapped in thought.

Bucky broke the silence "let's do it" everyone looked at Bucky surprised "why not? I'm dying anyway if it doesn't work then we would have just sped up my immanent fate but if it works then… brilliant."

Steve frowned and looked into Bucky's eyes once more "but what if it fixes you and you lose all your memories again?"

"I think that's the least of our problems," Bucky said bluntly "you can always tell me everything again, you've done it before and I'm sure you can do it when it comes to it."

Steve tore his eyes away from Bucky's to hide how hurt he was but when he felt the tears welling up in his eyes, he had to say something "can we have a moment please?" a few people nodded but no one really moved "alone" Steve said bleakly.

As everyone started to head for the door The girl Skye spoke up "Wow that was dramatic?"

"Skye" Coulson gave her a warning look.

Natasha didn't move "It's okay Nat I just want to speak to Bucky." She nodded and followed the others. Bucky watched Natasha go for a long as possible because he didn't want to look into Steve's eyes.

It was silent Bucky finally looked at Steve because it was so quiet that he thought Steve had left with the others and that he was alone but he was wrong Steve was still sitting it the seat staring.

"What your problem?" Bucky said a little harsher than he meant it to be.

"You. You're my problem. You're so calm about it all, willing to risk it all just like that. You didn't even think twice about saying yes to Tony's idea, or even take the time to either try and find another less risky way or just think about what your getting himself into. You didn't even discus it with me"

"It's not your problem, it's mine and I trust Tony he's not going to hurt me, never has never will." Bucky raised his voice a little and sat up a bit more.

Steve leaned forward in his chair "it became my problem when you said you'd marry me! We're in this 'till the end of the line."

"Yeah well looks like the end of the line is almost here." Bucky said, Steve took in a short gasp and hurt flooded across his face. Bucky immediately regretted mentioning it.

Steve stood up and moved towards the door but stopped turned around "if that's how you feel, then… you can do this by yourself, you obviously don't need or want my opinion, so I'll save my breath." Steve turned away to the door and left.

Bucky called out to Steve "Steve wait" but it was too late Steve had gone and Bucky was alone "I need you" he muttered to himself.

Author's notes: **Don't worry guys I'm back. I am soooooooooooo sorry for not posing in like a whole month. It's just been chaos. I went on holiday and when I got back I realised I hadn't written anything then I had exams but now I'm listing excuses. My apologies. To make up for my absence I have written a nice long chapter for you lot to hopefully enjoy. Yet another cliffhanger dunn dunn duuuuunnnn! Under 17 days until Captain America civil war comes out in the UK I am soooo excited I have tickets to go and see the first midnight showing but I promise not a spoil anything because it doesn't come out until may 6** **th** **in America right? Anyway sorry for the late update. Enjoy xx :)**


	39. Journey Chapter 39

**Quick note there is absolutely no civil war spoiler in this chapter. I promise ;)**

Steve wanted to be alone; he knew that if he went to his usual sad spot under the bed then he would only get two hours tops until he was found. To really be alone Steve needed to leave stark tower.

He ran with no real destination as to where he was going he just kept the rhythm of his feet moving. Steve ran while he thought about everything and nothing at all. He was confused and angry. He was angry at Bucky for what he said but the same time he knew he had been too harsh on Bucky at the end of the day he is dying. This was more confusing than waking up and realising you'd overslept a couple of decades.

Steve kept running.

Bucky was sitting up in his hospital bed, in starks lab, thinking. After years with Hydra, Bucky had learnt how to hide his emotions, so when the door finally shut and Bucky was alone for the first time since Steve had left. He looked about the empty room his eyes jumping around until they landed on the chair Steve had been sitting on.

Bucky raised a hand to cover his mouth to muffle the sound of his sob. Tears streamed down his face.

Showing emotions meant pain, when an officer or and engineer thought they saw any hint of human within the winter soldier's eyes they would either punish it out off him or wipe him completely. He learnt that emotions were bed.

It was so calm. Steve slowed down a little into a steady jog, he looked around at his surrounding and realised where he had run. He buried his hands in his pockets as he took in his surroundings, he always loved watching the sunrise in Washington DC.

Wait Washington? That's like 4 hours away from New York and that's by car, how long was he running for? A little bit of panic flooded through his mind what was he going to do? He had to get back to Bucky.

The door opened and Bucky snapped his head too look "Steve?" Bucky said hopefully but when he realised it was Natasha the hope was replaced by disappointment he looked away from Natasha and wiped the tears away.

"Sorry," Natasha said as she sat down on the chair next to the bed placing her phone and keys on the bedside table. Bucky was still in Tony's lab and still connected to the hart monitor.

"Did you look in our apartment?" Bucky asked, Natasha nodded "under the bed?" she nodded again "did you look in the gym?"

"I've practically looked over the whole of new york and Brooklyn." Natasha said, Bucky sighed "maybe we should wait for him to come back to us, if Steve doesn't want to be found then he wont be, when he puts his mind to it he can be quite good at hiding. Except if he's trying to hide memories sticks I mean putting it in a vending machine is not a good idea." Natasha spoke softly to herself.

"Vending machine?" Bucky frowned as he zoned back into the conversation.

"Long story" Natasha chuckled a little. Suddenly there was a shudder on stark tower moments later Tony popped his head through the door asking for Natasha's assistance. "Stay put Barnes." Bucky nodded glumly he really wanted to help.

Bucky tried listening to see if he could hear what was going on but it was silent he almost jumped as the room filled with the sound of Natasha's phone vibrating against her keys. Bucky picked up the phone and gasped when he saw Steve's name. He was calling Natasha. Bucky clicked the answer button.

"Steve?" Bucky said into the phone

" _Bucky? Is that you? I'm so sorry, I love you and your not alone I didn't mean to say those things I was just worried and angry a very bad mix when it comes to you I can't risk anything with you. I've lost you too many times in the past I am not going to do it again."_ Steve's spoke quickly.

"Whoa Steve slow down, I love you too and don't…" there was noises of traffic coming from Steve's end of the phone "where _are_ you?"

" _Well_ " Steve paused " _believe it or not I'm in… Washington. Its funny, I actually ran here, after our… disagreement I left Stark tower and ran I must have instinctively just run here, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again. Where's Natasha anyway?"_

"Something happened and she went off with Tony." Bucky said into the phone "I'll come and get you"

" _How I thought you were hospitalised"_ Steve asked concerned

"I'll figure something out" Bucky replied trying to reassure

" _Just promise me you won't drive it's not worth the risk, get someone else to do it"_ Steve's concerned voice said through the phone.

"Fine, I promise." Bucky moaned.

" _Thank you."_ Steve said. " _I really do love you_ "

"I know and I love you too," Bucky hung up. Natasha had told him not to move but this was Steve so he swung his feet off the bed and took the clip off his finger, which was a bad move because the hart monitor started screaming with red alert flashing over the screen.

When Sam Wilson entered the room to see what was happening he saw Bucky tug the wires out the computer screen and it went quiet.

"What's happening?" Sam asked panicked but when he saw that Bucky was okay he exhaled "jeez man I thought you were dyeing I was preparing myself for CPR!"

"Is that the one where it's mouth to mouth?" Bucky frowned.

"Yeah but it's weird when you say it like that… what I'm saying is that I was prepared to help but…" Sam shrugged

"Thanks but the only one I'm kissing is Steve." Bucky said putting his shoes on.

"I'm not… it's not…" Sam sighed, "Never mind. Where you going?"

"Can you drive?" Bucky asked getting to his feet.

"Yeah, why?"

"Can you drive me to Washington DC?"

"Why?" Sam asked surprised

Bucky rolled his eyes "Can I explain on the way?"

Sam narrowed his eyes and thought _what would Steve do?_ Sam took his car keys out of his pocket "we'll have to drive but let's go" Bucky grabbed his jumper and shoved the phone in his pocket.

They went down to the garage Bucky explained why they were going to DC. About an hour into the journey neither man had spoken a syllable, Sam finally broke the uncomfortable silence. "Look I now it is none of my business but I've been thinking about the whole evil wipe chair thing and I think it's a bad idea"

Bucky was silent he just stared out the window.

Sam waited for Bucky to reply but he didn't, "I just feel that there are still things we haven't tried and we shouldn't rush into the first option when we haven't explored the others."

Bucky looked at Sam but didn't say anything he sighed and looked down at his hands.

"I don't know it's none of my business I just feel your rushing into things." Sam said shrugging and turning his head back to the road.

"You know, your right." Bucky said as he looked back out his window "it is none of your business."

"Come on man," Sam whined "I'm just trying to help, you know ever since you came here with Steve I've tried to connect with you but you've always given me the cold shoulder. I've always put up with it because of you and Steve's relationship but I'm sick of it. What is your problem?" Sam said in demanding voice. It went silent; Bucky looked at Sam in shock then burst out laughing. "Wh-what? Sam said anxiously.

Bucky pulled himself together "I have a tendency to judge people, when I saw you fighting against me on the helicarriers my brain tagged you as a target and I've never been able to separate you from that tag because of that I've given no effort to get to know you."

Sam thought about if for a minuet and finally nodded, "I can understand that it's hard to get ride of a habit. One thing that I'm still confused on however, is why did you laugh?"

Bucky chuckled "it's probably not that funny but you said I gave you the cold shoulder and… I have a metal arm." Bucky shook his head then the two men laughed together and bonded for the rest of the journey getting to know each other and found that they have the possibility of being really good friends.

Finally, they arrived at Washington and it was raining heavily. Steve was waiting outside the Smithsonian because of the rain Steve didn't see the car pull up. Bucky unclipped his seatbelt and jumped out the car into the rain. He lightly jogged over to Steve and put his metal hand on Steve's shoulder. At first Steve was a little taken aback at the sudden contact but when he saw Bucky's deep blue eyes he pulled Him close straight into a passionate kiss in the rain.

They didn't break apart for a while, Steve kiss Bucky hungrily while running a hand through Bucky's damp hair. Bucky hugged Steve's hips tighter to his body one hand traced the curves on Steve's back. Sam honked the car, which bought the couple of super soldiers back to earth. They smiled at each other and ran back to the car. Bucky held the back seat door open for Steve to pile in, then Bucky scooted in next to him. They sat so close together they were basically sitting on top of each other.

The way back to New York was much quicker than the way down, Steve and Bucky mostly kissed and Sam made awkward conversation. Bucky and Steve played with each other's fingers like they were touching for the first time again.

When they pulled into the garage underneath Stark tower they got out the car. Steve and Bucky walked hand in hand towards the elevator with Sam tagging along behind. When the doors opened they walked into Tony's lab.

The first thing Bucky saw was Natasha striding towards him and she looked angry, when she was close enough she slapped Bucky around the face.

"I told you to stay put and as soon as I leave you disappear with my phone!" Nat shouted she held out her hand and Bucky unaffected by her slap placed the phone in her hand and she stuffed it into her pocket.

She stepped towards Steve and slapped him "Steve you can just run off like that you had us all worried!"

She turned to Sam "I expected more from you Sam" she said sternly, Sam relaxed a little he though he was going to get slapped but when he sighed Natasha slapped him when he wasn't expecting it.

Natasha turned to all three and was about to shout something else when Clint came up behind her "honey I think that's enough, given that we have guests." Clint whispered in Nat's ear.

Steve looked over Nat and Clint and saw the familiar face of the God who destroyed New York, Loki. He was standing next to Thor. No wonder Nat was on edgy, they didn't exactly hit it off last time he was here.

"What's he doing here?" Steve asked apprehensively.

"I have no clue but I wish he was anywhere but here." Natasha spouted angrily

Tony stepped forward "he has an idea about helping Bucky, he thinks-"

"We shouldn't listen to him" Natasha interrupted, Tony stepped back and leaned against a table "were you too busy flying around in your metal can to notice that he destroyed New york by setting hundreds of nasty aliens on us?" Nat shouted loudly.

Before Tony could shout back Loki spoke up "Might I just chip in" Loki went to step forward but stopped when he saw Natasha looking at him he stopped "even though I don't care about any of you mortals, I am trying to prove that I have changed so my brother trusts me again."

"We'll never trust you" Natasha said addressing Loki.

"Well then it's a good think I'm not seeking _your_ trust isn't it ginger head " Loki snapped back. Natasha started to move but Clint still had quite a grip on her shoulders that she barely moved an inch.

"Who you calling ginger head?" she shouted.

"I don't know maybe the only ginger in the room, pathetic women." Loki smugly said back.

"Okay okay," Clint's calm voice filled the room "let's all calm down shall we." Clint looked to Thor.

Thor stepped forward "I think we should at least hear him out. You never know he might actually be able to help this autumn soldier."

"Firstly, it's winter soldier" Bucky said speaking for the first time.

Thor laughed at himself "silly me, human seasons still confuse me"

Bucky carried on as if Thor hadn't spoken "secondly, how can this guy help me"

"Good question Bucky the answer is he can't and he should go back to his fancy cell in his fancy palace in fancy Asgard!" Natasha shouted once more.

"Cut it out Nat" Clint said quietly to Nat.

Loki cleared his throat and began to explain his plan to heal Bucky by using remedies that he had heard off on his travels around the galaxy to find a home before he found the Chitauri and attacked New York. He explained in grate detail. Loki could heal Bucky and it would work and he wouldn't loose any memories but could they really trust Loki?

Once Loki had finished his tail, Tony sceptically spoke up "shall we put it to a vote?"

Authors Notes: **so I waited to post until after civil war because I had so many feel I mentally couldn't write about Stucky without thinking about civil war and getting distracted. So I finally got this chapter up hope you guys liked it. Do you trust Loki? Or so you think it's a trick?**

 **I'll start working on the next chapter as soon as I can but I'm about to start my real exams so I may be a little distracted but I think I'm going to use writing as a relaxing method, so that working in your favour I guess ;) see you all at the next chapter.**


	40. The vote Chapter 40

They had all agreed, apart from Natasha, that they needed time to thing Loki's offer through before casting their votes this lead to a lot of disagreements as to where Loki should be allowed to stay for the night. After a longer discussion than it needed to be they finally agreed to put him in on of the room on Thor's level and lock the door and take turns in keeping watch through the night.

Once Loki was placed into the secure room Clint took first watch. Bucky walked into the elevator with Steve. When the doors closed and it went silent Bucky frowned "why does everyone hate Loki again? I forgot."

"He was the one behind the battle of New York, he also killed our friend Phil who as it turns out is actually alive…" Steve chuckled at Bucky's confused face "…it's a long story."

Bucky remembered, he's been on a 3 day mission in the depths of the Scottish highlands, of all places, when the whole battle took place he only learned about what happened when he was having a routine check back at the hydra base and two of the technicians were having a little conversation about it.

" _I was there I saw him!" a male technician said happily._

 _Another female technician looked up from her clipboard "really? You saw the hulk? I though he was a rumour"_

" _Na Jenna he was real! All green and angry" he said with true excitement._

 _The technician, Jenna, sighed, "What we could do with a hulk of our own, Hydra would be unstoppable."_

 _The male technician shook his head "what we need is another assets like Winter, someone who fights in a similar style and doesn't need to much training."_

 _Jenna laughed "Frank, there is no way were getting Captain America to work for Hydra." They both laughed._

 _Up until that moment Winter had been still the technicians almost forgot he was there but at the mention of Captain America winter looked up and frowned he knew that name from somewhere._

" _Jenna, take note: Asset showed sigh of recognition of the mention of the enemy and in brackets write weakness" Frank didn't take is eye's off Winter as Jenna scribbled words down on her clip board, Winter mentally kicked himself for showing signs of frailty._

Bucky flopped on the sofa, Tony had said it was okay for Bucky to go back to Normal and didn't need to stay in hospital any longer which meant he had to take a shift at watching Loki. Unfortunately for him his shift started at 3 am and Bucky was shattered. It wasn't long before he was being shaken awake by Steve, telling him to shift his ass.

Wiping the sleep from his eye's he heavily strolled up to Thor's level, Tony was sitting on a chair opposite the door Loki was in. He snapped his head up and saw Bucky come out the elevator, Bucky had been around long enough to recognise that Tony had just been fast asleep.

"Sleeping on the job, stark?" Bucky jested

"W-what…?" Tony said innocently not entirely awake.

Bucky rolled his eyes "go get some sleep, it's my shift."

Tony went to put his hand on Bucky's shoulder and missed hitting his elbow instead "night night, pepper" he leaned in and kissed Bucky's cheek. He stood frozen until Tony stumbled away to the elevator. With his real hand, Bucky wiped his cheek where Tony had kissed him and took a seat on the chair opposite the door.

After about two hours Bucky got up from the chair took the door key and walked to the door. Gingerly he unlocked the door, he knew he shouldn't talk to Loki but he couldn't resist hearing what the so-called God had to say. The room was just like his and Steve's. Loki was sitting on the end of the bed, back straight and his hands tied up in front of him.

Bucky walked in, shutting the door behind him, he walked across the room to an armchair that sat in the corner. He didn't say anything he just looked at Loki.

Loki held up his tied up hands "Are these really necessary?"

A small smile spread cross Bucky's face "you may have fooled the others but I'm guessing that you can get out of those restraints any time you want."

Loki stood and easily broke his hands apart as if he was cutting butter, "you are observant Midgardian, I'm almost impressed. Why are you here?"

"Clearly, your _not_ an observant Asgardian or you know" Bucky said mirroring Loki's manner. "Well I was wondering why everyone hates you but I've just realised it's because you're an-"

"An attractive god that everyone wishes they were?" Loki interrupted.

Bucky let out a chuckle sigh "you know Natasha told me about you."

"And I bet she painted me in the best of lights." Loki said sitting back down on the bed "what did that women say?"

Bucky leaned back in her chair comfortably and looked at his metal arm "she said, you were a self centred evil spoiled brat that uses other peoples weaknesses to get what he wants and we should never trust you because you spins the truth."

Loki rolled his eyes "she says all the nicest things but I'm not manipulating you to get what I want, if that's what you think that's what I'm trying to do. I'm just trying to show my brother I have changed and if that means healing you then I'll do it." Loki seemed genuine about helping. "You understand?" Bucky frowned so Loki continued, "you and Steve are close like brothers right?" Bucky nodded "well growing up me and Thor were close, we used to fight together he had my back and I had his, we'd protect each other on the battle field and off. Everything changed so quickly I grew jealous of the bond Thor had with father and how he was allowed to get the thrown but everything was so much worse when I found out I was adopted." Sadness flooded Loki's face "I was angry at Thor because I realised we weren't really brothers and our childhood felt like lies, I became cold and tried to kill him which now I think of it, probably was not the best thing to do, now I'm trying to make up for things."

"Well that's something we've got in common" Bucky spoke up

"You are adopted?"

Bucky laughed, "no no, well I don't think so, I tried to kill Steve, though at the time I didn't know who he was."

There was a long pause "do you trust me?" Loki asked

'The rest of the team are telling me not to" Bucky said thinking about what Nat had said earlier.

"That's not what I asked." Loki locked eyes with Bucky "do _you_ trust me"

Bucky thought about it for a moment, he'd only heard about what Loki had done and never been whiteness to what he used to be like but the Loki who's talking right now seem trustworthy. "Yes, I think I do"

"Thank you." Loki smiled kindly.

The door opened and Natasha popped her head in and gave Bucky an evil scowl completely ignoring Loki's presence. Bucky got up from his chair giving Loki a small nod as he left with Natasha. When the door shut and Bucky locked it behind him he turned around to find a very angry Nat still glaring at him.

"What the shit Barnes? Why the hell where you talking to him?" Nat said angrily

"What? I can't even talk to him, he could possible be the one to save my life and I'm not even allowed to hear what he has to say?" Bucky questioned.

"He could manipulate you. Have you not even listened to us?" Nat spat back

"There are two sides to this story Nat, you've told me yours and I needed to hear his. This is such a big decision and you haven't even bothered to understand his angle on this. I was curious to find out, that if he manipulates people to get what he wants what is it he wants from this situation? What could he possibly want from saving my life?" Bucky shook his head "I didn't think you of all people would be so obtuse about this Natasha not with your background." Bucky turned away and marched to the elevator without a word.

Bucky felt bad what he said to Natasha but she was being very childish about the whole thing, time was passing by and the vote was getting closer, Bucky had to make a decision. Fast.

The vote was taking place in the in the social room. Everyone sat on the sofas, which were arraigned in a circle, except Loki he sat on a single chair. Bucky couldn't but help think that it was like Loki was on trial.

"Can I just say something before we vote" Bucky spoke first, the majority of the group nodded for him to continue "look I've heard about what Loki has done but I just don't see what he has to gain from this, other than getting his brother back." Thor looked at Loki who replied with a small shy smile. "I'm gonna vote that we trust him because I'd rather be treated by this man than get back into that chair like Tony suggested."

"Sorry Buck I disagree" Sam said, he was sitting in-between Natasha and Bruce, everybody looked at him "I barely know the Guy either but I saw what he did to new york and I'm voting no because I believe someone who could do that much damage, doesn't change."

Bruce chipped in "not if you believe what your doing is right, coming from a man who knows a lot about change, I do believe it can happen. Yes, if he can help Bucky then I vote yes."

"He's my brother." Thor said loudly.

There was a pause as people waited for Thor to vote, "so what's your vote big guy?" Tony asked what everyone else was thinking.

"I don't feel I should vote, I'm too emotionally involved and he's only doing this because he wants my trust he'll only get it once Bucky is well" Thor smiled at his brother.

Bucky gave a single nod.

Clint put his hands up "no hard feelings Barnes I want to save you as much as the next person but I've been brain washed by this guy, I just can't trust he'll do the right thing after that." Clint put his hands together then leaned back on his chair.

Natasha hadn't looked up from the floor since they started voting. Her voice cut through the silence "I vote yes" everyone looked at Natasha they were all so sure she was going to vote no. She looked up for the first time and met Bucky's eyes "after you left, I went in to talk to Loki and he told me the same thing he told you. And you were right; we should let him do this. I'm not saying I trust him, I never will but you guys trust me and that's more than I deserve, he doesn't deserve our trust however that doesn't mean we shouldn't give it to him." Bucky smiled at Natasha, he got up from his seat, as did Nat, they met in the middle of the circle of avengers. Bucky stretched out his hand for Nat to shake but she knocked it aside and reached up around Bucky's neck and hugged him tightly.

"Might I just add" Loki interrupted "I am here, you don't need to talk over me."

"Be grateful you're here at all brother" Thor said "if Father had his way…" he trailed off.

Everyone settled back into their respectful seats and look at Tony as he spoke "well I'm voting no because I still thing we should have a closer look at the chair but that brings us to a 3:3 tie. Steve you're the deciding vote." Everyone looked to Steve.

"Shit." Steve said. He dragged his hands across his face and ran them through his hair, then looked to Loki "I'd swear to god but… if you hurt him I will not even hesitate to kill you, you can give me all that crap about how you're a god and no puny mortal can kill you but you hurt Bucky and I'll show what this mortal can do!"

"'I understand." Loki replied to Steve's threat with grace.

Steve nodded "fine, I'm voting yes but on one condition."

Bucky smiled "you can have anything you want, Stevie"

"Okay." Steve grinned back "Then I want to get married before, just in case."

"Okay" Bucky nodded happily.

Authors Notes: **so that was a lot more dramatic than I thought it was going to be. When started that chapter I didn't know it was gonna end that way, I legit just start writing and see where it takes me I have zero structure or plot but I've got thus far so. Omg guys a lot has happened to our beloved Captain America, Hydra cap and #givecapaboyfriend it's been eventful for him. Thanks guys again for reading and I'm thinking within the next two chapters is gonna be the wedding (finally) so if there is anything** _ **anything**_ **you want in the wedding please speak now or forever hold you peace (whop there it is) seriously though I am running thin on ideas. Love ya all xx ;)**


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